Bali - I need mentoring

[Nirish guy]

Kuta Is not seminyak Christian ( although parts might be getting more like it I grant you day by day) and I would disagree with you Seminyak looking like Phuket etc, perhaps small parts, but once you travel out and about there are some beautiful buildings, bars and restaurants and ocean views abounding in the local area. I'm also guessing that you also didn't interact well with the locals or feel the relaxed and chilled out vibe in the area ( as I'm guessing you've never felt chilled out and relaxed in your life and a staff member from one of the bars you were in was able to tell me you'd been rude to them - in their opinion and had asked for some info, got your answer, they then tried to interact with you further and you cut them dead and ignored them), the chilled out and being friendly thing Is all part of life here it seems and makes a trip enjoyable - the same as anywhere else I'm guessing and is also the reason you probably don't enjoy too many other places that most seem to find ok too.

And to be monetary for just a second ( which I know you'll like) one MASSIVE difference is that it seems that one can shag themselves to a standstill here, perhaps two and three times a day, every day and over for a reasonably long holiday period at that - and for FREE - try doing THAT in Thailand for even a week ! Hell you live there and still can't seem to manage it in any organised or regular way with having to do a mountain of work to achieve that, here, it's an App reply and a meet 15 minutes later - so I'm told anyway if my BF reads this later !

And re the money changer yes of course I'm familiar with the money must be counted before leaving the store rules etc - but when I went back it wasn't a contract I was waving at him but more my fist and a "real world" proposition of "there's two ways we can sort this out, up to you how"' - and as I said I was both very relieved and surprised that he picked my way - but remember he stole 2.7 million and I only got back 2,2 - so he was still 500 up ! For stealing and me not breaking his face or calling the police, so on reflection he made the right choice. And yes I did of course count my money but he simply pinched some of it back when I averted my gaze for a mere millisecond.

[christianpfc]

Quotes of Nirish guy in italic

Kuta Is not seminyak Christian ( although parts might be getting more like it I grant you day by day) and I would disagree with you Seminyak looking like Phuket etc, perhaps small parts,

The central areas (in Pattaya even from Naklua to Jomtien) look all the same, and are the same boring to me, in Pattaya, Phuket(Patong), Bali(Kuta): traffic jams, scams, money exchanges, massage parlors, bars with alcohol and loud music and the like.

I'm also guessing that you also didn't interact well with the locals or feel the relaxed and chilled out vibe in the area ( as I'm guessing you've never felt chilled out and relaxed in your life

You have a point.

and a staff member from one of the bars you were in was able to tell me you'd been rude to them - in their opinion and had asked for some info, got your answer, they then tried to interact with you further and you cut them dead and ignored them)

I have no idea where and when, and it was not my intent to be rude. Please provide details, either here on by pm. Even when someone who is not my type latches on me, I am diplomatic in getting rid of him.

he chilled out and being friendly thing Is all part of life here it seems and makes a trip enjoyable - the same as anywhere else I'm guessing and is also the reason you probably don't enjoy too many other places that most seem to find ok too.

You have a point.

And to be monetary for just a second ( which I know you'll like) one MASSIVE difference is that it seems that one can shag themselves to a standstill here, perhaps two and three times a day, every day and over for a reasonably long holiday period at that - and for FREE - try doing THAT in Thailand for even a week !

Looking back, boy-wise my trip was ok. My stay was too short for any meaningful statistics.

[cdnmatt]

I can agree wholeheartedly with NIrish. I stayed in Bali (Ubud) for a week back in the day, and it was an amazing experience. Was planning to spend a couple months there, but couldn't find anywhere decent with internet at the time. Hotel promised they had internet, but nope. Had about 5 taxi drivers running around looking for a room in a house or similar for me that had internet, and again, nope. Although we did find one house that had dial-up, and I actually regret not taking that offer, becuase I'm sure it would have been an amazing experience.

The one thing I'll never forget about Bali is I don't think I've ever seen the color green as beautiful as it was there. Go outside into the countryside a bit, and the level of green was deep, lush, and beautiful.

The people were absolutely amazing, and extremely friendly. Loads of people would chat you up with a smile, genuinely chat with you about this or that, and never asked for anything. The hotel staff were awesome, and I remember a couple nights we'd end up sitting outside the hotel entrance, on this wodden peir type thing overlooking a rice field, drinking "Iraq" all night, a local alcohol.

But yeah, aside from the shit internet and being forced to use internet cafes, I can highly recommend Bali, or at least Ubud. That Hindu culture is great. And this was about 8 years ago, so I'm sure the internet is just fine now.

[Nirish guy]

I have no idea where and when, and it was not my intent to be rude. Please provide details, either here on by pm.

It was in one of the main two gay bars and I'll not go further if you don't mind - and not I assure you as it didn't happen but simply that the guy still works there and it would I'm sure that you all of 3 seconds to work ou who that might be.

I would say this in your defence when the story was told to me about this rude / cold guy that he'd been cold shouldered by I laughed by a "mean guy" as I'd just read your trip report.( they're my words btw as it was a while ago now and I can't recall the exact phases used but that was certainly his meaning - but as I sai in your defence I've no doubt in YOUR head you asked for whatever info you'd requested, got your reply and that was obviously the end of any requirement for interaction between you and he - that I can fully imagine and understand how YOU reach that conclusion. However when you then factor in that whole ethos of both Bali and the bar staff and customers is to be very tactile, chatty and flirty with ALL visitors to the bar ( who normally return the flirting and good humour in equal measure) then THAT would have been why your actions would have been deemed as standoffish and rude.

