Pattaya bars - a review

[arsenal]

The part about Eros. Wonderful.

[gerefan2]

Thank you for those posts poshglasgow....you Scottish guys can really write well!

[poshglasgow]

Thank you everyone for the kind comments, but I get as much pleasure from writing these few lines as some of you are getting from reading them; it brings back great memories for many of us.

Now, everyone needs a Nana! In Scotland it’s a term of endearment usually reserved for grandmothers. In Pattaya, Nana lives at Panorama, next door to Twinkie Palace (Cupidol). I always pay Nana a visit in the early evening when I’m in Pattaya, and Nana, complete with black polo shirt and sensible glasses welcomes his regulars like long-lost friends before leading them willingly into a Goss-Fest like no other. Nana loves a bit of gossip and if Nana doesn’t know what’s going on in Boyztown in terms of who’s doing what to whom and how often then it’s not worth knowing. He scans the soi like an owl and nothing misses his attention. My God, you should have seen the look he gave me when I stopped off at Serene Bar, next door, to chat with the skinny flirtatious Max (who told me last week that he once worked in Sunee). I waved at Nana to indicate that all was well and that he would be my next port of call on my extensive itinerary. I was forgiven.

How many, like me, are amazed at, and often worried by, the superb memories of Thais.
“I look you before; I see you Jomtiem.”
“When?”
“Last year I see you - with dog.”
Rather harsh, I thought, given that I am not in the habit of choosing ugly companions.
And then he proves it by describing the afternoon I tripped backwards over a sleeping dog behind the deckchairs and he helped me to my feet, while laughing hysterically.

Talking of Jomtien, are you aware that there are snakes in the trees above the deckchairs in the gay stretch? Yes, seriously. Now, I’m not sure whether these small green serpents are dangerous or not, but strolling from the Pattaya Park swimming area towards the Police station, passing the ‘area’ with our deckchairs, I saw a ‘stick’ fall from one of the trees a little way ahead of me. The stick moved and then took off towards the deckchairs. A large Thai lady let out a shout, grabbed a brush and pursued it before it shot under a stack of redundant deckchairs. Word got around quickly, and soon a number of resting farang had leapt onto their chairs, while the search continued. The terrified reptile remained deep under the stack of chairs. Soon, everyone lost interest and went back to cooking, massaging, flirting, selling DVDs and themselves. The farang were reluctant to place their feet back on the sand, some sitting hunched for some time like gargoyles on Notre Dame Cathedral.

Pattaya Park, a welcome break from the beach, serves as an excellent sun trap, but oh dear, I recall the tragic drowning of fifteen-year-old British boy about eight years ago. It was a terrible story. He had lost his sunglasses in the water and fearing they had gone through one of the large square filtration holes, at the foot of the pool, protected by an iron grill, he dived down, lifted the grill and was sucked into the pool’s filtration unit. They found his body, in the presence of his desperate father, in the pump house. British dad and Thai mum, all on holiday from the west of England. Tragic; I could have cried when I read that. I often think of the story when I am in the region.

Do remember the old days of the Copa when the bar was managed by Kevin, the chap with throat cancer (not sure if he survived it), and the show was one of the best in the area by far? Boys not Katoeys was the slogan, and there wasn’t a drag queen of the lip-sync variety anywhere on the programme. Hooray!!!!! There were a couple of very amusing acts: one in which a wild, energetic boy dressed as a dog bounded through the club and ‘humped’ various guests. Another excellent act was the ‘Sister Act’ number: I will follow him. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPpd-6X3tEo
I have yet to find a show in Patts where there are no drag queens of the lip-sync variety: can’t bear them: they have the same effect on me as clowns outside a children’s playground. If anyone knows of a bar where only the boys dance and perform, without unwelcome interruptions from some Danny La Rue lookalikes dripping in sequins, wigs like Marge Simpson, clockwork, trembling mouths bearing the most outrageous trout-pouts and with their cocks pulled backwords and inserted into their anuses to form a not very convincing camel toe, then do please let me know for my next visit.

[arsenal]

These are awesome posts Poshglasgow. But I see X-boys looking tired and 360' bar not getting going and Funny Boys closing and I see Boyztown going the same way as Sunee.

However I would add that for the moment, Pattaya is very well stocked with lots of handsome and willing boys both gay and straight.

[scottish-guy]

Although I fail to see the comparison between the glamorous and talented Danny La Rue (who always sang live) and the low-rent lip-synchers of Pattaya, the fact is that PoshGlasgow must surely be in line for some literary award......


.....the Hooker Prize maybe?

[Jellybean]

. . . PoshGlasgow must surely be in line for some literary award . . .

. . . Or, the Nob Prize in Literature, perhaps? I can’t recall the last time I saw such fine writing on the forum. Yes, very impressive, poshglasgow. I do believe you are going to be a very welcome member of our small band of brothers.

[arsenal]

Not really relevant but nowhere else to post it

I had a very Thai day today. I got caught in the torrential rain and thunder near Sriracha. The journey back (on a motorbike) involved riding through over a foot of ukky water, discussing with fellow travellers the best way to go, long detours to avoid flooded Sukumvhit, Thais standing shotgun in case a bike got stuck, following in convoy the only guy who knew the way and getting pretty wet while being scared of being struck by lightening. What a hoot.

[a447]

I can’t recall the last time I saw such fine writing on the forum. Yes, very impressive,

Oh well, back to the drawing board.

[scottish-guy]

I know he's a right cheeky cunt isn't he

[Jellybean]

Oh well, back to the drawing board.

Oh dear! Yes, I see. My intention was to praise poshglasgow for his fine writing style and not to criticise other members. My Bad! As a punishment, I shall self flagellate later today.

But fear not a447, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your writing style, which is pretty unique and requires no further improvement. Mine on the other hand, well yes, as a primary school teacher once said in my annual report card, “Could do better”, and that still applies today.

I know he's a right cheeky [expletive deleted] isn't he

Oh my goodness! Such unparliamentary language, such profanity scottish-guy. I’m shocked to the core. In fact, my core has never been so shocked.

Well, it is perfectly clear to me you’re not from the posh side of Glasgow, that’s for sure, not with such a potty mouth.