Mentioning grumpy old men - which I've never, by the way, considered Smiles to be - makes me think that we perhaps need to be a little more careful when composing titles for the threads we initiate.

After all, I can easily imagine that unexpectedly catching sight of the words Criminal background checks at the head of the list of this board's threads might well precipitate a fatal heart attack for more than a few gentlemen of a certain age as they wake up in the morning in Sodom-by-the-Sea.