Reverse Culture Shock?

[cdnmatt]

I'm sure many of you have experienced what I'm alluding to, I guess you'd call it "reverse culture shock". Have many of you experienced difficulties in transitioning back to your home countries/

There's some things I like, such as the fact English is spoken, which is quite handy. The calm and subdued culture around here is also quite nice in a way, as it helps allow you to plan for the future easier as everything is somewhat predictable. Then I also like the fact that everyone from taxi drivers to store clerks seem to doing alright in terms of standard of living.

Several things I don't like compared to Thailand though. One large contrast is everyone here is much more ingenuine, to the point people almost seem semi-comotosed. Nobody is really happy, sad, angry, excited, nothing -- everyone is just content and monotone. Everyone seems to put on this outside facade about how great they're doing, and it's as if everyone knows they're doing it, everyone realizes it's fucken retarded, and everyone continues to do it anyway. Whereas in Thailand, people are more themselves, and it's never really occurred to them how or why they'd put on some outside facade such as that.

Another thing I don't really like is how privacy is a #1 priority here, and is almost valued above as well. I understand it, but no longer agree with it, as it helps fuel the point I made above. I remember it took me years of living in Thailand to get over the fact I no longer really have any privacy, and to realize the benefits of it. For years I was somewhat agitated that people kept being nosey, asking me questions all the time, watching where I went, what I bought, what I did, etc. After a while though, I realized it's actually highly benefical, and they're not really being nosey at all. They're simply doing their small role to help contribute to the community by ensuring there's no problems or anything I need help with, ensuring everything is on the up and up, etc. At the same time I realized that any little quirks I may have are totally fine, and nobody actually cares. You're allowed to just be yourself, everyone is totally accepting of it, and as long as you're a good person with a good heart, that's all that really matters. No need to put on a show and hide your true self in Thailand, and no need to worry about the fact everyone in a 3km radius knows the general gist about you.

Another one is in Canada WHAT you are seems more important than WHO you are, whereas in Thailand it's the opposite. In Thailand you can be a complete prick, but as long as you're wealthy, you'll garner respect. Whereas in Thailand people wake up every morning, and seem to genuinely strive to be a good person, as who you are matters more there. For example, people in Canada will help you but because they feel moreso obligated to as it's "just the right thing to do", whereas in Thailand if someone helps you, it's because they genuinely want to help.

Another is where did the love and commpassion go in this society? It's gone, completely. One stark example was I ended up at a Tim Hortons in Vancouver around 4am, waiting for my 7:30am departure on Harbor Air. I checked out very early, and decided to make my way closer to the terminal to ensure I didn't miss my flight. There was a homeless guy wandering around asking for 50 cents, so I called him over, said I don't have any money, but feel free to order all the food / drink you want. He took me up on the offer, and the clerk proceeded to scold me for it, and I replied "What?!?! Everyone needs to eat!".

Since I was stuck waiting at Tim Hortons for about 2.5 hours, later the clerk proceeded to tell me I should never buy people like "that" food, because I guess he did things like lock himself in the bathroom and piss all over the floor, which she then had to clean up, etc. I sat back down, and all I could think was, "this type of scenario would never happen in Thailand". When people are down on their luck like that in Thailand, everyone chips in to help out. Whether it's a little money, or the small restaurant or market stall makes some food for them, or someone gets them a drink from 7/11, or whatever. The communal spirit of Thailand kicks in, those people get taken care of, hence never become so bitter that it causes problems such as this.

Oh, and one more I don't like is the socital stigmas that come with Canada. I remember at first I loved Thailand because telling a Thai your gay is about the same as telling them your favorite color is blue, whereas in Canada it's more along the lines of responses like, "ohhh, you're gay?!? that's great, I know lots og gay people, and you guys are just the nicest people!" or "this is Matt, my gay friend", and so on. Now that I'm blind though, that's went to a whole other level. Some people just naturally assume I must be unemployed and homeless, others say retarded shit like, "it's ok, your're already a winner in my eyes!". I don't even know what the fuck that means, but pretty sure it's disparaging. In Canada, people see a blind guy. In Thailand, people see a human being who just happens to be blind. Two totally different things

Anyway, long enough. How about you guys? And difficultues transitioning back to your home countries after so long in Asia?

