Sleeping in the villages...

[joe552]

Smiles, that was an awesome story and probably one of the best things I've read on the internet. Must have taken hours.

Thanks so much for an interesting and informative report on Thai life.

[Dalewood]

I will start another thread as Matt's threads get derailed so badly.

I just returned from my last Pattaya trip and I stayed with the same guy the whole time. I had met him on my prior trip. There is a fair chance that this is THE guy.

On my next trip, he definitely wants to take me to his home place somewhere in the wilds north of Ayutthaya. He has long been "out" to his family, but as silly as it may sound, I am a bit nervous about how I will be received by the kinfolk. They have seen me as he has introduced me to some of them by picture phone. He is in his mid-thirties so there are no "robbing the cradle" issues. They seem to be a relatively prosperous farm family, apparently growing bananas and chili peppers for the most part. One family home is quite modern but the other is more typical rural Thai. His parents died early and he was raised by the extended family.

Did any of you have these feelings, especially on the first trip? As someone else mentioned, would it be rude to stay in the nearest town? I can handle the water barrel shower, but three days of a bombsight toilet and no English language TV---I am not so sure..... (No, I am not a Vanderbilt or a Rockefeller);

I think I would be much more comfortable if they were a Bangkok family.

[cdnmatt]

One thing I can suggest is if you're staying at a hotel, ensure you guys have secured your own transpartation. Whether your BF has a motorbike or car in the village, or can borrow from family / friends, or you rent, or whatever. Public transport stops everywhere around 6pm, so if you stay in the village past 6pm and don't have your own transportation, you'll be SOL for getting to your hotel.

As for how you will be received, all depends on them. Make sure to show up with a small food gift. Just ask your BF what the family likes. Ants were a favorite of Kim's family.

Don't worry about the fact you're a gay couple, as I have yet to experience that being even a minor issue in Thailand.

Then it all depends on them. For example, Kim's mother and step-father were great, very welcoming, kind, courteous, accomodating, and no issues at all with them. However, his father (different village) was more of a "tough guy farmer" type, and so were his friends and neighbors. He most likely viewed me as some lazy, no good, weak farang who doesn't know a hard day's work. For the most part, we just totally ignored each other, and generally got along fine. Only exception to this was when in the village, his friends were around, and the alcohol was flowing. Then they basically talked shit about me right in front of me. I don't know exactly what was said as I don't speak Laos, but it was pretty obviously about me, and wasn't exactly complimentary.

All in all, wouldn't worry about it, I'm sure it's definitely worth the trip, and hope you have a great time.

[joe552]

I only visited one guy;s home village in Si Saket. There's no way I could have stayed there. I stayed in cheap local hotels, and they would come and pick me up every morning for that days tour to wherever. I don't believe it was seen as disrespectful.

[kkjason]

When I first went to see the family about 10 years ago, we did stay in a hotel. I do not feel that we were seen rude in the least. On subsequent trips, we did stay ini the family home where everyone slept on the floor with sheets hung up to separate each couple into their own little bedroom. There was me and my boyfriend, a sheet, his sister and her husband, then mom and dad, and then my bf's niece and her girlfriend. Do the math - that is 2 straight couples and 2 gay couples - how is that for a progressive family!

Seriously though - I think it is perfectly normal for your first trip to the village to be spent in the hotel. Remember - the family doesn't know you either. Inside, they will probably be relieved that you aren't staying there, as they will not know exactly what you need to be comfortable. Once you are all comfortable with each other, then you can stay there and everyone will be much happier. If you are going to stay at the family home, from now until mid-February is certainly the time to do it. The weather is nice at night and the bugs are minimized. Go any other time of the year and you are not likely to be a happy camper.

Report back and let us know how it goes - Treat it as an adventure - you are sure to have a great time.

Cheers,

Jason

[Smiles]

but it was pretty obviously about me, and wasn't exactly complimentary.

Surely you are used to that by now ... to wit: hanging out as easy bait on this Board.
I'm surprised you're so sensitive.

[gerefan2]

As an aside I went to BFs village two years ago. We went over New Years Eve and had to wait days to get a bus or train back. All full....HUGE mistake.
I avoided it last year.
He now wants me to go again this year and I am determined not to.
Will it be a black mark?

[Nirish guy]

Surely as Thai new year ISN'T OUR new year you'd have valid reason to say bollox to that and suggest you both stay in patts etc as you could of course go back home then ANYTIME and it doesn't have to be what is a random date of 31st December ( to him) ?

[justaguy]

For crying out loud, what is the problem sleeping in some village ? You guys need to grow a pair.

[joe552]

justaguy, as you'e described your own experience so well and in such detail, although I'm struggling to locate that actual post, I bow to your superior experience.