WTF in Jomtien Complex

[Blacktouch]

Surely they are not that stupid.

If they are, well then it's really sad. But I guess it's their money so up to them.

So anybody who has been in or is in this situation, maybe they can highlight us on what they get from this?

[arsenal]

They get to use the phrase "my boyfriend" The illusion works for some I suppose.

[AsDaRa]

Looks to me - reading this thread - most forum members do not support financially a Thai boy.
So maybe I must adjust my expectation that most nice boys in Pattaya are supported by a Farang. It appears to be less than I expected. Or the forum members are not a representative sample of the Farang visiting Thailand.

[a447]

Time is a great teacher, as they say.

I'm certain I've been "had" a number of times over the years, especially when I first started visiting. Back in the early 2000's I was tipping 3000 baht for short time. It's what the boy asked for and so I paid it, thinking it was the going rate. No wonder he would rush up to me every night with a "So happy to see you!". I bet he was! LOL

But I don't consider that to be a scam. He was just trying his luck with a newbie. It was partly my fault because I told him it was my first visit and I guess he took advantage of that. The situation continued over a number of visits.

But no harm done. Good luck to him. I may have tried it on, too, if I were in his position. Capitalism at work.

I've also found that some boys lie to their friends (fancy that!) regarding the sending of money by farang. Perhaps it raises their status in the bar; who knows?

One of my regulars in Pattaya told me that another guy I saw on a regular basis (I'll call him B) said I was sending him 15000 baht every month. Of course, I wasn't. So not wanting B to lose face I just said he must have confused me with another customer and made it very clear that noone would be getting a single baht from me once I'd gone home - emergencies excepted.

I expect people to work for their money; noone has ever just handed out money to me without getting something in return. You hand out money once, word spreads quickly and suddenly you find yourself inundated with requests. Everybody suddenly has a sick mother or a family member who has had some kind of accident.

If you make your intentions clear from the start - I can be generous when I feel like it, but don't treat me like a charity - you won't have any problems.

Obviously, others think differently and are willing to send money on a regular basis.

It's their money and they can spend it however they want.

[scottish-guy]

For a practice (sending regular sums to Thai boys) which several members have declared is "up to you", the same members just can't resist passing judgement on it eh?

My own take on this is that what other people want to do with their own money is entirely a matter for them and nothing for me to pontificate on. If sending 1500B or 15000B or even 150,000B a month to a particular Thai boy is affordable to a farang and something they want to do as a way of helping someone (as they'll undoubtedly see it) - then who am I to criticise that or even make snide remarks about the nature of the relationship between the Thai boy and his sponsor?

If, on the other hand, an elderly guy (say in his mid 70's) wishes his whole life to revolve around paying a different prostitute for sex every night (and sometimes right after a cheap lunch) then that's just dandy as well - but don't try to pass it off as a virtue or something that decent people should aspire to.

[a447]

and sometimes right after a cheap lunch

Sex right after eating? No thanks!

Before eating is fine. Plus the occasional post-coital ciggie.

[arsenal]

I've yet to hear one case where the lonely farang sending monthly cheques to his 'boyfriend' successfully stood the test of time. Still, it's his money and he can send it to whoever he wants to. But when the money stops so does the 'love'.

[francois]

I've yet to hear one case where the lonely farang sending monthly cheques to his 'boyfriend' successfully stood the test of time. Still, it's his money and he can send it to whoever he wants to. But when the money stops so does the 'love'.

You are being judgemental, arsenal. What makes you think the farang is lonely?
Personal experience or what?
My relationship with my Thai bf has extended over 18 years during which time I did support him when I was not in Thailand. As time went on my visits to Thailand became longer and longer or more frequent until I now live here full. time.
You and the other butterflies can lead your life as you please but don't be so judgemental as to how others wish to lead their lives.

Furthermore in regards to this statement from a poster:

Surely they are not that stupid.

If they are, well then it's really sad. But I guess it's their money so up to them.


Please save your pity for someone else that needs it.

[arsenal]

First meatloaf and now Asian 'boyfriends'. Any other subjects you want to curtail Francois? These relationships are not partnerships of equals.

And on a personal level it does seem that having an Asian 'boyfriend' does make one more prone to tetchiness.

[a447]

Furthermore in regards to this statement from a poster:

Surely they are not that stupid.

If they are, well then it's really sad. But I guess it's their money so up to them.


Please save your pity for someone else that needs it.

I'm not offering my "pity" to anyone here.

You've been around Thailand longer than me. If I, as a visitor, have heard horror stories first hand and have watched numerous documentaries aired this year in Australia, then you would know about these people, too. They do actually exist, you know.

Anyone who allows himself to be sweet-talked into believing a total stranger in a foreign land loves him unconditionally and so decided to send him money each month is, imho, stupid.

This came out time and time again in the documentary series when the guys, (none of whom could be considered old), who had bad experiences said basically the same thing : I believed her when she told me she loved me. She was fucking around while I was away. I was stupid." They only listened to their dicks.

That's straight from the horses' mouths. Somehow I think they'd know.

They were stupid also for not doing their research before entering into a relationship which involved monetary support of the partner - just as I was stupid for nor researching the going rate for tips in Thailand and found myself paying three times the going rate.

Others - and these are the guys I reserve my pity for - are lonely old guys desperate for love and seeking companionship in their old age. They are unable to think rationally and rush into things. (A bit like those people who are ripped off by Nigerian scammers offering lonely people their "love" - at a hefty price.) They are emotionally vulnerable and unwittingly allow unscrupulous people to take advantage of them. They are ones who should be pitied.

I have never suggested that you, francois, (or any other board member for that matter) are any of those people above.