[Smiles]

Why are you 'transitioning' to Canada in the first place? I thought you were just straitening out your passport problems so that could start 'transitioning' to Laos ... after you have 'un-transitioned' out of Thailand that is.
I assume that Kim and the dogs are pretty well over 're-transitioning' back to Laos after having 'transitioned' into Thailand to be with you in the first place.

And by the way ... who says this?:

" ... ohhh, you're gay?!? that's great, I know lots o(f) gay people, and you guys are just the nicest people!" or "this is Matt, my gay friend" ..."

I've been in Canada for 6 weeks now (to my chagrin) and have been introduced to many a new person: on the golf course, in the pub, in Starbucks, and absolutely yes, Tim Hortons. None have pronounced their greetings with such hoary old cliches. Yes, pure hogwash.

[cdnmatt]

Because believe it or not, as it turns out, the government are cunts. Who would have thought, eh?

They won't issue me a new passport, because my current passport has more than 12 months validity. Tried twice now, and failed both times. Will try one more time, and currently have Leo running arouns SE Asia gathering up the necessary documentation, as my father accidentally threw it all into the recycle bin.

Technically, I can still travel on my existing passport, but realistically, it's as useful as a coaster. More than likely, I can't even go to Mexico for a 4 day vacation, or even cross the US border for a 1 hour shopping trip with that passport.

If they deny the issuance of a new passport again, I'll just sue the federal government. I'll effectively be barred from leaving the country until next February, so fuck it, I'll have 9 months to kill, and nothing else to do. This is especially aggravating considering I've read reports on the internet of how people have had that 12 month validity rule relaxed for reasons such as they just wanted to sync their expiration date with their wife's passport.

If they don't issue me passport, they are effectively denying me passport services, which they are not allowed to do. I don't meet any of the criteria to be denied a passport (I read the law). They will effectively be banning me from leaving Canada, hence will be denying a disabled individual access to his caretaker, hence denying me quality of life.

I don't know, I'll try to get a new passport issued one more time, before I settle in for the fact I'm stuck in Canada until next February.

[francois]

More than likely, I can't even go to Mexico for a 4 day vacation, or even cross the US border for a 1 hour shopping trip with that passport.

You poor chap!

[gerefan2]

Did you fly alone with Harbor Air. That must have taken some doing?

[cdnmatt]

Did you fly alone with Harbor Air. That must have taken some doing?

Yes, the staff there are excellent.

If you must know, my mother dropped me off at the terminal in Nanaimo, then the taxi driver from Hong Kong in Vancouver was nice enough to walk me all the way to the terminal on my way back. Once at the terminal, the Harbour Air staff take care of the rest, and again, were excellent.

[werner]

Because believe it or not, as it turns out, the government are cunts. Who would have thought, eh?

They won't issue me a new passport, because my current passport has more than 12 months validity. Tried twice now, and failed both times. Will try one more time, and currently have Leo running arouns SE Asia gathering up the necessary documentation, as my father accidentally threw it all into the recycle bin.

.

Why can't you just report that your passport has been lost or stolen? You could just accidentally on purpose misplace it.

Can't you get a new passport if the old one was lost or stolen??

[cdnmatt]

Why can't you just report that your passport has been lost or stolen? You could just accidentally on purpose misplace it.

Can't you get a new passport if the old one was lost or stolen??

That is an option, but not one I'm willing to entertain at the moment. Simply because if I report a lost / stolen passport, it first has to go through a RCMP (police) investigation, which could take 2 or 3 months, before they're willing to issue a new passport.

