Just the tyranny of uninformed ModeratorsOriginally Posted by arsenal
Just the tyranny of uninformed Moderators
joe552 (December 27th, 2017)
Anyway, back on topic. One good thing about your partner leaving for a while is the constant chaos stops. The calm is quite nice, although I'd prefer the chaos to be honest.
And since this thread is already derailed, alzheimers isn't life threatening, is it? It's just a degenerative brain disease that makes you senile and forgetful, right? That's fine, she can come live with us, help take care of the kids, tend to her garden, watch some Thai soaps, etc.
Maybe we'll microchip her. "Kids! Your grandma isn't back yet, so she's probably lost again. Can you login, and get her GPS coordinates, so we can pick her up?", haha. Sorry, cruel joke.
joe552 (December 27th, 2017)
I rather like the idea of a microchip Matt. I looked after my mother with dementia for a few years before she went into a nursing home. It was challenging,, and exhausting at times, but I would't have it any other way. She mainly just watched TV. And I took her to Mass every day. She was very happy with that. The nursing home had a small chapel and daily Mass. That helped ease her into her new life there.
Hitchhiking's more of a challenge on the road less travelled.
Matt, just a word of caution about having her come live with you. People with dementia need familiarity - their own possessions around them. They know where the bathroom is, for instance. So I'd be reluctant to take her away from her family and familiar surroundings. Instead, maybe consider employing a carer (part time) with experience of dementia?
Hitchhiking's more of a challenge on the road less travelled.
My thoughts precisely - living with and caring for someone with dementia is very difficult on the carers too - but I'm not sure that Laos would have experienced resources anyway. Bangkok does
joe552 (December 27th, 2017)
Matt, "a pretty strong base of support and care"? It would be totally on Leo's shoulders. Try to picture the burdens in Leo's daily life if he had to care for a mother with dementia, two young nephews and a blind partner who is not fluent in Lao and is useless in providing any kind of support and care. That would be enough to make him head for the nearest wat to resume his monastic life.
joe552 (December 27th, 2017)
What? It's hardly all on his shoulders. You think taking care of a family of 5 (Leo, myself, 2 kids, an elderly grandma) and two dogs is going to be cheap? Someone will need to ensure that money shows up in the bank account, and that would be me. I'm sure I'll also end up being the cook in the family, so I'll be the one cooking every breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
The kids won't be useless. They'll help clean the floor, do the dishes, laundry, take care of Leo's mom, etc.
Yeah, Leo will have a decent amount on his shoulders, but so will I, and so will the kids. That's life.
The gury is still out on the mother anyway. She's in a hospital right now learning how to walk again, then will go back to her village. Then the family has a decision to make, and not up to me. She's going to need care though, so I just made sure Leo knows I'm happy to step up to the plate if needed.
...or demand a script re-write! Too soon to be written off the show!
True. OK, keep Leo, mom, nephews, dogs in the picture. After a couple of months, it’s Matt who decides he can no longer cope with the domestic chaos and decamps to his neighborhood Wat, dons an orange robe, and starts to learn how to chant in Pali and study sutras (don’t know if they’re available in Braille or screen reader format). That way we’d get insight into the daily life of a foreign monk in Laos, and, with Leo stopping by the Wat to report to Matt every day, we’d stay in touch with the activities of the household. Could be good.
Her new husband (Leo's step father) didn't even visit her in the hospital, so he's obviously totally fucken useless.
You want me to go hire nurses to go live with her in her village? Yeah... no. And we're not putting her in a home, because Asian families just don't do that. They take care of each other.
I guess one of Leo's sisters owns a hotel somwehere, so maybe she'll step up and take her in. I don't know, not up to me. I just made sure Leo knows she's more than welcome to come live with us, because she'll no longer be able to take care of herself, and her husband is obviously useless. There will be Leo, myself, and two kids, so that's a pretty strong base of support and care.
I don't know, up to the family, not me. I just made sure Leo knows the door is open, and I'm happy to take her in.
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