Quieter bars

[Old git]

'As one gets older, things start to go wrong'

This statement of the bleedin' obvious came from a remarkable, wizened and very plummily spoken guy, now resident in Hua Hin and known to all as Dr Mike, who has spent much of his medical career tending 'pro bono' to people across the globe who would otherwise be unable to afford medical treatment.. His recollections of living with and tending to the Masai warriors alone, is a half hour well spent.

In my case, most things have not gone wrong, aside from my hearing which is now wracked by tinnitus. This does not greatly impair my hearing, except when someone is speaking to me over a background of loud music, in which event, I can often make sense of bugger all.

However..


it's too stereotypical of a grumpy old man to moan about loud music..

But.. now that recent events have obliged bars to turn down the volume control, I'm seeing a host of posts on both gay and straight forums welcoming the drop in volume levels.

So.. when crusing for a bar to visit, are you:

a) Unconcerned by the music volume

b) Positively attracted by loud music

c) Negatively deterred by loud music

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[fountainhall]

Obviously "loud" is largely a personal view but I assume you mean so loud it is almost an assault on your ears. In that case, definitely I vote 'c'.

The dangers of listening to such loud music are now well documented and I feel sorry for the bar boys and disco workers who have to put up with it night after night. But then again, most of these same boys have their headphones in for much of the rest of the day listening to music at a similarly high level. I recall reading some years ago that if you are listening to music in a public place and cannot hear someone talking next to you, the level is too high.

And the real problem is that the damage done to hearing can take decades to manifest itself.

[Nirish guy]

Absolutely right FH. I played in a cabaret band 4 nights a week for around 12 years, with a 200 watt keyboard amp sitting 15 ft away from my ear and a full band PA system 30 away from my other ear, all quite happily and without worry. I also hit many a nightclub on my nights off again without worry - well, now - my hearing is FUCKED !! 30% loss of hearing in on ear and 25% in the other and both rapidly getting worse, plus a permanent tinnitus ringing in my ears ( which thankfully is just bearable). I really should be going and getting a hearing aid but pure vanity stops me ( as I'm only 47) but my staff members who have to endure my endless "pardons" when they talk to me or listen to me talking way too loudly ( apparently as I cant hear myself) are ganging up to make a hearing aid intervention shortly I'm told if I don't at least consider it !

So yes, whilst I would have been the first person to laugh at those who used to go to nightclubs wearing ear defenders I now would encourage any young ( or not so young ) person to do so as like all progressive health issues you don't miss what you had until it's gone and then its too late to do anything about it and Thailand clubs are in my experience far worse than those in the West too it seems !

[a447]

Were you a horn player by any chance, Nirish?

Sorry to hear about your hearing loss. Imagine what is going to happen to all those young people who walk around with earbuds 24/7.

[Nirish guy]

Why don't be ridiculous, a horn player no, I of course was the organ player :-)

And don't worry my hearing loss does come in handy at times and especially in Thailand when the boys start launching into their "maybe you can help me" pre-prepared begging speeches as funnily enough my tinnitus just seems to go right off the scale at that point :-)

[Up2U]

I don't go to go-go bars like I used to, so I vote for "c". Loud music was always a turn-off for me, but the boys were much younger, they liked it, I understood and tolerated it. The mourning period is a blessing in disguise in that I can sit in the Jomtien complex, enjoy a drink, socialize with friends without being blasted out by some birthday party or special event.

[scottish-guy]

Guys - I know a thing or two about this, I have moderate hearing loss and I also have tinnitus 24/7.

The truth of the matter is people with decent hearing can hear in substantial noise. Think back - when you were younger you could cope in these environments with very little difficulty, right?

If you struggle these days, theres no point blaming the music when you can clearly see other people conversing or if the barboy hears your drinks order perfectly. Guess what - it's YOU!!

As Old Git's doctor friend says - you're getting older, and things deteriorate.

I see that NIrish accepts his hearing is damaged, but for others you should get your hearing checked and when you finally accept it's YOU and not everybody else, then consider doing something about it.

You'll never hear normally again but with the right help, things can be improved considerably - and that includes the tinnitus.

Oh and NIrish - nobody has to see those hearing aids nowadays.

[gerefan2]

As someone who has recently been issued with two hearing aids (!) I agree you should get tested earlier rather than later.

It is unfair and very annoying for people to have to endure the constant repetitions and pardons etc.

Whilst they are not perfect my friends are very thankful Ive got them!

[Nirish guy]

So, are we on to something here I wonder !

Is this in the future going to be the way of spotting aging gay men in a busy crowd !?

Whereas the average "normal" person might go clubbing in their 20s and 30s and suffer moderate hearing loss as a result when older, are we older gay guys, who frequent Thailand etc and insist on going to bars and clubs (and generally getting on like people half our age ), setting ourselves even most apart from the mainstream of society and will a gay bar of the future ( if they even exist in 20 years time) comprise 90% of the clientele all either wearing the latest slickest most fabulous hearing aids available to man.

Or as is more likely and mainly due to vanity will we all be standing about unable to hear each other, throwing in the odd "whats that?" here and there just in case and thus pretending that the blank expression we have on our faces when others are talking to us as we can hear bugger all is just us being aloof and superior and just generally way to fabulous to talk to the likes of "them" !

T'will be interesting to see perhaps ! :-)

[Dalewood]

Absolutely "c" for me. Back when I was in the US Navy, I will never forget a couple of bars near the main gate of our navy base in the Philippines. The girls in the bar would literally have to cup their hands and shout into your ear to make themselves heard. Not only was I worried about their long-term hearing but even the structural soundness of the building---it was THAT loud.