Are you Homophobic?

[FarangRuMak]

Don't know about others but there's a part of me that's homophobic.
But straight away I'm not happy with the "phobia" part because it suggests that I'm in some way irrational in my non-interest in or my actual dislike of certain types of "gay". But it's the common term used so it will have to do for the moment.
The dilemma for me is that I'm attracted to a narrow band of male types in terms of body and personality.
The age group is (roughly) between 18 and 28.
My favourite body type is medium and cute.
I like funny, different, straight or straight acting and a little crazy.
When I was young I was definitely bi-sexual but that's long gone by now.
I have zero attraction for effeminate gay men who flounce around and help women doing their hair etc.
In fact I can't share the same space with them for more than 10 minutes whereas I get on ok with women themselves.
But I'm never offensive and I'm always polite but I can't manufacturer an attraction.

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[francois]

No.

[Manforallseasons]

I too am repulsed by overtly feminine guys and prefer straight guys if that is considered homophobic so be it!

[arsenal]

Mincing queens are so exhausting to spend time with.

[dab69]

Mincing queens are so exhausting to spend time with.

"Other" mincing queens?

[frequent]

I abhor the notion that us queers should be aping hetero-normative behaviours by pressing for gay "marriage". Does that make me homophobic? I'm not interested in screwing trannies - I prefer my guys to be boys out of bed, girls in bed - but I don't run a mile when a katoey or a lady boy comes and talks to me either. I don't enquire too closely about anyone's sexuality because the one thing we know from Kinsey's research is that sexuality is a continuum not a binary outcome. The number of married men you see hanging around public lavatories is testament to that. So I'm not too fussed if some lad I've picked up turns out to have a woman and kids at home, but it's not a type I chase either

I was recently travelling through Isaan (see my thread on the topic) and met a mildly effeminate unmarried man living in a village. When I commented to one of my travelling companions about the lack of a boyfriend so what did he do for sex, the response was "many guys want to muck around" - another euphemism for you there, scottish-guy - a sentiment about gays in village life that I've heard before

[cdnmatt]

I abhor the notion that us queers should be aping hetero-normative behaviours by pressing for gay "marriage". Does that make me homophobic?

Why would be against same-sex marriage? For example, why shouldn't I be allowed to sponsor my BF and life partner for permanent residency to Canada? I should be denied that right just because we're both males?

What happens if we're living in Canada, and once of us end up in the hospital for a decent length of time? We should be denied visitation rights, simply because we're gay? Thankfully, this seems be a non-issue in Thailand.

How about when doing taxes? I should be denied the ability to claim him as my spouse? Thankfully Canada legalized gay marriage back in 2005 on the federal level, so this is all kind of a moot point for me anyway.

Anyway, back to the OP. I'm not really attracted to the feminine queens either, but that hardly makes me homophobic. That would require me to be hearful of them, which I'm definitely not. They're more than welcome to be whoever they are, same as everyone else. Just because they happen to be gay too doesn't mean I need to find them attractive, and jump into bed with them.

[frequent]

Why would be against same-sex marriage? For example, why shouldn't I be allowed to sponsor my BF and life partner for permanent residency to Canada? I should be denied that right just because we're both males?

Do stop talking patent nonsense Matt. Both New Zealand and Australia have had same-sex immigration programmmes for same sex couples since the very early 1990s. In 2006/7 the Australian government legislated away all legal differences between heterosexual and homosexual couples; the New Zealand government having done so some years earlier. Both countries have enshrined in law the view that a marriage certificate is utterly meaningless when it comes to deciding all sorts of legal issues. New Zealand legislated for gay "marriage" some years ago; Australia is yet to do so. Britain also had a similar approach for a number of years. You should be considering whether the issues raised in the Celebrity Threesome case in Britain are in fact a somewhat compelling argument for the view that allowing gays to have "marriage equality" is in fact changing the nature of marriage

[cdnmatt]

Well, learn something new everyday, as I didn't know Australia and New Zealand has those laws in place for such a long time. I know in Canada it wasn't possible to apply for PR status with a spousal sponorship until gay marriage became legalized at the federal level, which happened in 2005.

[frequent]

Well, learn something new everyday, as I didn't know Australia and New Zealand has those laws in place for such a long time. I know in Canada it wasn't possible to apply for PR status with a spousal sponorship until gay marriage became legalized at the federal level, which happened in 2005.

No doubt Australia's past as a convict colony made the issue of informal relationships a more pressing one. As for New Zealand - I think they're desperately grateful that people want to go there to live