Or on the way home. Whatever

There I was, minding my own business, sitting in a beer garden, when most of the people sitting at the adjacent table got up and left. Was it something I said? The one remaining person was a young, blond, wearing shorts that revealed a peach fuzz on the legs, gratifyingly large bulge behind the zipper, man. Then I noticed the killer - he was wearing a wedding ring. There are gay men of my acquaintance who regard a man with a wedding ring as a special challenge - take him away from his wife for some "real" fun, and another hetero notch on their belt

At the time I wasn't sure why, but he decided to strike up a conversation. Fortunately, like many young educated Europeans, he spoke English. I asked after his wife, noticing the wedding ring. "Oh", he replied, "that's for my husband." Shades of cdnmatt!! Questions about how he was enjoying Oktoberfest elicited a comment about the expense, and he was running out of money. "Oh dear," I thought, "corruptible." Ah well, he was a needy millennial and I felt entitled. I explained that I was staying some distance away. It turned out that his abode was just around the corner. A satisfactory negotiation on price was quickly concluded

His accommodation turned out to be some sort of youth hostel, but he assured me that we would be undisturbed in his room, and I took him at his word

After a shower (communal showers) we returned to his room, shut the door, and went at it. The "gratifyingly large bulge" turned out to be thick but not too long - around 8 inches I'm guessing - but neither a python nor an anaconda. He was already hard when we returned from the showers. After a few minutes of activity, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that the door was not quite shut. There seemed to be a figure looking through an ever-widening crack and wanking himself. My companion soon noticed that we had an audience and whispered "Shall we join?"

Noblesse oblige is my motto in such circumstances, as my regular followers on SGT will already know. Into the room walked a twenty-something Japanese. Better and better. I usually find the Japanese are, thank god, animals in bed, and this one was no exception. Mouths, tongues, cocks, anuses everywhere. Not an orifice was left unexplored by every tongue that could reach it (I'm not a contortionist). My European friend soon made it clear that he preferred to bottom. "Thank god someone does," I thought, "as it's not going to be me"

Unlike the porn I've occasionally watched recently he didn't offer to double-deck with me and the Japanese guy. Let me just say it turned into a sashimi sandwich. After we finished and I was out on the street I noticed the Japanese guy with a skateboard. Meals on wheels!!

As for my gay friends, the rise of same-sex marriage has put a real damper on their idea of fun. If a wedding ring is no longer a reliable indicator of heterosexual marriage it is (as religious conservatives have said all along) the end of civilisation as we know it