When Barry met Leo

[cdnmatt]

He's the one who makes me crazy. He doesn't know who he is, or what the hell he wants, hence it screwes with my life.

He's busy building his new bungalow now, so good -- get some hard, manual labor into him again. I'll finish up the software on my end.

Again, let him see me again in person, and I bet that immediately clarifies things in his mind for him.

[Nirish guy]

you really are a glutton for punishment aren't you.......they say there are people who actually enjoy being treated like shit and it makes them feel comfortable as that's what they've been used to for a long time.......I guess you're one of them just... oh well, if it works for you, good on you, if it makes you happy then don't let anyone tell you otherwise than to keep doing what you're doing I guess.

[frequent]

He's the one who makes me crazy. He doesn't know who he is, or what the hell he wants, hence it screwes with my life.

Only because you allow it to screw with your life. I’ve told you how to treat your PTSD, but as you have no interest in that solution perhaps you could adopt the Buddhist practice of detachment. After all, you keep telling us how much you value living in a Buddhist culture

[frequent]

Make you a deal. Post the results of your latest general checkup, and I'll post letters from the Canadian doctor proving my optic nerves are now atrophic (sp).

Unfortunately a general check up is for physical health only and I’d much prefer to read an expert’s assessment of the mental health of each of you. My assessment of a447 in that regard is already well known

[cdnmatt]

Only because you allow it to screw with your life. I’ve told you how to treat your PTSD, but as you have no interest in that solution perhaps you could adopt the Buddhist practice of detachment. After all, you keep telling us how much you value living in a Buddhist culture

Yeah, your brilliant advice was to take LSD. I think I'll ignore that advice, but thanks anyway.

Don't give that advice to my oldest brother, because he'd probably take you up on it. heh.

[cdnmatt]

Thinking about it, how the hell do you know if you have PTSD? There's a chance, and if I do have it, I've had it since summer of 2005 when I moved to Budapest, and my first husband threw our relationship under the bus because you're not allowed to be gay in Budapest, and all his childhood friends were homophobic.

Everything was awesome while we lived in Canada. Then we moved to Budapest, and he decided he doesn't want to be gay anymore, so that was the beginning of the end of that relationship. Still loved me and wanted to be together forever, but just not in a gay way. Not sure what the fuck all that was about. What an ass.

[frequent]

Yeah, your brilliant advice was to take LSD. I think I'll ignore that advice, but thanks anyway.

It wasn't LSD for PTSD but MDMA per the number of successful pilot studies as this link shows - https://maps.org/research/mdma/ptsd/phase3. However ignoring advice seems to be a speciality of yours - and look where you've ended up because of it. LSD isn't recommended for PTSD, just for the chronically unhappy-with-their-lot-in-life

[frequent]

Everything was awesome while we lived in Canada. Then we moved to Budapest, and he decided he doesn't want to be gay anymore, so that was the beginning of the end of that relationship. Still loved me and wanted to be together forever, but just not in a gay way. Not sure what the fuck all that was about. What an ass.

Looked in the mirror recently (metaphorically speaking of course)? Given that every single one of your relationships turns to shit, have you considered that the fault lies in yourself and not in them? At the very least your track record in picking losers is impeccable

[cdnmatt]

Looked in the mirror recently (metaphorically speaking of course)? Given that every single one of your relationships turns to shit, have you considered that the fault lies in yourself and not in them? At the very least your track record in picking losers is impeccable

Yes, I've obviously considered that. Even asked both my farang husband and Leo what I did wrong, and what I could have done better. Neither could answer me, and both said it was all their fault, and had nothing to do with me. So I have no idea, but if I don't know what's wrong, I can't fix it. Best I can ascertain is that gay people simply such at long-term relationships.

Never bothered asking Kim what I did wrong, because that was just a mistake. Lesson learned, never fall in love with a go-go boy, and move to Khon Kaen with him. If you do, after a nap, you may end up finding yourself having a conversation such as:

Me: Kim, where did the fridge go?
Kim: I gave it to my father.
Me: Well, why the fuck did you do that? Are you really that stupid?
Kim: What?!? He needed a fridge! Why are you angry and stupid again?
Me: Well, of course I'm angry, because we don't have a fucken fridge anymore!

Good times. At least the sex was the best I've ever had. I miss waking up to him sucking on my dick. That was always a nice surprise to wake up to. Get a little whiskey in him, and he was a horny little bugger, I tell ya.

[frequent]

Yes, I've obviously considered that. Even asked both my farang husband and Leo what I did wrong, and what I could have done better. Neither could answer me, and both said it was all their fault, and had nothing to do with me.

Conflict avoidance pure and simple. You claim to be in tune with Asian values and can't even grasp that simple concept. Alternatively they couldn't bothered deciding where to start and then spending the very long time it would take to explain it to you