When Barry met Leo

[kkjason]

You said - quote: "No one in Thailand uses the word gik..". Are Thai's not in Thailand? How am I putting words in your mouth. You are now saying you never said Thai's, yet what does 'No one in Thailand' mean to you exactly?

Regardless - You do make some good comments here on the forum - I will give you that - but I would just encourage to stop generalizing - Saying words like nobody uses, no one does this, etc., assumes that we are alike - and that is just not the case. I have not always lived in Khon Kaen, for example. When I first moved to Thailand in '98, I lived in Chiang Mai for 4 years. The pollution and traffice - not to mention the swarms of white people - got to be too much for me, so I moved to Bangkok. I met my husband there (just to be clear - we are legally married in America - so he is my husband, no matter what Thailand says) and we lived for 5 years until moving to Khon Kaen 9 years ago. Most of our gay friends are in Bangkok and Chiang Mai, while we have many straight friends in KK. Many of them do use the word 'gik'. Now, perhaps your friends do not - kudos to them - You know I rarely agree with Matt, but when he is right, he is right. I even have a friend in Koh Samiu who, before he and his boyfriend decided to be exclusive, openly told others that he had a gik. To me, it sounds much better than 'I am having an affair', or 'I am sleeping around...'. Gik says it all in one simple word. Just because I do not have a gik - and my husband would kill me if I did - does not mean I don't know what the word means.

Cheers -

No no no, don't twist this, don't put words in my mouth! I never said Thais, when talking to each other don't use "gik", are we Thais here? Are we speaking Thai here on SGT? We all foreigners, and use English here. What words, what terms Thais use in their daily language with each other is not the issue at hand.

Lets not start measuring contest who's been here longer, I have lived here for years, I moved here in 2003, but lately I only spend time between September to March or April. (You see, I fell for it, and participated in your measuring contest.). Let's not, ok?

Back to topic, when did you last used the term "gik", when talking to fellow foreigner, obviously in your native language, be it English or any other language?

Why is it that I have not heard this word uttered by another fellow foreigner. I texted to 5 friends just now, after reading your post, they were sending 555 to my silly question.
Anything else I hear every single day when talking to friends, mostly "boy", I myself prefer to say "guy", if the guy is offed from bar, and we bring it up with foreigner friend next day, I use "gogo boy". On apps everybody uses "money boy", or , if guy seems sincerely not there for business, we say "not a money boy"

Gik? Never! And you know it! We are both foreigners, every foreigner here uses same vocabulary. We don't live on different planets, you are in KK, I'm in BKK or Pattaya, but we are both foreigners, we use same words.

I noticed, KK, you never took an issue with the term "curtain motel". Why? You called me out, aggressively, accusing me of not knowing what I'm talking about, when "gik" was the topic. Why not take an issue with both terms that I questioned? Please, I wait for your answer regarding "curtain motel". "Motel", not hotel! When was the last time you used this term in a sentence?

I'm hoping Smiles, Francois, ChristianPFC, MFAS weight in, and if thry use "gik", when speaking to fellow foreigner. I'm not even going to ask their opinion on "curtain motel", it's laughable.

"Hi Christian, I ended up in Ratchaburi tonight, could you recommend a curtain motel here? I need a place to take my gik there." LOL

EDIT, Francois did comment already, I missed it on mobile.

[kkjason]

This is true - There are 'girlie' bar areas in KK around Tuckom area. Matt is correct. That is a very good reason why I am so glad to be gay - I think KK must get the leftovers, because these girls are nothing to look at. You know, us gays usually have a best friend or two who are girls. I have some great friends that are girls and are drop dead gorgoues - Thye of course feel safe with me because they know I'm gay, and I'm not exactly much to look at anyway - But, why anyone would go to the girlie bars in KK is beyond me. Now, the guys in KK, that is another story. They are HOT and many of them have a great deal in life going for them, so have no desire to be money boys. Just going to Central Plaza is great if you want to see some nice looking guys and admire their bodies.

Up to you. And it's not just Pattaya and Bangkok that have farang ghettos. Khon Kaen had one too -- it was at the Tuckom area as that's where all the girlie bars are. I'm sure even KKJason can vouch for me on that one.

