Reverse Culture Shock?

[cdnmatt]

I'm sure many of you have experienced what I'm alluding to, I guess you'd call it "reverse culture shock". Have many of you experienced difficulties in transitioning back to your home countries/

There's some things I like, such as the fact English is spoken, which is quite handy. The calm and subdued culture around here is also quite nice in a way, as it helps allow you to plan for the future easier as everything is somewhat predictable. Then I also like the fact that everyone from taxi drivers to store clerks seem to doing alright in terms of standard of living.

Several things I don't like compared to Thailand though. One large contrast is everyone here is much more ingenuine, to the point people almost seem semi-comotosed. Nobody is really happy, sad, angry, excited, nothing -- everyone is just content and monotone. Everyone seems to put on this outside facade about how great they're doing, and it's as if everyone knows they're doing it, everyone realizes it's fucken retarded, and everyone continues to do it anyway. Whereas in Thailand, people are more themselves, and it's never really occurred to them how or why they'd put on some outside facade such as that.

Another thing I don't really like is how privacy is a #1 priority here, and is almost valued above as well. I understand it, but no longer agree with it, as it helps fuel the point I made above. I remember it took me years of living in Thailand to get over the fact I no longer really have any privacy, and to realize the benefits of it. For years I was somewhat agitated that people kept being nosey, asking me questions all the time, watching where I went, what I bought, what I did, etc. After a while though, I realized it's actually highly benefical, and they're not really being nosey at all. They're simply doing their small role to help contribute to the community by ensuring there's no problems or anything I need help with, ensuring everything is on the up and up, etc. At the same time I realized that any little quirks I may have are totally fine, and nobody actually cares. You're allowed to just be yourself, everyone is totally accepting of it, and as long as you're a good person with a good heart, that's all that really matters. No need to put on a show and hide your true self in Thailand, and no need to worry about the fact everyone in a 3km radius knows the general gist about you.

Another one is in Canada WHAT you are seems more important than WHO you are, whereas in Thailand it's the opposite. In Thailand you can be a complete prick, but as long as you're wealthy, you'll garner respect. Whereas in Thailand people wake up every morning, and seem to genuinely strive to be a good person, as who you are matters more there. For example, people in Canada will help you but because they feel moreso obligated to as it's "just the right thing to do", whereas in Thailand if someone helps you, it's because they genuinely want to help.

Another is where did the love and commpassion go in this society? It's gone, completely. One stark example was I ended up at a Tim Hortons in Vancouver around 4am, waiting for my 7:30am departure on Harbor Air. I checked out very early, and decided to make my way closer to the terminal to ensure I didn't miss my flight. There was a homeless guy wandering around asking for 50 cents, so I called him over, said I don't have any money, but feel free to order all the food / drink you want. He took me up on the offer, and the clerk proceeded to scold me for it, and I replied "What?!?! Everyone needs to eat!".

Since I was stuck waiting at Tim Hortons for about 2.5 hours, later the clerk proceeded to tell me I should never buy people like "that" food, because I guess he did things like lock himself in the bathroom and piss all over the floor, which she then had to clean up, etc. I sat back down, and all I could think was, "this type of scenario would never happen in Thailand". When people are down on their luck like that in Thailand, everyone chips in to help out. Whether it's a little money, or the small restaurant or market stall makes some food for them, or someone gets them a drink from 7/11, or whatever. The communal spirit of Thailand kicks in, those people get taken care of, hence never become so bitter that it causes problems such as this.

Oh, and one more I don't like is the socital stigmas that come with Canada. I remember at first I loved Thailand because telling a Thai your gay is about the same as telling them your favorite color is blue, whereas in Canada it's more along the lines of responses like, "ohhh, you're gay?!? that's great, I know lots og gay people, and you guys are just the nicest people!" or "this is Matt, my gay friend", and so on. Now that I'm blind though, that's went to a whole other level. Some people just naturally assume I must be unemployed and homeless, others say retarded shit like, "it's ok, your're already a winner in my eyes!". I don't even know what the fuck that means, but pretty sure it's disparaging. In Canada, people see a blind guy. In Thailand, people see a human being who just happens to be blind. Two totally different things

Anyway, long enough. How about you guys? And difficultues transitioning back to your home countries after so long in Asia?

[Smiles]

Why are you 'transitioning' to Canada in the first place? I thought you were just straitening out your passport problems so that could start 'transitioning' to Laos ... after you have 'un-transitioned' out of Thailand that is.
I assume that Kim and the dogs are pretty well over 're-transitioning' back to Laos after having 'transitioned' into Thailand to be with you in the first place.

