Must be a bitch when you've asked for a tin of chicken soup !Originally Posted by cdnmatt
I just tell my phone something like, "search for images of asparagus", then show my phone to Leo / clerk, wait for something to get put into my hands, and feel it out to see if that's what I want or not.
No, Leo knows English well enough to handle that. Many times I have to spell it out to him, but he gets it.
Then at home, I can easily distinguish a can of chicken soup, because it's very liquidy, so only need to shake the cans. You're right though, can't distinguish between a can of mushroom or tomato soup, hence why in the cupboard mushroom is on the right, and tomato is on the left.
Other small things like that, such as Lays chips / crips (for you UK folk). I've opened two bags already, and both were plain, so I'm guessing the other 4 bags in there are plain too. Damnit Leo! You know not to get me all plain Lays, and get me different flavors -- sour cream & onion, BBQ, etc. Oh well, it's one of the many things you just learn to let slide when you're blind. No real choice, because otherwise you'd be angry 24x7, and that's not helpful for anything.
1. I agree with Smiles. Asian culture is different to the West. It is based more on "face" (social embarrassment??) than respect.
2. My Thai bf is of similar mind-set. He sniff kisses but he doesn't like French kisses. He is always showing his love - often at the most inappropriate moments - holding hands, hugging my arm, etc. Some sex practices are "dirty" by definition even though he loves having them done to him - sucking his fingers or toes, rimming, etc.
I explained what I was reading here and asked him about his family life - he has never been hugged or kissed by mother, father or other close relatives. From my viewpoint, he has been emotionally deprived all his life. Yet, having known his mother and other relatives, I can see that is loved by them and loves them in return.
Over my years, I have been close-in to other Thai and Asian families and have seen the arms-length familial relationships. And I sort-of understand them because I come from a family where Mum might occasionally accept a kiss on the cheek but hugging not-so-much - Dad didn't do hugs, just shake hands. Generally, I don't think this is the norm either - I think modern Western families are more huggy and kissy especially as we are in an era where huggy and kissy-kissy has become common socially. Go back 40-50 years and consider if man-hugs would have been acceptable.
I guess that societies can be different from one another and that social norms can vary over time. So it is very hard to understand the "rules" of societies or families because they vary so much, in location and time.
[i][color=#0000FF]"One day our descendants will think it incredible that we paid so much attention to things like the amount of melanin in our skin, or the shape of our eyes, or our gender, instead of the unique identities of each of us as complex human beings."
~ Franklin Thomas[/color][/i]
Yeah, I understand WHAT the cultural norms / rules are, but don't quite understand WHY. There must be a reasoning behind this, because it's not just one or two families we're talking about, but is a cultural norm.
Reason for the thread is because Leo and myself were laying in bed a while back, and the topic of taking his nephews in came up again. He asked me, "so are they allowed to see us hug?". My initial reaction was, of course they can! Nothing sexual of course. I'll be cutting veggies for dinner, and he'll come up from behind, put his arms around me, and say he loves me. I'll do the same to him while he's at his computer, etc.
My mindset is, if those kids are living with us, then they're going to see every night comfortably and at peace knowing they live in a loving household. That's far better than living in a household where the parents are yelling and screaming at each other all the time, that's for sure.
Then I got to second guessing myself, becuase I know full well that's not how SE Asian families work at all. Parents don't even show affection for each other in front of their kids, let alone actually show affection towards their kids. I thought maybe there's something I'm missing, but apparently nobody knows the WHY either.
Tintin (November 14th, 2017)
This is a really interesting topic. Yraen, you make a lot of sense. When I was growing up in the 60s/70s, hugging within the family wasn't common. Now it's de reguire. (that's your actual French but probably spelled wrong). Now it's everywhere, and I don't feel comfortable with it.
Matt, I've no experience of Asian culture (beyond the bars) so can't help in that regard.
Hitchhiking's more of a challenge on the road less travelled.
When I go grocery shopping (once a week) if I can't find a particular item, I ask a member of staff.
U2 had a big hit with supermarket shoppers everywhere with their song "I still haven't found what I'm looking for"
When I was a college student in Sunderland (stop sniggering at the back) I worked as a shelf stacker in Asda. Their thing was that if a customer asked you where the canllini beans were, you didn't just say, oh 2 ai;s;es on the left. You actually walked with the customer to where that iitem was/
Last edited by joe552; November 14th, 2017 at 14:38.
Hitchhiking's more of a challenge on the road less travelled.
de rigueur, but good try.
joe552 (November 14th, 2017)
Speaking of grammar, I believe the title of this post, "Why doesn't SE Asian families hug" should properly be "why don't SE Asian families hug".
Where is Christian when you need him?
Who needs Christian? Joe made the correction in post number 2.
joe552 (November 14th, 2017)
here to serve. And Moses has agreed to cover all reasonable expenses for my trip
Hitchhiking's more of a challenge on the road less travelled.
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