At my age (and in common with most middle age men) I can only offer boobs.Originally Posted by a447
They are, however 100% real (even if rather droopy) - but pushed together (and with the lights out, blackout curtains drawn, and whilst wearing a blindfold) they can provide a reasonable titty ride.
Fancy a date?
poshglasgow (July 2nd, 2018)
A date with Scottish Guy. Hard to resist.
Clearly cdnmatt is a candidateAt my age (and in common with most middle age men) I can only offer boobs.
They are, however 100% real (even if rather droopy) - but pushed together (and with the lights out, blackout curtains drawn, and whilst wearing a blindfold) they can provide a reasonable titty ride.
Fancy a date?
What date did you have in mind SG? I may be in Glasgow on that particular day. I wouldn't be too comfortable with the blindfold though. I like to see whether I'm cumming or going!At my age (and in common with most middle age men) I can only offer boobs.
They are, however 100% real (even if rather droopy) - but pushed together (and with the lights out, blackout curtains drawn, and whilst wearing a blindfold) they can provide a reasonable titty ride.
Fancy a date?
Reminds me of the woman who walked into the surgery pushing a pram.
"Doctor, the baby's not looking well. He's awfully thin."
"No problem, whip up your blouse."
"I beg your pardon?"
"Just lift up your blouse while I examine you."
The doctor pushed and pulled and prodded the woman's breasts, after which he said, "I'm not surprised that the baby's malnourished, there's no milk in these breasts."
The woman stared at him and replied, "That's hardly surprising, doctor, for I'm the baby's grandmother - but I'm very glad I came!!"
I think this may have been the same Doctor, but anyway this guy walks into his surgery:
Doctor you'll have to help me
Why, whatever's the matter
I've got 3 strawberries stuck up my arse
YOU'VE WHAT?????????????
I said I've got 3 strawberries stuck up my arse.
Yes, I know what you said - I just can't believe it.
Look take your pants off, bend over the desk and let's have a look....
My God, you do have 3 strawberries stuck up your arse
I know - but can you do anything
Yes, I'll give you some cream!
poshglasgow (July 3rd, 2018)
"Quick, doctor, I need something for my liver."
"Here's a pound of onions!"
A guy comes into the doctor's office and starts maniacally running at each wall, the windows, the door - banging off them each time.
This goes on for 5 minutes
"What on earth is going on" says the Doc
"I can't help it Doctor, I think I'm a moth"
"A moth? A moth?? It's not a Doctor you need it's a psychiatrist!"
"I know but your light was on"
a447 (July 4th, 2018), poshglasgow (July 3rd, 2018)
"Doctor, my husband couldn't make it in today as he's very bad with his heart, so I've come to collect his repeat prescription."
"Funny you should say that," replied the doc, "because I've had a delivery this morning of some marvelous new pills that should really help him, but you have to listen carefully to my instructions, okay?"
"Yes doctor."
"Right, here we go. On Monday he takes the green pills and on Tuesday the yellow ones. Skip Wednesday and skip Thursday but on Friday he takes the red ones. Skip Saturday and skip Sunday but on Monday he has to take the green ones again, okay?"
"I think so, doctor."
"Come back and see me next week and tell me how he got on."
"Thank you very much doctor."
She's back a week later and the doctor greets her enthusiastically, anxious to know how the new medication fared.
"So how 's your husband this morning?"
"Doctor, my husband's dead."
"Oh my God, I'm dreadfully sorry to hear that, did you remember to give him the pills in the correct order?"
"It wasn't the pills that killed him, doctor, it was all that bloody skipping!"
a447 (July 4th, 2018), scottish-guy (July 3rd, 2018)
Doctor, Doctor - you’ll have to help me-
Yes whats the problem?
It’s my wife
What about her?
Well she’s gone off her rocker - she thinks she’s a savoury pasty and last night i came home and she’d had her head stuck
in the gas oven for 15 mins at regulo 4
My God this is serious - I’ll make a note on her records - whats her name?
Bridie
poshglasgow (July 3rd, 2018)
I don’t expect anybody non-Scottish to get that last one
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