I'm sure this isn't news to you and is all just part of the whole Autism / Asphergers thing you've got going on and you're probably rarely aware ( or care) or others taken the view that they do of their interactions with you. But to be fair it does come across sometimes that you are aware of it and still choose not to intentionally soften your interactions to make you "appear" a nicer guy ( in their eyes) as being blunt you don't "really" care what they think anyway as they're beneath you in way in SO many different ways - meanwhile you leave the bar either unaware of appearing rude or perhaps feeling superior whereas they just go on about their jobs / thinking "asshole" - and I don't mean that as an insult to you, I'm merely trying to show the thought processes involved by others that might take them to that position as I'm guessing ( again no insult intended) that you rarely see or understand that.

[Nirish guy]

And Christian may I suggest you find a new "interaction" coach as the farang you said "gives you tips how to pull boys" doesn't it seem to be doing a great job, either that or you're too harshly interpreting his instructions,

In Bali ( and anywhere in life I find) a little bit of relaxed chat and banter, a little bit of flirting ( ohhh that shirt looks great on you, you're eyes they so bright, ahhh you're a really handsome guy, where you from?) ( pa sound familiar - Thai guys have been doing it to you for years now) goes a long way. Then adding that to "playing the field" until you decide who you're going home with - so not saying no but not cutting off your origins either "awww I not know what my plans are yet, I need to see farang friend soon to eat / drink / discuss tomorrow ..... but maybe we can meet later as you're cute" can also go along way on leaving you a well padded "dance card" to select a willing victim from later - but mainly just be NICE and open and friendly and try to have a bit of a laugh and genuine interaction on some level with the guys will go a long way and also usually improve your chances of having an enjoyable night out.

I'm guessing that the above to you ie standing talking what is basically bullshit all night is the very LAST thing that you would call enjoyable and to you would be both boring, a poor use of your time and non productive as a lot of time would be spent talking to people you may have already decided in your 5 second introductory skin, temperature, tattoo that's etc that they're not the guy for you anyway - but his MATE might be and by cutting him off and making yourself look "weird" you've just killed any chances of that happening either.

So whilst the above may be almost physically painful for you to bare I'm guessing your choices are to carry on as you are ( how's that working out for you) OR to work on your "people skills" so as to learn to bullshit and flirt like the rest of us who don't either suffer or are happy to have ( never sure which it is with you) your condition.

But if your mate there in Bkk isn't telling you this stuff you need to find new mates who know it - and may Ines who talk to "real" guys too every now and then and not just bangkok and pattayas finest money boys as those conversations are about as far removed from real life that you can get.

Ha on that very point - one guy last night messaged me - i come you fuck me - me no thanks - him only 500 !! ( I know that got your attention :/) me - still no thanks ( I was already in bed and couldn't be arsed - so I say "sorry I no change - him, no problem, I come you fuck me 30 minute, you give me 1000, I go get change and I leave you my phone as security until I come back with your 500. ( I still said no for the record as he's bored me by then) - but THAT is a great example of the NON real world conversations that you might only hear in the likes of Pattaya !! Lol

[christianpfc]

And Christian may I suggest you find a new "interaction" coach as the farang you said "gives you tips how to pull boys" doesn't it seem to be doing a great job, either that or you're too harshly interpreting his instructions,

You are mixing something up. I have two Farang friends who have completely different styles, but both much better success than I have, who I occasionally refer to.

I'm guessing that the above to you ie standing talking what is basically bullshit all night is the very LAST thing that you would call enjoyable and to you would be both boring, a poor use of your time and non productive as a lot of time would be spent talking to people you may have already decided in your 5 second introductory skin, temperature, tattoo that's etc that they're not the guy for you anyway - but his MATE might be and by cutting him off and making yourself look "weird" you've just killed any chances of that happening either.

There is some truth in this. Some days ago, I was walking in Bangkok and passing a group of Thais sitting and drinking, and heard a "hello" called in my direction. I was in a hurry, and even if I hadn't been, without paying particular attention to them, from the angle of my eye I saw when approaching and passing that there was no material that would warrant a stop*, so I continued walking hoping that would pass as "he hasn't heard me" versus "what an arrogant asshole".

*I have such an amazing brain, scanning my surroundings for cute boys goes automatically. I can navigate a broken sidewalk, have a phone call, calculate the third root of two paperless, watch out for my bus, and still be aware "cute boy incoming, two o'clock, 20 meter away".

[Nirish guy]

*I have such an amazing brain, scanning my surroundings for cute boys goes automatically. I can navigate a broken sidewalk, have a phone call, calculate the third root of two paperless, watch out for my bus, and still be aware "cute boy incoming, two o'clock, 20 meter away".

And then STILL fail to connect with him in any meaningful way and walk on wondering "shit, what could I have said to him" as he walks away and you then realise that the moment has passed and you'll now never know if he was your ideal BF or not !

[goji]

So if Grindr is getting blocked, are all the locals using VPNs & other work arounds to get on the app ? The alternative of a trend back to traditional cruising & use of beaches & bars for dating would be no bad thing.

I've not yet been to Bali, but am aware of the forex scam. When visiting a new destination, googling something like "Bali scams" is a good idea.

[paulo15]

So if Grindr is getting blocked, are all the locals using VPNs & other work arounds to get on the app ?

Yes, the young scallywags seem to be be treating the Indo government as fools and downloading VPNs...

[FarangRuMak]

I see some Indonesians on Pl Romeo with face pics
and I have been in contact with a few.
I know Bali is an exception in that it's a Buddhist island but don't you think it's risky to use grindr and such like in an environment of increased fanaticism?