Ex reached out after 4 months post break up.. need advices

[sweetlover1988]

Hey everyone!

Happy new year to everyone. Sorry for the bad grammar as english isnt my native language. Im writing here because i am wondering if someone can give me advices or been through what im going now. Me (Canadian, 28) was in a relationship with a Thai guy (19) that ended on December 23rd. We have met through mutual friends that are going to the same school (not in a commercial area) somewhere in the North. Our break-up was quite bad and alot of bad words and pushings were included. He basically told me to get out of his life and we havent spoke at all for 4 months beside asking him to give me back my stuffs and things like that.

The breakup was quite hard as we spent 7 months living together and being together day and night. 2 Months ago i reached out to his bestfriend and asked her if she think i should try to talk to him again in a few months and see how it goes. She told me that he told her that he doesnt want to talk to me never again, that he has a new guy and that hes not interested in meeting me never again. After that i accepted the fact that it was really over and i started to try to work harder on myself and gave up any hopes of maybe getting back together.

Then, 2 days ago, i login on my facebook to do some work late night and i have a friend request invitation from him (he used to block me from everywhere but for some reason he unblocked me from Facebook (not messenger)). This caught me really really offguard and i accepted him and he told me that he simply wanted to thanks me for everything i did for him and all the memories we had and blablabla. I absolutely had no idea on how to react and i find this very very weird for him to reach out after 4 months of no contact just to thanks me? Then i asked him why he reach out and he said because i made him want to learn french since im french canadian and he just wanted to thanks for me that.

This is extremely weird i dont understand why he did that? Im still not fully over the break-up and i dont want to open old wounds but i have to admit that i really would like if we could be able to discuss our past problems and get back together. Basically i wrote him that today telling him that i need time to heal before i can take contact with him again as im still hurt inside.

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First of all, thanks you for the kind words about me that you told my friend. I appreciate it. When i saw that you unblocked me and wanted to thanks me, i was quite in shock to be honest because i never expected to heard from you again. It felt great and im glad to see that youre doing well in your life.

But as for me, even though im doing great workwise and in life in general, i still do have feelings for you that hasnt faded completely yet and thats also one of the reason why i am not looking to get into a relationship with someone else right now.

Inside, i definitly would love to keep in touch with you but as of now, i am not ready yet because of what i still feel for you.

So with all that, I'd love that you respect my needs for my well-being and space. You can write to me in private on messenger if it's important or if you have anything more to tell me and ill be there na. If not, i hope we will be able to be friends once im able to totally move on from our relationship that we had.

Merci de ta comprehension et je te souhaite tout ce que tu desire
(This is your first french lesson!) haha :P
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Basically i would like your advices/opinions if possible about

1) Why do you guys think he reached back? Just to see if i have someone new and stalking or did he do that because he might genuinely miss me? im confused

2) Is my letter ok or does it sounds too direct?

Thanks you!!
Sawadee Pee Mai

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[Brad the Impala]

Dear Sweetlover,

Your letter is honest,open and sincere, and there is little room for misinterpretation, which is a positive in this circumstance.

As to why he got back in touch, you know him better than us, but I could guess that, with hindsight he realised that you had treated him well, and/or that he had treated you less well than you deserved. He was 19, we make a lot of mistakes then and sometimes can't see the wood for the trees and emotions run high.

However you should stick to your belief that it is best to let you recover from the breakup and move on to a different kind of relationship.

[sweetlover1988]

Dear Sweetlover,

Your letter is honest,open and sincere, and there is little room for misinterpretation, which is a positive in this circumstance.

As to why he got back in touch, you know him better than us, but I could guess that, with hindsight he realised that you had treated him well, and/or that he had treated you less well than you deserved. He was 19, we make a lot of mistakes then and sometimes can't see the wood for the trees and emotions run high.

However you should stick to your belief that it is best to let you recover from the breakup and move on to a different kind of relationship.

Thanks you Brad for your insight! Your answer is quite interesting as youre the first one that actually told me that. The other people ive asked think that its probably some kind of passive-agressive narcissist game and that he has moved on but just want to reach out to see how i actually.

Anyway, ill go no contact again and not engage in conversation with him. If he want to do it he can but ill keep focusing on myself. It just sucks that he had to reach out again after 4 months. :\