"And God alone knows what lonelywombat is going to make of this outrageous derailing of his topic ... "

You don't need a crazed wombat to take things off topic on this joint . . . doing so is "der rigg er" around here.
As for Jolly Jelly, I'll just stay with 'Mr Bean' ... only two syllables and more sophisticated.

In my mind's best guesstimate -- and I'm going far out of my way to be polite here -- he looks like this:

https://www.google.ca/search?q=mr+be...d502zLZvVMLjM: