The opposite of the 'Latinpoxx Style' ...

[Smiles]

I have a dear friend who has been coming to Thailand for many years now.
I met him in Pattaya (he was a friend of a friend) and immediately took to his wisdom, his sense of humour, his never-ending pipe smoking, his sophistication and his non-stuffiness, and the descriptions of the boys he offed, And now ~ he is 10 years older than me, perhaps more ~ it seems that there is a good chance that he will never be coming to Thailand again.
In the last two visits (he came to Pattaya 2 or 3 times a year) his voice so low it had become difficult to hear; his walking ~ with cane ~ was tearfully slow and wobbly; the gradual deterioration of his interest in 'things'.

The boys in Jomtien Complex knew him very well. When they noticed him slowly traversing the Complex Chaos they ran over to greet him, crowded around him wai-ing their butts off, asking "when he come here?" and "how you feel ... OK?"
He always long-stayed at the same Complex hotel and used to demand that he have the spar-hot-tub room. He told me he once had four (or was it six?) Thai guys in the tub with him ... carousing in a hot-tub filled with soap bubbles which almost reached the ceiling. All deliciously porno-like.

One of my favourite discussions with him while sitting in a bar watching the Boys-go-by, was, the boys in general. Hence this post: his kindness, his horniness, his gentle way came to be at it's zenith when talking about, or to, the boys.

Such was his nature to do good to them all, to treat them with decency was number one in his book: hence the title of this post. His take on 'treatment' in general was the exact opposite,of the philosophy taken by, let's be honest here, our dearest LatinPoxx.
Don't get me wrong, I rather like Latin in a certain way. I hope he keeps posting on Sawatdee (he's been around for just about forever). He hangs his philosophy on his sleeve and never backslides into "niceness": "fuck 'em and forget 'em". The world needs such creatures to keep an over-arching maudlinness and naivete at bay . . . and in fact I think that he would know exactly what I'm doing juxtaposing His Way next to my friend's Way. And perhaps agrees.
In my own defence this is not meant be written as a moral lesson or paean regarding anyone. It's about opposites ... that's all.



Going on a bit too long here I know. But please read the post below ... one of my friend's writings on this board about four years ago.
He has stopped posting here anymore, probably because of the afflications he has come to rest with. That's sad for this Board, and myself, and his other friends, but inevitable sooner or later for all of us. (If he ever reads this he'll probably say something like " ... I'm not dead yet buster! ...")

I have bolded and blue-marked some of my friend's actions which stand in a perfect un-harmony as would be Latin's way of doing, given an equivalent circumstance.

"So, last night I found myself in a unique situation (for me anyway), so we all laugh and joke go go boys telling us " oh I just work in bar two months" etc and "you my only customer in one month" etc, which while we all may like to believe usually take with a large pinch of salt.

" ... So, last night I offed a 22 year old cute guy from kawai ii, before I offed him even though I normally don't bother he mentioned something about being new so to be sure I asked him "what you do" to which he replied " I do everything" - I sensed he perhaps did quite grasp the question and do asked it again and explained EXACTLY what it meant in graphic terms, to which he smiled and said "it ok, I like, I do everything" so I offed him. On leaving the manasan took him aside and you could tell was giving him a bit of a lecture to which he simply nodded a lot, she then came to and said "really, he new, if you not happy please come back tomorrow and tell me and you get money back etc.

So, back in my Apartment as we were there for the night we were sitting watching TV ( scooby doo joe ! :-) and talking and it became apparently I honestly WAS his first EVER customer and he had only been working in the bar 8 days as his "sister" ( not really his sister I understand) who he lived with had taken a new job and I think she had basically told him" ok time you stood on your own two feet" so she got him that job and room and away she went and left him to it, told me he actually thought hs was going to be a doorman and was shocked when they asked him to dance on his first night but thought it was only for one night so said ok as he didn't want to cause trouble for his sister and surprise surprise every night thereafter was the same hence me becoming his first customer.

So, after him taking 40 minutes in the shower ( alone) eventually he came out and got into bed and I asked was he sure he wanted to do this, explaining he absolutely didn't have to , he said he was and so we continued for a minute or two, however became apparent to me that he had NO idea what he was doing either for me or re his own body so on stopping and talking he admitted he was a total virgin in every sense of the word and the only ever sexual experience he had had was with another thai guy when he was 14 and that didn't involve fucking.

So, again we stopped - and I want to emphasise this and can't express it enough! - I / we totally stopped and I just lay and hugged him and explained that perhaps he should take this time to really think about what he was doing as I felt he was doing something he certainly didn't want to and being blunt wasn't perhaps experienced / mature enough to be doing, explaining that tonight he did not need to do anything and we could just talk etc to help him and That I wasn't angry etc ( which god love him was all he was worried about)

So after about an hour of talking where we covered everything about what his new job would REALLY entail and the sort of guys he would Be likely to meet and what they would expect from him etc, right through to " are you sure you're even gay / like boys ( I think he was bi actually) - anyway after a long chat and with no coaxing from me he said " ok, I want to try as if I have boyfriend I need to know how to do" so acting as a mentor rather than a customer perhaps I took him through the ropes of a typical gay sex session ( including some go go tricks to get your customer off fast so you can get out of there quicker should he decide to remain in his job) so he tried getting fucked but obviously hurt the first time so stopped before getting to it feeling good part so we done other things, each one being new to him, which I won't bore you with but resulting in us both cumming where of course like all "str8 guys" with a gay guy he then couldn't get out the door quickly enough he was that embarrassed. :-)

So, just for conversations sake as I am quite happy with my own actions but what would YOU have done in the same situation ? - threw him out the door for lying ( he didn't get where that simple lie would eventually end up) or carry on regardless without any care for his feelings or stop entirely and bringing back to bar to say he really shouldn't be working thee as he wasnt able / mentally prepared for it etc or advise him to leave Pattaya and go back to his village and not look back and consider this a close shave to a different life he undoubtedly didn't want - or something different ?