I avoided that place like the plague too. I know your type all too well. Can't even count to 10 in Thai, but sit around the bars all day bitching about Thai people and explaining what's wroung with the country, all the while boasting about how you're an expert on Thai culture.

No idea why you'd move all the way to Thailand, and not bother learning the language. Talk about limiting your life and environment. Have fun in your farang ghetto though, with your money boys and short time rooms as you call them.

For an example of what I mean, Kong sounds like a really great guy, and I'm sure will become a good friend and we'll have some good laughs and times together. There is absolutely no way I'd be able to call him a friend right now unless I could speak Thai. He speaks a little bit of English, but I definitely speak Thai better than he speaks English. You're missing out by not knowing the language.

[frequent]

You said - quote: "No one in Thailand uses the word gik..". Are Thai's not in Thailand? How am I putting words in your mouth. You are now saying you never said Thai's, yet what does 'No one in Thailand' mean to you exactly? -

While not wishing to put words into Double Dutch’s mouth, a Westerner using a Thai word in an English dialogue with other Westerners is simply being pretentious and, probably, lacking in good manners. There is, it seems from previous posters, a perfectly good English equivalent to “gik” - “fuckbuddy” - and that’s what should be used. For the more squeamish perhaps they could use the “FWB” acronym - “Friends With Benefits”

[DoubleDutch]

Yeah, by doing something he means dropping his life savings on starting a vegetable farm, at which point he's stuck in his village for 4 or 5 months to tend to the farm.

He doesn't know what's going on, nor do I at the moment. I'm waiting for a response mainly from my main business partner before I know. He can't just wait forever, and at some point has to start bringing in an income, or doing something with himself.

You just said Leo has savings. In another post few months ago you mentioned he has substantial amount, in Laos terms, sitting in a bank. Why would he be suddenly so pressed for time today? He can only wait for you few weeks now, after you've been gone for months and months, and Leo has had sponsors during your a absence. Now he can wait 2, maybe 3 weeks, then he's off! He will drop you, "an awsome husband", and "someone so good to him, he will never find anything even close to you", and lets not forget, "and he knows it!". Post after post after post you have been hammering this point. Now your husband comes up with a ultimatum. Is that how true love works?

He'll leave you, in order to start a vegetable garden, like Prince Charles, organic garden, hopefully! Under 25, good looking gay guy will sit in a village, alone, and dedicate his life to organic cucumbers. Makes sense!
Young, good looking Asian guy, who uses Grindr, and likely Hornet and other apps, guy who has been living with a foreigner, having been fully supported by his live in foreign husband, will uninstall Grindr, and go buy cucumber seeds. Sure!

[cdnmatt]

Yeah, but he pissed it all away on his little holiday. He still has enough to not worry about money for a while, but nonetheless, can't just sit there with his thumb up his ass forever waiting for me.

All he got from his "sponsor" was 5000 baht at the end of the trip. He got free flights and hotel rooms in exchange for his body. He doesn't see it like that, but I sure as shit do.

[DoubleDutch]

You said - quote: "No one in Thailand uses the word gik..". Are Thai's not in Thailand? How am I putting words in your mouth. You are now saying you never said Thai's, yet what does 'No one in Thailand' mean to you exactly?

Of course I meant foreigners speaking to each other. Cdnnatt is talking to us in English, we all use English here. If I did not specify that my observation about use of language, and Thai slang applies to us only, not Thais, my mistake. I though it goes without saying that my sentence, "No one in Thailand uses the word gik..", applies only to us, foreigners.

Did you really interpret this sentence to mean that Thais do not use the term "gik"? In that case I should have made it more clear.

Topic was Cdnmatt's understanding of Thai subtleties, being very much ahead of us, the unfortunate souls living in "farang ghettos". I questioned his knowledge of daily life here, the basics.
Cdnmatt portrais himself as a pro, an old hand in all things Thai. Local customs, Thai slang, knowledge of Thai language. I don't know if you remember, about 6 months ago Cdnmatt was moving to Laos, and he mentioned he had over staid his visa, years of overstay. But a guy, a master at all things Thai, did not know to stay away from land boarders, in case of overstay. A guy who is most knowledgeable here, who ridicules us, the ghetto people, for not living a Thai life, not socializing with Thais only, preferring to have friends from our own cultural background and language, this guy did not know basic procedures of overstay bust - if stopped on street, handcuffed and transported to IDC, try to cross land border, handcuffs, and trip to Immigration Detention Centre in Bangkok.

