Why doesn't (poor?) SE Asian families hug?

[snotface]

All of this appears to be perfect material for someone's D Phil dissertation. Looking forward to that.

Rest assured, many have been written already on this subject, usually in excruciating 'sociologese' language. The main point, in plain English, is that Western societies tend to be individualistic (self-expression, let it all hang out, all about I) and Asian ones collective (group and family cohesion, all about We). In the West if an individual does something wrong he brings shame principally on himself; in Asia he brings shame on his whole group or family. As a result Asian children are brought up learning to suppress emotion as a matter of course, the consequences of shameful acts being so dire. The concept of face, maintaining it and not losing it, is what is important. So any show of emotion, even something as positive as affection for another, is seen as somewhat suspect, with the possibility of being interpreted as weakness or lack of control. It all seems excessive to us, including me, but I can at any rate appreciate the counter-argument that such behaviour helps to keep society functioning on a relatively even keel.

[Dalewood]

Dont YOU start too ! One twat on the board doing that is QUITE enough I think.

That is twit

[bobsaigon2]

Really? That hasn't been my experience

We're talking about different age groups. When you first said Asian "kids" were better behaved, I interpreted that as say, up to 10 years and you must admit that these younger kids in Asia are ones you see at restaurants, coffee shops, supermarket aisles running rampant, shouting and screaming, while their parents are clearly in attendance.

As teenagers, they develop a certain amount of public awareness and decorum, but until then, they are often insufferable.

[cdnmatt]

I don't know, I'll still have to agree to disagree on this one. Maybe things are different in Vietnam, but I haven't noticed that type of behaviour up here at least. I don't ever witness kids rolling cans of concentrated orange juice down the aisle, knocking shit off the shelves just for fun, throwing trantrums in the checkout line, etc. I've seen all that in the West though.

Sure, I've seen kids just being kids, but well... they're kids, that's what they're supposed to do. They're still just exploring the world, and checking everything out, so they're allowed some leeway. I don't think I've ever witnessed something I'd define as bad behaviour though.

Inquisitive? Sure> Bad? Not really. Again, maybe things are different in Vietnam.

[snotface]

With young kids it's mainly a class thing in my experience. The kids from Thailand's rising middle class sometimes misbehave in public, those from poor families not so much. My bugbear is the young kids of Indian middle-class parents that I see in Indian restaurants in Thailand. Spoilt rotten, they run screaming around the room while the parents look on helpless and clueless. One exception was a young Indian boy who ran into a closed glass door. He returned to his seat at the table without a whimper. I suspect concussion accounted for his behaviour.

[Tintin]

Why don't Asian families hug? Or shouldn't the question rather be: Why do American families think they have to hug and kiss each other all the time? In the sense of: Meaningfully hugging and kissing, not casually as in southern Europe or Latin America?

Is it their feeling of forlornness and uncertainty? Or is it an expression of modern political correctness? Or did they just watch too many Hollywood movies? THAT would be the questions worth to research.

[bobsaigon2]

I don't know, I'll still have to agree to disagree on this one. Maybe things are different in Vietnam, but I haven't noticed that type of behaviour up here at least. I don't ever witness kids rolling cans of concentrated orange juice down the aisle, knocking shit off the shelves just for fun, throwing trantrums in the checkout line, etc. I've seen all that in the West though.

Sure, I've seen kids just being kids, but well... they're kids, that's what they're supposed to do. They're still just exploring the world, and checking everything out, so they're allowed some leeway. I don't think I've ever witnessed something I'd define as bad behaviour though.

Inquisitive? Sure> Bad? Not really. Again, maybe things are different in Vietnam.

We are still not talking about the same thing. I'm referring to Asian kids 10 and under whose parents allow them to run wild in public spaces: restaurants, coffee shops, supermarkets. That meets my definition of bad behavior.

In contrast, you bring up juvenile delinquents in Canada. Hardly the same thing.

[cdnmatt]

Why don't Asian families hug? Or shouldn't the question rather be: Why do American families think they have to hug and kiss each other all the time? In the sense of: Meaningfully hugging and kissing, not casually as in southern Europe or Latin America?

Is it their feeling of forlornness and uncertainty? Or is it an expression of modern political correctness? Or did they just watch too many Hollywood movies? THAT would be the questions worth to research.

Huh? I guess I don't know too much about mainland Europe, but did live in the UK for an year, and parents there are just as affectionate as North America. On the streets you'd see things like fathers give this kids a quick "shoulder hug", and things of that nature. That type of thing is pretty much off limits in SE Asia.

[Nirish guy]

Maybe that's an example of his weekend posting?

You may well be bang on re that as for a change I WAS actually sitting at home at a computer, rather than in a car park or something usually waiting on my BF so logging on for a minute to having a quick read / post on my phone etc, which is more usually why my posts get the scant attention by me that they deserve when posting to some internet message board.

[Nirish guy]

That is twit

Nope, I'm fairly sure I meant TWAT (it's slang for a women genitalia.)