And by the way ... who says this?:

" ... ohhh, you're gay?!? that's great, I know lots o(f) gay people, and you guys are just the nicest people!" or "this is Matt, my gay friend" ..."

I've been in Canada for 6 weeks now (to my chagrin) and have been introduced to many a new person: on the golf course, in the pub, in Starbucks, and absolutely yes, Tim Hortons. None have pronounced their greetings with such hoary old cliches. Yes, pure hogwash.

[cdnmatt]

Because believe it or not, as it turns out, the government are cunts. Who would have thought, eh?

They won't issue me a new passport, because my current passport has more than 12 months validity. Tried twice now, and failed both times. Will try one more time, and currently have Leo running arouns SE Asia gathering up the necessary documentation, as my father accidentally threw it all into the recycle bin.

Technically, I can still travel on my existing passport, but realistically, it's as useful as a coaster. More than likely, I can't even go to Mexico for a 4 day vacation, or even cross the US border for a 1 hour shopping trip with that passport.

If they deny the issuance of a new passport again, I'll just sue the federal government. I'll effectively be barred from leaving the country until next February, so fuck it, I'll have 9 months to kill, and nothing else to do. This is especially aggravating considering I've read reports on the internet of how people have had that 12 month validity rule relaxed for reasons such as they just wanted to sync their expiration date with their wife's passport.

If they don't issue me passport, they are effectively denying me passport services, which they are not allowed to do. I don't meet any of the criteria to be denied a passport (I read the law). They will effectively be banning me from leaving Canada, hence will be denying a disabled individual access to his caretaker, hence denying me quality of life.

I don't know, I'll try to get a new passport issued one more time, before I settle in for the fact I'm stuck in Canada until next February.

[Smiles]

" ... If they deny the issuance of a new passport again, I'll just sue the federal government ... "

Yep ... that should work like a charm.

[francois]

More than likely, I can't even go to Mexico for a 4 day vacation, or even cross the US border for a 1 hour shopping trip with that passport.

You poor chap!

[gerefan2]

Did you fly alone with Harbor Air. That must have taken some doing?

[cdnmatt]

Did you fly alone with Harbor Air. That must have taken some doing?

Yes, the staff there are excellent.

If you must know, my mother dropped me off at the terminal in Nanaimo, then the taxi driver from Hong Kong in Vancouver was nice enough to walk me all the way to the terminal on my way back. Once at the terminal, the Harbour Air staff take care of the rest, and again, were excellent.

[werner]

Because believe it or not, as it turns out, the government are cunts. Who would have thought, eh?

They won't issue me a new passport, because my current passport has more than 12 months validity. Tried twice now, and failed both times. Will try one more time, and currently have Leo running arouns SE Asia gathering up the necessary documentation, as my father accidentally threw it all into the recycle bin.

.

Why can't you just report that your passport has been lost or stolen? You could just accidentally on purpose misplace it.

Can't you get a new passport if the old one was lost or stolen??

[nordicguy]

I was living in BKK as an expat for three years, and returning to northern Europe was really hard I have to admit. When I think back, then it was easier to adapt to life in BKK than life in Denmark, but that's maybe because BKK was some sort of adventure for me.

The things that were really hard to adjust back to was of course the food (Thai food is the best food in Asia!) and the cold weather in Northern Europe. And of course the boys. In BKK, you are in some neighbourhoods surrounded by heavenly beautiful boys all the time who are friendly and interested talking to you. It's a kind of hard landing going back to Europe where all younger guys play hard to get and are plain arrogant often. Spoiled, you could say. Even though there is very often a strong element of sexual attraction between farangs and Thai boys (and money too some extent too), it's hard to overlook the genuine non-sexual and non-pecuniar aspects of this: The curiosity, hospitality and their deep-grounded respect that characterises the younger Thai guys (with many exceptions of course).

About the people at work, then I was actually kind of happy to back in a European workspace with more people to talk during the day about politics, (pocket)philosophy and culture and to make jokes with. The humour in northern Europe is very much based on irony and sarcasm, which Thai people don't get at all.

[werner]

I am Swiss. I have encountered some of the worst "reverse culture shock" when I bump into other Swiss people in Thailand or other parts of the world.

I am from the French-speaking part of Switzerland. When I meet Swiss from the German-speaking parts, there is always the question of what language should we speak.

Should I speak to them in French, even if their French is not very good? Should I try to speak to them in Swiss German, or should be try to speak in standard German?

Or should we just try to speak in English, which would be a neutral language....And these are people from my own supposedly multi-lingual country.....