Will try one last time politely, before shit hits the fan.

[werner]

That is an option, but not one I'm willing to entertain at the moment. Simply because if I report a lost / stolen passport, it first has to go through a RCMP (police) investigation, which could take 2 or 3 months, before they're willing to issue a new passport.

Will try one last time politely, before shit hits the fan.

Good heavens! It takes that long to replace a lost/stolen passport? I knew a Canadian whose passport was stolen in China. It seems that he had it replaced in a couple days, although he had to pay some outrageous fee. My passport was once stolen in Germany years ago. [I had left it in an unlocked drawer of my desk at work, and it was probably stolen by the night-time cleaning staff.] The ever efficient German police found it before I could even report the loss. Someone had evidentally tried to use it at the German border...

[cdnmatt]

Good heavens! It takes that long to replace a lost/stolen passport? I knew a Canadian whose passport was stolen in China. It seems that he had it replaced in a couple days, although he had to pay some outrageous fee. My passport was once stolen in Germany years ago. [I had left it in an unlocked drawer of my desk at work, and it was probably stolen by the night-time cleaning staff.] The ever efficient German police found it before I could even report the loss. Someone had evidentally tried to use it at the German border...

I don't know, I'm only going off what I've read on the internet. That, and I don't really want to push my luck, and give them an actual vvalid reason to deny me passport services.

First time I tried was in Victoria, and they just shrugged me off by saying "rules are rules". Didn't waste much time with them, as it was apparent they can only advise on what they think the decision will be, but don't have the authorization to make the actual decision. That happens in Vancouver.

So I came back home, read up on the law, and found out they can relax regulations such as this for compelling and compassionate reasons, so I gave that a shot. Wrote a two page letter explaining everything, included photographic evidence of genuine relationship, had both Leo and my mother write a letter, etc. Off to Vancouver I went alone (terrifying, as first time I've travelled blind alone), and they still said no. Reasons was they can't help me skirt the law, and trying to explain to them I'm not trying to skirt the law fell on deaf ears. In hindsight I fucked up by being too honest, and telling them I was refused entry at the Laos border in Nong Khai on a technicality. I should have lied, and said I was detained and deported upon trying to exit Thailand, and never made it to the Laos border.

Will try it one more time. This time, fuck the compassionate route, as I forgot that went out of society long ago. Will have the following:

1.) Letter from Laos immigration department in Vientiane stating I have no travel restrictions against me entering the country.
2.) Letter from Thai immigration stating that blacklist stamp is only for overstay, and not a criminal offense.
3.) Letter from Laos immigration lawyer stating I was refused only on a technicality (travelling via land border), and does not mean I'm blacklisted in any form.
4.) Letter from eye specialist in Khon Kaen vouching that Leo is indeed my caretaker.
5.) Letter from a Canadian doctor confirming that I am blind due to atrophic (sp) optic nerves.
6.) Copy of Thailand overstay laws.
7.) Letter from Canadian immigration lawyer stating whatever he/she deems necessary, but at the very least, the fact the law states that me having a 2 year limited validity passport is the only reason they need to grant my request, cancel the passport, and issue a new one.
8.) Letters from clients on company letterhead and signed stating I'm needed in Taiwan, Cyprus, and Israel.
9.) Personal letter from myself explaining everything. On top of being with my husband and caretaker, and visiting my clients, I also need to get to Hong Kong to incorporate, and Kuala Lumpur for dental surgery.
10.) Accounts of Canadians who have had this regulation relaxed for far less, such as wanting to sync their expiration date with their wife's passport.

And said Canadian immigration lawyer will be with me at the passport office next time I go. Then I don't know, but I may also search out a bunch of bitcoin conferences around the world coming up, and volunteer to be a speaker as well, showing even more need to be able to travel around the world. That's the best I can think of, because spending 9 months in Canada is going to be totally devastating for everyone -- myself, Leo, and my dogs.