All here gave him same advice, buy a ticket, have 20.000 THB in cash in your pocket, head to the airport, pay the 20k, receive your 10 year ban, a stamp in passport, and entry into Immigration data base. But NO ARREST, no detention. He, the wisest of us all, did not know this. Others knew it, I knew it, although I have never overstayed, it is simply such basics, you'd almost have to go out of your way to not know this. Cdnmatt did not know it. He, the only one here, man with years of overstay, who really had all the reasons in the world to look it up, study it, all it really would have taken is 30 minutes at ThaiVisa forum. If cdnmatt walked around several years, he was very lucky never having been stopped, and checked by a cop. I have, several times, simply stopped and asked to present passport.

Man in this situation, several years of overstay is 1 step away from arrest and certain deportation should not own animals, animald who's life depend on him. Had the doors of his house been simply shut, Leo on one of his frequent trips out of Thailand, dogs would have died of dehydration within days. And this is a guy who casually talks about adopting 2 young children! Cdnmatt has said that once in Laos, he will adopt dogs, again. Any dog in Laos would be better off remaining stray, at least they'd have better chance staying alive.

The point is, cdnmatt's knowledge of Thailand seems on level of someone who's been here few weeks, or someone who may have lived here for years, but didn't leave the house much. And that's fine, nothing wrong with lifestyle we chose, but do not try to impress this board, do not try to establish your Thai credentials by dropping some Thai slang word, totally unnecessary, out of context, and obviously forced. Natural flow would be to say fuck buddy, guy I fuck, my regular, there are many ways to say it, cdnmatt is Canadian, and this is how we talk. No excuse of language barrier either. It is obvious attempt to sound "local". Lets not even touch "curtain motel", it's so bad, it's funny.

None of it would be an issue, I love Cdnmatt's stories. I get little bit upset when cdnmatt presents himself better than others, and he does it all the time. If I had to pick a low point of his literary career, about a month ago Cdnmatt casually stated that his relationship, his marriage is "real", unlike relationships of someone older, he actually threw a number, men in 70s. That bothered me, most of my foreigner friends here are retired, and around 70. That was cruel. Not just bad, cruel.

I'm glad you like some of my comments, thank you!

[cdnmatt]

No, I didn't know to stay away from the land border with Laos, because I cleared it before once with a 3 year overstay without any issue, and walked right into Laos. Grabbed a double entry tourist VISA from the Thailand embassy, and was back in Thailand the next day.

I didn't know Laos changed their immigration laws after Thailand implemented the black listing laws.

[DoubleDutch]

You didn't know in March 2016 new regulations came to effect? And 6 months earlier constant warnings and reminders in Thai media, and almost daily drumbeat on ThaiVisa, pointing to deadline, specific date of voluntarily clearing overstay, pay the fee, and avoid the penalty of being blacklisted and denied entry.

Tourist Visa rules keep changing all the time, anyone staying here long term needs to keep up, once a months quick glance at ThaiVisa is enough.

Everyone here warned you during that period, bkkguy spoke of nothing else but how to save your ass from being deported.

7:21AM in Vancouver. Haven't gone to bed yet?

[cdnmatt]

Well, I knew I was going to be blacklisted from Thailand for 5 years upon exiting, and that was fine with me.

I didn't know Laos also changed their immigration policy, and began denying entry to anyone with a Thailand blacklist stamp in their passport at a land border.

Again, I cleared a 3 year overstay before at the Nong Khai border, and walked right into Laos. I got out of Thailand just fine, but didn't know Laos would refuse me entry, forcing me to go back to Thailand to be deported.

[DoubleDutch]

Yeah, overstay wasn't a big deal until March 2016.

I've overstayed once, 9 days, I forgot the date on stamp, did the monthly visa run to Cambodia border, paid the 9 times 500 THB, took 3 minutes, IO showed no emotions, gave a receipt, no over stay stamp, no nothing. Came back in same van with all the others in our visa run group. But that was 10 years ago.
Just 5 years ago Thai immigration couldn't even connect your new passport to your previous passport. That's how backwards their data base and systems were. All you had to do was get a new passport, and all your sins were wiped off. Now they connect your new passport to your history, all entries etc are on IOfficer screen.