Two boyfriends ?

[justaguy]

Thanks dodger. Not only for stating I am not a troll, but also for pointing out that cheating does not automatically mean I would have no love for my real boyfriend, which is definitely not the case.

Having said that, I do realize that what I am currently doing isn't the hallmark of the perfect boyfriend/partner.

Somehow I do have to deal with that. My honest problem is that I do actually care about two people at the same time at this very moment.

There is no question in my mind that I would dump my real boyfriend, but I somehow need to deal with my feelings for the other guy.

If he wasn't the sweet guy that he is, this would indeed have stopped at the drunken encounter back in November.

Fact is, it hasn't, and that's something I do have to deal with. The other bloke seems to believe that this 'arrangement' is a sustainable affair, but I don't think it is.

So I certainly have some work to do on my next holiday, which is in 10 days.

[ggobob]

One option that I don't think has been mentioned: cancel or postpone your trip to Thailand. Let a little time intervene to see if the new passion diminishes.

[justaguy]

That's out od the question. Not only because I really need a vacation, but we also have appointments with people in Buriram, Khon Kaen and back home in Laos.

At the end of the day, I just need to control whatever I feel for the guy.

[Smiles]

I am not a troll

You are. Every touch of the keyboard you make proves it.
But do carry on ... as a troll, that's what you do. It's your job.

[latintopxxx]

I'm completely aghast at the "straight moralistic" propaganda being broadcast on this board. What is this, the soviet unions polit bureau celebrating a successful 5 year agricultural plan while people are starving in red square. ALL of my friends (oh ok...acquaintances) fuck around non-stop. Its almost impossible for two men (yes gays are men too) in a relationship to remain monogamous.....goes against nature...just not right..

[fountainhall]

I for one appreciate the fact that justaguy has been as open and honest as he has in this thread, and don't agree with the concept that to cheat is not to love.

I've only loved one guy since coming out 15 years ago and I cheated on him...got caught...he was hurt...I lost face...we mended and continued on. He cheated on me...got caught...I was hurt...he lost face...we mended and continued on. Does the fact that we both cheated on each other and got caught mean the love we had for each other was not real? Absoluterly not. It meant that we were not perfect, fell to temptation and used poor judgement. If it wasn't for the love we had for each other the relationship would have been un-mendable and would never have survived.

Perfectly fair point. In my first post I pointed out that my friends who have been in long term relationships almost inevitably stray sexually after 5 years or so. Provided they are open about it, the relationships have stood the test of a very long time.

What you and some other posters seem to forget is what I believe to be the key to the question posed by the OP. The second boy in question is not only the best friend of his partner of 12 years - his partner not only knows about it, he is "angry" and he is against it! Knowing that, would you further anger your bf by seeing his best friend again with sex involved? Would you take that risk? Somehow I doubt it.

I am not planning some great conspiracy here, just a bit of sex. I just do it with someone I like instead of uttering the number of whatever boy I want to 'off'

If it was just another guy and just a bit of sex, I certainly would not be writing in this thread. It is the tangled relationship between the 3 and your seeming indifference to the continuing effect on your long-term bf that makes it different. But, hey, it's your life and it's clear you'll do what you want irrespective of any advice/comments made here. And you're clearly happy to live with the consequences. So, apart from giving us all a bit of fun, I fail to understand why you raised the issue in the first place!

[Smiles]

' ... So, apart from giving us all a bit of fun, I fail to understand why you raised the issue in the first place! ... '

My point exactly. He's a troll ... making up pure nonsense, then sitting back in the 'puter chair laughing at the nonsense, then writing a plethora of nonsense replies to encourage more nonsense.

The point you make about him 'doing no harm' is quite valid, but it's a quite different question ... i.e. the big-picture as to whether trolls be ripped bodily from the board.
I agree that the discourse on this thread has been interesting, sometimes funny, sometimes heated. So I have no problem with replying [i.e. the 'don't feed the trolls' brigade who DO have a problem], just that we should identify a spade as a spade, then just carry on [with the nonsense ].

[oldfarang]

Personally I am a bit surprised at some of the reactions over here. I was expecting more reactions like the one from latin.

Seems being monogamous is a virtue in the gay community nowadays. You learn something new every day I guess.

So wrong, most posters here have made it clear that they have a problem with the fact that you are playing with feelings and emotions, just to satisfy your dicks needs.
Most posters here and most gays have no problems with third party sex, but it should just be sex.

Besides that, there are a few times you say different things, almost a 180 turn, depending on the post you respond to, or you are just so fucked up at the moment that you change you point of view during the short moments of clarity.

[justaguy]

My point exactly. He's a troll ... making up pure nonsense, then sitting back in the 'puter chair laughing at the nonsense, then writing a plethora of nonsense replies to encourage more nonsense.

The point you make about him 'doing no harm' is quite valid, but it's a quite different question ... i.e. the big-picture as to whether trolls be ripped bodily from the board.
I agree that the discourse on this thread has been interesting, sometimes funny, sometimes heated. So I have no problem with replying [i.e. the 'don't feed the trolls' brigade who DO have a problem], just that we should identify a spade as a spade, then just carry on [with the nonsense ].

No nonsense can be found in the OP dear chap. I know you want to see it as nonsense, but it isn't.

[fountainhall]

I know you want to see it as nonsense, but it isn't.

The nonsense is in having posted the "story" on the first place. It's been a good laugh but now it has become tedious. Do your own thing - which you always intended in the first place. Thereafter you might wish to post the results