Your first real love

[joe552]

Care to tell us about the first guy you seriously loved? Mine was called Dave, and I was in my late 20s. We lived in a flat in Dublin with his cousin and the cousin's girlfriend. When I first met him, Dave told me he was bi, and when we lived together, he had regular sex with a woman Katja (the letting agent for our flat). I didn't see her as a threat - he was coming home to me every night. But one day he met another guy in a bookshop and they started a relationship. I was devastated but the final straw was when one evening I came home from work, and was told they were having sex in my bed.

I moved out shortly afterwards, but was obsessed with him. About a year later, I visited him in his new place (I've no idea how I found out where he lived - pre internet days). We were having a pleasant coffee when his new partner came home from work. He was gorgeous! My obsession faded quickly after that, although I still think of him today.

I feel better having told this story. Be nice in your replies - I'm feeling emotionally fragile right now.

[bobsaigon2]

I still think of my first Thai bf, what he could have been if magically transformed into what I was looking for. Though we broke up long, long ago, I am still in touch with him, could even, now that he has matured, envision sharing a platonic life with him.

But as the American author Thomas Wolfe said, “You Can’t Go Home Again.” For most of us, visiting the past is not especially helpful in dealing with the present or future.

At the end of the novel: "You can't go back home to your family, back home to your childhood ... back home to a young man's dreams of glory and of fame ... back home to places in the country, back home to the old forms and systems of things which once seemed everlasting but which are changing all the time – back home to the escapes of Time and Memory."

[cdnmatt]

My first love would have actually been my best childhood friend, and started at around age 11 when puberty first kicked in. I was infatuated with him, and we were inseperable. We'd hang out every night after school, sleep over at each other's house on the weekends, we'd always wrestle, go swimming together, etc. Unfortunately for me, he was also one of the straightest kids in our grade, and a bit of a "touch guy" personality. When we were 19 we even lived together for a while with his girlfriend.

My first gay love would have been my farang husband when I was 22. I was on my way to Vegas for a holiday, but stopped into Toronto for a night to visit a friend. My future husband was also there with one of his friends, and the four of us sat around drinking until about 6am. We stayed in e-mail contact for about the next 6 months discussing every other the sun in large 8 paragraph e-mails we'd send every 2 or 3 days.

One of his roomates was going back to Hungary, so he asked me to move in since he had a spare bedroom. I accepted, and off to Toronto I went. We still just remained as friends, but after a couple months my parents came to visit, so we gave them my room, meaning I was stuck sharing a bed with him. I remember we were laying in bed talking, he started to softly play with my hair, and I started to rub his arm. Next thing I knew, we were embracing and cuddling each other, and neither of us got a wink of sleep that night. First time I ever kissed another guy.

The next year was probably the single best year of my life. We moved out to the Rocky Mountaine, lived in a beautiful and brand new 2 storey condo, money was great, went skiing 2 or 3 times a week during the winter, loved each other to no end, and seemed like we had the world by the short and curlys. Then we moved to Budapest, and he decided he doesn't want to be gay anymore, because all of his childhood friends were homophobic. That was the beginning of the end. Took us about 3 years and multiple countries to seperate, but in hindsight it was inevitable. We're still good friends, and stay in touch via e-mail, and send each other a message every 2 or 3 weeks to check in, and give an update on our lives.

--------------------

Then there was Kim, but I wouldn't really call him a love. More of an infactuation and someone to fill the void of loneliness. Plus he absolutely loved sex, and was excellent at it, which was a bonus. Things were good for the first year until he hooked up with the wrong friends, then proceeded to plunge my life into a sea of misery and frustration.

After I broke up with Kim, I basically closed myself off to life and this world for a good while, and decided to settle in with just my dogs. From talking to others, seems like many gay people do the same. After a while though, I decided I'd like to have regular sex again, so bought a tablet, and hopped onto the apps. Founds a few giks, but nothing special. I don't really like sex without love, so most times I'd walk away from the encounter wishing I just made some popcorn and watched a movie at home instead.

A few months later this cute guy from Laos contacted me, and naturally, I first just assumed money boy looking for an off or similar. We chatted daily for about 8 months before we first met, have been living together since July 2016, and I could potentially see this one last forever. Who knows what the future holds though, but after 15 years of looking, I think I may have finally found what I was looking for -- someone to love and be loved back by forever.

Sorry, I know you only asked for the first love, but I was in a writing mood...

[joe552]

Thanks, bob and matt for your replies.

[christianpfc]

I never made it past the "enamored" stage. You have to consider that I have no interest in Whites, and came out at age 29, and all my experiences were with Thai and their neighbors, so there is this asymmetry in wealth and occupation - the boy I meet is living and working here, I'm here on holiday - which fucks everything up.

But whenever I found someone to be enamored with - there were 7 in 2017 - and think "I hope this continues" some incompatibilities come up.

[frequent]

You ... came out at age 29 ...

Some guys have never "come out"* but that doesn't stop them having sex with guys. I assume you mean you started having male-with-male sex at age 29

* "coming out" is merely the apology gay children believe they need to make to their parents for not giving them grandchildren. Heterosexual children don't "come out"

[christianpfc]

Both, telling other that I am gay and starting having gay sex at age 29.

My point that I missed the time where everything falls into place naturally (at least for heterosexual, who meet their partners at school, university or work; for homosexuals might be still a bit difficult but no problem with internet) and you date people of your own age and ethnicity, in your natural environment.

[frequent]

Both, telling other that I am gay and starting having gay sex at age 29.

My point that I missed the time where everything falls into place naturally (at least for heterosexual, who meet their partners at school, university or work; for homosexuals might be still a bit difficult but no problem with internet) and you date people of your own age and ethnicity, in your natural environment.

Sad that you believe that the heterosexual model is the "natural" one

[christianpfc]

With "natural environment" I mean that you date people of your own age and cultural background and same language, parallel to working or studying.

Whereas I go to Thailand for holiday, then I date people half my age, with cultural and language barriers (despite speaking the language, there remain barriers).

[frequent]

Whereas I go to Thailand for holiday, then I date people half my age, with cultural and language barriers (despite speaking the language, there remain barriers).

I don't bother with the culture (the one I can sometimes find is under the foreskin), nor the language (conversation is difficult with a cock in your mouth) and I don't bother with a date, too time-consuming, I go for a fuck without any hesitation. Besides, having read your blog I don't believe you "date" them either, since almost every encounter you report involves you paying them money or them asking for money, so if you think you "date" them you're as deluded as your fellow moderators