Royal House massage pattaya

[Moses]

Are they not on Grindr?

Who uses Grindr in Thailand nowadays? Blued!

Look at the pictures - distances: there are 100+ boys online just in radius of 1 km.

Bangkok, my location at time of taking the screenshot was near Chong Nonsi BTS:
Blued Bangkok.jpg



Pattaya (my location was near Dongtan beach):
Blued Pattaya.jpg

[arsenal]

Blued is a seriously good app. Excellent translation and you can choose to send photos that automatically delete after 5 seconds. Very useful if you're an elderly old guy from a harsh climate and a diet of deep fried everything.

[scottish-guy]

Out of that lot I think there's 1 that'd I'd class as attractive

[gerefan2]

Out of that lot I think there's 1 that'd I'd class as attractive

IMHO the standard this year in Pattaya and Jomtien is at an all time low.

[scottish-guy]

IMHO the standard this year in Pattaya and Jomtien is at an all time low.

Are you referring to boys or the punters

[arsenal]

I have to agree with Gerefan. There were very few new boys. IIn Boyztown the building work definitely had a detrimental effect so with few customers many of the boys left.

[sglad]

IMHO the standard this year in Pattaya and Jomtien is at an all time low.

I thought the standard of farangs in Pattaya have always been low - how much lower can they go?

[Jellybean]

To paraphrase Bette Davis, I can't believe I chose this crappy massage joint for my first massage in Pattaya. What a dump!

Actually, it was no worse than many such places I have visited; I just couldn’t resist the introductory first paragraph.

There were around 10-15 very manly guys available, thankfully, not a skinny effeminate guy in sight. I think the description of 'escapees from a juvenile detention centre' by a447 very suitably sums them up. But had I not visited a truly scary massage joint in Bangkok the previous week, where nearly all of the masseurs could be accurately described as ‘old lags’, Category ‘A’, high risk, cut throats if detained in Her Majesty’s Prisons in the UK, I might have been put off. But with that experience under my belt, the Royal House masseurs were sweet Mummy’s boys in comparison, trust me!

I didn't even get a good look at most of them. This may seem odd, but I find it very awkward staring and sizing up the guys in these type of situations. A two-way mirror would have spared my blushes, but no such luck. That's the advantage of being in a go-go bar; I don't feel as pressurised, unless, of course, I'm the only customer in the bar.

A cute tattooed lad quickly attracted my attention and the selection process was settled speedily. I chose an oil massage at a cost of 400 Baht.

And, FarangRuMak, the papasan also whispered in my ear, he said something along the following lines: “Psssssst . . . hey Mister, 500 Baht tip to boy for massage, or 1,000 Baht for sex. OK?” To which I replied, “Er . . . yes, OK.”

Upstairs, after using the toilet, I went to wash my hands, but discovered the wash hand basin in the toilet had no running water. Even if it had, there was no plumbing under the sink so the water would have spilled out on to the floor. Interesting!

My masseur escorted me to the shower stall. Hmmm . . . there was no soap or shampoo in the shower. Just as well I had showered before I left my hotel.

My chosen boy showered in the stall next to me. But dear God, he gave a very good impression of being a consumptive, given the amount of hawking and spitting up of phlegm I heard. Yuck! It almost, but didn’t quite put me off my massage.

There was no relaxing background music, which I occasionally enjoy, as it helps me unwind and enjoy the first part of the massage. The masseur had nice soft hands and, much to my relief, performed his task naked. When he got up on to the table from behind me, I could feel his dingly-dangly bits brushing against my legs, which, dear reader, I’ll admit to being a very pleasant sensation.

Overall, the massage was very good, I thoroughly enjoyed it. However, when I turned over and first of all felt, then saw his manhood; I was deeply disappointed to find it had been enhanced. I’m sure I have encountered this before; I just can’t remember the last time. I'm sure I would have been happily satisfied with the appendage nature had given the lad, but he clearly was not. If I say it looked like a sausage wrapped in a hot dog bun, I think you will have a fairly accurate picture of what it looked like.

Up until that moment I was planning on having a repeat session with him, but now, probably not. To compensate for the damage he had done to his under-carriage, he, thankfully, made up for it on his rear, which was gloriously hairy. But it took some persistence to get him to open his butt cheeks, each time I touched his ass he would cry out, “ják-gà-jii . . . ják-gà-jii” (It’s ticklish! It’s ticklish!). But I was resolute in my determination and he soon became desensitised, or at least stopped crying out, and the both of us had a very happy ending.

He asked to see me again, so all must have gone well. I tipped him 1,100 Baht, but cannot decide whether I want to see him again. He again asked if I would return, I did not give him an emphatic reassurance and simply replied, “àat-jà kráp” (maybe).

The trouble is, when I visited the massage parlour, I was the only customer. If I return and find yet again I am the only customer, I shall no doubt find myself in a bit of a quandary. Should I really ignore him, well apart from a gentle nod of the head in recognition, and choose another masseur? But what if the other masseur is a dud? This is the risk we, cultural exchange ambassadors, take, whenever we enter a massage parlour or go-go bar.

Oh! Decisions, decisions!

[arsenal]

A more blatant attempt to purloin the coveted position of SGT Cultural Attache to Pattaya its impossible.to imagine. Nice report Jelybean. However applications for for job are still being sought from suitably qualified candidates.

[a447]

Well, I think I'd be eminently suitable for the esteemed position, as I promise I'd be totally hands-on.