Why doesn't (poor?) SE Asian families hug?

[cdnmatt]

This one I haven't quite figured out yet, and maybe someone can provide some insight. Wht doesn't parents here hug their kids, and tell them they love them? In the West it's viewed as very important to hug your kids and tell them you love them, where that doesn't really exist out here. At least not out in the villages. I guess wealthy gamilies may behave differently, but I doubt it.

I'm not talking about one or two isolated cases, but it seems to be pretty much everyone. Just ask any of the guys you know what their childhood was like, and I bet you get basically the same story. From my perspective at least, this is an important aspect of an upbringing, and helps a child grow in a healthy, strong, well balanced adult.

Any insight into this family behavior? Do you view it as positive or negative?

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[joe552]

It's don't. not doesn't.

Signed, your friendly local language police

[sglad]

It's don't. not doesn't.

Signed, your friendly local language police

Were you deputised by the android? I take it he's gone off for the weekend.

[Nirish guy]

It's don't. not doesn't.

Signed, your friendly local language police

Dont YOU start too ! One twat on the board doing that is QUITE enough I think.

[Oliver]

It's not just hugging. A few years ago, I discussed kissing with my boyfriend. He's very close to his parents and so I was surprised when he said he never kissed his mother. I have no explanation, and nor did he. It just "wasn't done." He certainly "wais" both of them.

[Nirish guy]

Why just because some families are tactile do they consider that it's important that every other family is. I have friends who can't leave their friends without a round of "ok, see you later, love you, hug kiss" etc etc - personally I just see that as needy insecure bullshit as the very same friends a month later will be telling what a cunt "x" is, only to then be hugging and kissing them a month later after that again - hence my view of it's all just bullshit.

Speaking personally my family aren't at all tactile and my parents were fairly much of the Victorian mind set of it's crass to "show emotion" and always show a "stiff upper lip" etc and in fact the only time my father hugged me was on the day of his own fathers funeral. Did this mean they / he loved me any less than someone who's parent's either felt the need or some child who felt the need for their love to be constantly reinforced. I don't think so.

As an aside to the above I actually had this conversation with my mother a while back and expressed the opinion that we were perhaps TOO "cold" on that topic as I grew up and so I purposefully give her a kiss on the cheek each time I leave her house now, but that's more as she's in her 80"s and you just never know will it be the last time etc - for the record I'm fairly sure my mother hates it but simply humours my somewhat weak and needy request ( as she would see it.) - Does my kiss mean I love my mother more or less than anyone else than if she didn't get it, no of course not - we're all different and just because something is usual is one family doesn't automatically mean it has to be in ALL families. The world would be a very boring place if we were all the same.

[joe552]

I totally agree with you NIirish. I'm not a huggy person, but the rest of my family seem to be, so I go along with it. I think the only time it's necessary among family is at a funeral. When I visit siblings at 'Christmas, for example, their offspring know I don't do hugs. What's even worse is that my sister expects a kiss on the lips when we say goodbye. I hate it, but go along with it.

Regarding my part-time membership of the spelling and grammar police, I think certain basic standards need to be upheld, otherwise chaos reins.

[MiniMee]

I think certain basic standards need to be upheld, otherwise chaos reins.

You mean ......chaos reigns

[cdnmatt]

Regarding my part-time membership of the spelling and grammar police, I think certain basic standards need to be upheld, otherwise chaos reins.

Settle down Joe, it's not the end of the world. I'm fairly confident the sun will continue to rise each morning.

It's part and parcel of being blind, as you have to learn how to visualize everything in your head. Obviously, if I could see the screen as I was typing, I would have known that doesn't look right, and wouldn't have made that error.

[Smiles]

You mean ......chaos reigns

Yep ... a slypri slowp it is being bothered with spelling screwups on a message board.
Hmmmm, seems like just yesterday that a few Mods here were into that. But the 10 Commandments came down from the mountain, angry, to smyte them, and rain them in.

Christian!!!!! where art thou? I need a hug!