Qualities of the gay man v the straight man

[poshglasgow]

When I was in Jomtien a few weeks ago I strayed, under the influence of a few pints, from the comparative safety and culture of the gay community in the Complex into nearby "Breeder Land" by way of a football bar so that I could watch a World Cup match. I could just have easily have stayed in the @Home bar to watch on the big screen but occasionally I feel the need to take a short peek in the straight bars to see if they are still as ghastly as I remembered them to be on my last trip!

The contrast, needless to say, is extreme between the level of decorum, intelligent conversation, mild manner, basic civility and controlled behaviour that one finds in the gay community, and the mayhem, uncouth, bombastic, homophobic, loutish, racist behaviour often associated with 'macho land'. "En-ger-land, En-ger-land!!"

My local pub in the UK, for example, whilst very convenient, is awash with laddish behaviour, displayed by middle-aged neanderthal tradesmen (I have nothing whatsoever against tradesmen: I have everything against tradesmen who are blatantly homophobic) who, on a good day, refer to gays as "fucking poofs and shirt-lifters"! They seem to care little that this kind of behaviour in a public place is illegal, but to them it is normal and a necessary signal to the rest of the 'herd' that their heterosexuality is without question, for fear that their equally intellectually-challenged friends may think him a......well, you know, a chap who, er, bats for the other side!

Whilst listening to a most inspiring gay man talking about his teenage years in sixties Britain on BBC Radio 4 this morning, I began to think about the levels of innate intelligence between heteros and homos. It is my theory that the gay man is miles ahead of his heterosexual counterpart. Certainly within the creative arts and education we tend to lead, but the difference is particularly obvious when chatting with fellow gay men: intelligent, erudite, philosophical, sensitive creatures that we are.

Please, having said all that, let's not now launch a custard pie throwing fest between members in this thread. We are, or we should be, all on the same side. (Unless you support Glasgow Rangers)!!

Anyone else have views on the perceived differences between gays and straights?

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[scottish-guy]

.. the mayhem, uncouth, bombastic, homophobic, loutish, racist behaviour often associated with 'macho land'. "En-ger-land, En-ger-land!!" ....We are, or we should be, all on the same side. (Unless you support Glasgow Rangers)!!

Well, the Glasgow Rangers and "En-ger-land" supporters are certainly on the same side - you'll find a large number of Rangers fans who have only 3 "stepping out" outfits:

1. Rangers top
2. England top
3. Bowler Hat and Orange Order Sash

As for gay men being more educated or cultured that (ostensibly) straight men - I think you're comparing apples with oranges (no pun intended, Rangers fans).

You're comparing a clientele of (as you say) "tradesmen" who are part of a sports and drinking culture and want to be amongst their peers in a raucous bar showing football matches, with a client group who generally want to sit in a bar ogling the young male talent without anybody noticing. Obviously I'm talking of the UK, not Thailand

Gay men have historically been 'outsiders' and, by necessity, very adept at keeping their collars up and their heads down in order to hide their "dirty little secret" as society would call it - and this still influences their behaviour in many social settings.

I don't think it's a matter of education or highbrow culture at all, but of societal pressures influencing behaviours.

[arsenal]

This is somewhat stereotyping. Many gay men are unpleasantly uncouth and demonstrate all the decorum of a rutting bison in a pile of manure. Even on this very board.

[paborn]

True Arsenal. But, I believe, or would love to believe, that Gay culture does have a larger community of cultured men then is common. However, comparing gay culture to a group of football fans during world cup play is, indeed, stereotyping.

Aids devastated Broadway for more than a decade. The deaths of gay writers, directors, players and dancers reduced the "great white way" to producing revivals. Still, if you had entered the artist community you would have found the straight men and women there to be sympathetic and emotionally fraught by the loss of their talented friends.

[Uranus]

This is somewhat stereotyping. Many gay men are unpleasantly uncouth and demonstrate all the decorum of a rutting bison in a pile of manure. Even on this very board.

Couldn’t agree more.

[frequent]

Since the binary distinction of "gay" versus "straight" does not exist, the question is meaningless. As for guessing someone's "qualities" from social media alone, I offer today's Dilbert:

dt180711.gif

[scottish-guy]

Presumably you don't believe that Acid or Alkali exists either?

[frequent]

True Arsenal. But, I believe, or would love to believe, that Gay culture does have a larger community of cultured men then is common. However, comparing gay culture to a group of football fans during world cup play is, indeed, stereotyping.

It's a chicken and egg thing, paborn. If you think you're less likely to be accepted socially where you are, you look to somewhere more accepting. The theatre in particular and arts in general have often been "bohemian" and therefore a natural magnet. I've always found the largest employment group of men who identify as gay are waiters. However there are a lot of men who have sex with other men who do not identify as gay - maybe the majority - and who recoil in horror at things like Mardi Gras parades

[frequent]

Presumably you don't believe that Acid or Alkali exists either?

In your case scotty it's best to remain silent and let people think you're a fool rather than open your mouth and prove their point. My acknowledgement of the Kinsey Scale is something about which I often remark

[scottish-guy]

I'm well aware of that - and it's the very point I was making, by comparing it to the PH scale.

Surprised you didn't get that.

Maybe you had a bet on England to win tonight and their result has put you in a cranky mood, so I'll be a little more generous that you were, by not insulting you (as you did to me).

But be assured it's in the bank for another occasion.