I'm very aware others may have their own opinions and may slate me re my handling of the above but all I can say is in the circumstances as they presented themselves I dealt with things as gently and practically as I could as I figured if "I" didn't tomorrow night he might find himself with a less understanding / patient farang who would either hurt him or get him fired. So what would YOU have done ?? ..."

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[arsenal]

Beautifully written.

[a447]

I would have asked for a mutual chuck-wow in order to get the sex part out of the way - relatively easy, as every guy can do that - and then take him out to dinner or to Starbucks or whatever, sit him down and tell him what the job actually entails.

If he still wanted to work as a gogo boy, I'd give him another chance and off him the following night.

Given the situation, I'd pay him the agreed amount whether or not he performed on the second occasion. But if he didn't I wouldn't waste my time with him again. But I wouldn't get angry - I'd send him away with a smile and a "This job is not for everyone, but thanks for trying."

[Manforallseasons]

Even without sex sounds like a good time was had by all!

[Smiles]

a447 ... you would of loved my friend I assure you, with thoughts like yours ... i.e. : " ... I'd send him away with a smile and a "This job is not for everyone, but thanks for trying."

[Nirish guy]

lovely story - and actually I too have carried out EXACTLY the same drill on more than one occasion with results ranging from the above couldn't wait to leave, through to decided no, they didn't want to do ANYTHING after all ( ok I admit that one pissed me off somewhat but I ran with it) through to "ohhhh I like this, l want more and couldn't get rid of the guy as of course being his first he fell in "love" / lust / hoariness with me until I could realign his senses.

So a very nice read and sad too in a way to read and realise that your friends day of doing such things are perhaps coming to an end or over and that also those days will of course come to us all, but I guess in a way that (should) also make us stop and just take a moment to appreciate the literal life and strength we have (left) in our bodies now at this stage in our lives and use and enjoy what energy we have left still.....before we can't anymore. I hope your friend has many more years with us and who knows perhaps he'll impart some more wisdom as we go as to how there's more to come and life and your mind changes to accommodate your body and strength as that all fades, lets hope anyway.

[arsenal]

Assuming the boy hasn't blatantly lied to you and is just inexperienced, treating him nicely has reaped lovely rewards for me some time down the line.

[snotface]

I can vouch for the fact that the subject of the OP is a lovely man - gentle-natured, civilised, witty, generous to a fault. Thais of all ages, not just the boys, gravitated and warmed to him, instinctively recognising his good heart. Farangs too were keen to get to know him, sensing in his air of faded distinction that there might be something to their benefit in doing so. Sometimes a bit of reflected glory came my way, just by dint of being with him. We made several trips round Thailand together, usually with Smiles' partner, the ever-smiling Pot, as our driver, and they will always remain among my happiest memories of living here.

He had a very mobile face which, at different times and angles, could put one in mind of anything from a saint to a satyr. Conversation with him might range from baroque music and Victorian novels to the latest Pattaya news, the sleazier the better. His favourite bar was Eros. If I saw him at breakfast the day after a visit he would announce at once, 'I behaved absolutely scandously last night' - and promptly launch into an anecdote to prove it. In his youth (and I could never quite get my head round it) he was into the leather scene and BMW bikes. His look of being a kindly old professor did not tell the whole story.

He knew I disapproved of his extreme generosity (even though I was often the beneficiary of it). Barboys, waiters, hotel staff bought motorbikes, sports cars, seaside villas, private jets on the strength of his tips. If he saw me frowning and pursing my lips at a restaurant table as yet another boy received the equivalent of a lottery win, he would toss back his head and say, 'I just don't care.' There could be a certain amount of cultural naivety to this habit. Once he told me he had been to a Thai dentist and was so impressed with the treatment he received, and at such a bargain price, that he offered the dentist an extra thousand baht. He was a bit puzzled when the dentist took offence and asked me wonderingly if I thought he had done the wrong thing. I buried my head in my hands.

I hate referring to him in the past tense. As Smiles points out, he is in declining health now and mainly trapped in his London flat, where endless cups of coffee and refills of his beloved pipe are among his few remaining pleasures. I don't expect to see him out here again and that will leave a big gap in my life.

(Incidentally, the anecdote Smiles quotes above about the virginal boy reminds me of a post from way back in the mists of time - on the dreadedned board, I think - which included one of my all-time favourite misspellings. A poster was saying that he had taken off a boy new to the bar scene who was so nervous that he was ' quacking in bed'. Well, fuck a duck!).

[paborn]

Marvelous story. As to Latin, well, I've always taken him with a very large grain of salt. My own, oft repeated, "rent don't buy" philoshophy might lead one to voice Latin's style merely to put on some defensive armour against emotions. It might just be that under all that bristle he is an "old softie" and protecting himself. Anyway, just a thought.

[bazzabear]

Marvelous story. As to Latin, well, I've always taken him with a very large grain of salt. My own, oft repeated, "rent don't buy" philoshophy might lead one to voice Latin's style merely to put on some defensive armour against emotions. It might just be that under all that bristle he is an "old softie" and protecting himself. Anyway, just a thought.

must say this is a breath of fresh air. such a nice article, and superbly written. and i know exactly how that guy felt.i know that i am the same. soft hearted yes. a fool. yes . but a happy fool , thanks again for the article, lets have more like this