Work VISA for Laos citizen

[bobsaigon2]

As Latin said, "so do your good deed for the day and throw some cash at him...or NOT". But you seem to have mixed feelings. You know he doesn't want to see you again but you know it was you who got him kicked out of his home. Most people would feel a little guilty about that.

What would happen if you sent him 5K Baht (never to be repaid) and then blocked him? We're talking about $150 USD. Would it really bother you that much if you never saw that money again? Would the loss of that sum impact your retirement plans? Why will you "not let him get away with paying back nothing" ? That's the part I don't get. Are you waiting for him to develop "effort and determination" to remedy his poverty?

[latintopxxx]

...problem is he might just be back....after all arent fat old farangs known as ATMs...
Thats why I keep it totally impersonal...i barely acknowledge the service provider...he's only there for one thing...not my friend or buddy..dont even want to talk to it..

[a447]

Yes, he might be back. But this time, he'll be with his friends.

It could get ugly.

[latintopxxx]

...damn..find myself nodding in agreement with 447

[cdnmatt]

First, sorry Justaguy, never noticed that post. Seen the first sentence of the reply, but didn't notice there was more.

My $0.02 though, of course give him the 5000 baht. What are you doing? If you don't, there's a chance he will be more bitter with you than he already is, and in all honesty, understandably so.

Not to be a dick, but what the hell went through your mind to make you think that little stunt was a good way to handle things? Are you an 11 year old school girl, or? Talk about petty, and you drastically damaged his life by doing that. Really classy.

[justaguy]

So you argued "about nothing", he blocked you (which caused you no detriment, only hurt feelings), and you retaliated by hacking his facebook, posting compromising photos/revenge porn of him on it (which would have got you locked up in any decent country).

Thus causing him to lose his home and his relationship with his father?

Then you come on here smirking and boasting about it?

Sorry, you're an utter cunt!

Wait, I'm not sorry - and you're STILL an utter cunt!

I just did what he threatened to do to me...It wasn't all the shocking either. I did not post to boast, you must have missed the part where I do feel partly responsible. You should learn to read, before you approach me in a very rude manner, A cunt, let's just say it takes one to know one, right...

[justaguy]

...problem is he might just be back....after all arent fat old farangs known as ATMs...
Thats why I keep it totally impersonal...i barely acknowledge the service provider...he's only there for one thing...not my friend or buddy..dont even want to talk to it..

He was not a service provider, in any way shape or from. This is not someone I picked up at a bar, but a friend of many years who accidently became more than that. And I am not an old farang, and at 65 KG 1.80 not fat either

[justaguy]

As Latin said, "so do your good deed for the day and throw some cash at him...or NOT". But you seem to have mixed feelings. You know he doesn't want to see you again but you know it was you who got him kicked out of his home. Most people would feel a little guilty about that.

What would happen if you sent him 5K Baht (never to be repaid) and then blocked him? We're talking about $150 USD. Would it really bother you that much if you never saw that money again? Would the loss of that sum impact your retirement plans? Why will you "not let him get away with paying back nothing" ? That's the part I don't get. Are you waiting for him to develop "effort and determination" to remedy his poverty?

I do feel guilty, but cannot surpress the feeling that it was certainly partially self inflicted. Betraying people is also not a nice thing to do, I just retaliated, and for that I am indeed sorry. I cannot turn back the clock, but however I do not want to be in a situation where in about six weeks he comes back for more, I want to ensure he gets out of the village and goes where he can actually battle his poverty.

AS to letting him getting away with paying nothing,I might do that in due time, for now, I believe a word is a word. I already allowed him to pay back the money he owes me minus 15.000 baht, to me that is a bloody great concession already, not prepared to concede more.

As to he loosing his home, he is allowed to visit, but not to stay, and this only because his father is an old homophobe, maybe it is time, he told the guy to fuck off. It's 2017 for crying out loud.

[justaguy]

Yes, he might be back. But this time, he'll be with his friends.

It could get ugly.

I know pretty much all of his friends and a large part of his family. He is not the type, and neither are they.

[justaguy]

First, sorry Justaguy, never noticed that post. Seen the first sentence of the reply, but didn't notice there was more.

My $0.02 though, of course give him the 5000 baht. What are you doing? If you don't, there's a chance he will be more bitter with you than he already is, and in all honesty, understandably so.

Not to be a dick, but what the hell went through your mind to make you think that little stunt was a good way to handle things? Are you an 11 year old school girl, or? Talk about petty, and you drastically damaged his life by doing that. Really classy.

Point taken, although I doubt I drastically damaged his life. I personally think he shouldn't even stay with a guy that is so homophobic that he made his son marry a girl many years ago (he was married to some girl for two years, just to please his father). To me that is much more damaging then now not being allow to stay at his birthplace.

I was always sceptical of him moving back to Lao just for this reason (and the reason that he would not have a steady income).

What you don't know because I did not disclose this is that
I was the one that made it possible for him to go back to Lao. The mistake I made is that I did not tell him that his plans to remain in Lao were guaranteed to fail. His mother also told him, what you plan to do cannot be done.

But I was stupid enough to make him believe that if he just worked hard enough, he would succeed. I should have told him from the beginning, what you plan to do does not work, he had no idea whatsoever what he was getting himself into, due to his inability or maybe unwillingness to properly plan and inform himself about the field in which he was planning to make a living. Later on, I kept pressuring him to go to work in Vientiane, but that was cut short when we stopped communicating. In the 13 weeks that passed, he just stayed put, instead of using some of the money to get himself a paying job.

He initially would return to Bangkok, which would have been the smartest thing to do. One of his best friends, is also a very good friend of mine, he asked him if he could stay at his room, and he was supposed to be arriving mid July. But alas he did not go, and now is in financial trouble again.

In retrospect, I should have insisted he kept working in Bangkok for another year or so, he had a valid work permit, and he should have utilized it to make some more money before returning to Laos. I now regret that I did not do more to convince him that this would be a far better idea.