Bar boy deaths

[gerefan2]

No-one really cares yet he has accumulated nearly 3000 posts...

It's not the number of posts you put in, it's what you put in the posts ....

[latintopxxx]

relax gerefan....dont get all worked up...afterall we all have to plough through your posts...and remember one mans trash is anothers..

[christianpfc]

Since I first came to Thailand in 2009, I know of only one boy whom I met who died. It might well be that several others who I knew, but have no connection on social media or otherwise, and who just disappeared, are now dead.

I tend to agree with latintopxxx and see these boys more as a service provider than friends, just like a hairdresser or plumber. I wouldn't friend my hairdresser or plumber on facebook. Those I friend on facebook, it's mainly to have a way to contact them.

But I lost two Farang friends (and while I have never met bangkokbois, he can count as third, and nobody knows what happened to shamelessmack).

[francois]

I tend to agree with latintopxxx and see these boys more as a service provider than friends, just like a hairdresser or plumber. I wouldn't friend my hairdresser or plumber on facebook. Those I friend on facebook, it's mainly to have a way to contact them

Christian, this is why you will not find a boyfriend although you have used the term "boyfriend" in your posts.

[scottish-guy]

Given your rather infrequent visits to Thailand in the last decade or so (once?) the chances of you knowing him would be quite slim. Asking for a link to a friends FB is just ugly voyeurism. Bravo to Colmx for not providing it.

I was never a 4x a year visitor to Thailand - the most I have managed is 2x in a year due to work commitments.

In the past 7 or 8 years I've had a long term BF in Vietnam (and also an apartment now) and because of that, plus a reduction in my work activity in more recent years, I now prefer to go there 2 or 3 times a year.

I will be there in the next few days and will stay for just over 2 weeks. We may go outside Vietnam but it's highly unlikely it would be to Thailand as he seems to be (irrationally) anxious that I will be swept off my feet by some Pattaya GoGo boy! This is not fantasy - although I'm a very private individual we have both met SGT forum contributors.

When I come back in early Sept I will have about a week to 10 days home before a short trip to Germany, with a friend.

This is called having a life MiniMee- you should try it instead of getting some sort of vicarious orgasm from monitoring other people's movements

Not that you even do it successfully or efficiently - I have visited Thailand not once as you suggest but ~ 6 or 7 times in the time frame you mention. Overall I have visited over 20 times. I'm certain others have visited more but it's not actually a competition you know and there is no qualification bar to post here.

Moving on to the subject of A-O - several photos have been posted here of boys who have died either through accidents or other reasons (including AIDS), yet I don't recall you criticising any of those posters. Perhaps you'd be good enough to demonstrate your consistent outrage over "voyeurism" by linking to your critical comments on those other posts?

I respect Colmx not wanting to post a link or a photo - and in fact I commented positively on it.

[Nirish guy]

Sorry the above is the message I MEANT to post and the edit window beat me ( Moses apologies, please feel free to delete the above as I can't any longer )


Without wanting to step into that whole voyeurism discussion I would just add that whilst in this case I respect Colmx's decision not to post AO's picture ( up to him) I personally see nothing wrong with someone posting a short respectful Obituary type pic when a boy a lot of us might know passes.

No details as how how or why his passing took place are required, merely that he's sadly gone. I say this as unlike Latin etc I know I certainly have connected with (some) boys on a human level on trips, wether that be out partying, eating with them and their friends, sitting on a beach late at night talking about them and their lives and their fears and their family and me mine etc etc and so after many trips you can't help but to get to know and like some guys a bit ( well as much as they want me to know and that works two ways of course) - and that's not to say ALL guys I ever meet Latin as yes of course some are strictly business, but some also end up being just a little more than that and those boys I've never regret meeting or interacting with at any time over all my trips.

So in general I see no harm in those of us who frequent the bars etc being respectfully informed that "x" has passed away. It also saves us asking numerous boys "so where is X this trip then" and leading to them feeling awkward or having to lie about that. I actually had a situation just a few weeks ago where the mother of a boy that had died ( and a friend of mine) posted a post in and on his account on his Facebook page ( in Thai of course) in a memorium type way and several farang were messaging "him" to say hi and ask what bar he was working in now etc and I was able to quietly advise them to stop ( even though the poor guys funeral pics were on down the page !) as I WAS aware that he'd passed and so realised what was happening.

So personally I see it as no different from when someone here might post a pic of perhaps a well known bar owner or maybe if a popular poster or blog writer passes etc to let us all know that he's gone and and allow those of us who knew him just to take a second to note his passing as to me the boys are no less in stature as human beings as us and so as we might know them as well if not better than the above examples then to me there's no reason we would feel we need to make any difference about that.

But again Colmx I fully respect your choice not to post AO's pic on this occasion and to get you to do so is certainly not the point of this post.

[a447]

A while ago a member sent me a PM about a massage boy be knew well who had died - he had been murdered. I didn't know the boy in question but I felt the member's pain acutely.

It got me thinking - how would I react if I heard similar news?

Over the years I've made many long-term friends amongst the working boys and would be devastated if anything ever happened to them.

I would definitely want to know.

[latintopxxx]

...too close for comfort...they are not my friends..at most a vague acquaintance...I have friends..people I care about...would be too emotionally draining to befriend the dozens of MB I use.
In a way have to admire people who have the emotional strength to do so...

[BonTong]

No secret : untreated HIV and motosay accidents !

At least from what I've seen in Chiang Mai I have to agree. Though, whilst I know some who have sadly died from AIDS, the number of motosai deaths I would say is much higher. Most of the MBs here (in CM) are straight and won't engage in much risky sexual activity. The greater HIV risk for them maybe comes from their working bar girl partners.

I recall the comments of one bar owner in response to an anti HIV campaign targetting bar boys: "The money would be better spent if they bought them each a motosai helmet". That said, those with hard heads would still rather risk demonstrating that heads aren't so hard when they impact tarmac, than actually wear a helmet. After all trendy hair-dos are worth more than life itself.

Don't discount murder as a cause of death. I've known several who have succumbed to various violent acts, often connected to Shan gang warfare, and even road rage.

Quite a few older ex MBs have health issues, resulting from a lifetime of drugs, lao khao.and late night street food lifestyle. These often lead to premature death too.

[a447]

Latin, it was my mistake not to write 'friends' in inverted commas, as I usually do.

The guys I wrote about - and there are only a few of them - are not friends in the normal sense of the word. But they are guys I feel close to, having spent so much time with them. And they also treat me differently from all the other moneyboys I have met over the years.

I don't want them as friends, as they are too young for me and we have little in common. They also do not want me as their friend, I'm sure.

But there's a closeness and a connection between us. If anything untoward were to happen, I would be there for them. And I am confident they would take care of me should I need their help.

These types of guys are few and far between and I value their company.