Two boyfriends ?

[fountainhall]

Not only are you cheating on him but you helped to destroy the friendship he had with his best friend.
How could he ever trust you?

Surely trust is one of the keys to any long term relationship. You have broken it big time. Agree totally with Bucky.

I certainly know I'm wrong, and yes I am ashamed about all of this. Trouble is, I do actually love both of them . . . As to feelings free, I have never fucked wtih someone I didn't have feelings for, I guess that's just the way I "'tick"

So you know you are wrong and are ashamed - so you know what you have to do. Fucking someone because you have feelings for them has nothing to do with the issue.

The loser in all of this is your BF, he loses you and his best friend.

Do you not realise the damage you have caused to your relationship? I'm not talking about sex with others outside a relationship. I have gay friends who are now married after 30, even 40, years together. Like many other long-term couples, I know that after a few years together they came to an arrangement whereby each could play around a bit - on the understanding that both were open about it and told the other about their experiences.

But to develop not just a quick fuck with your BF's best friend but an emotional attachment is utter madness. You blame the start on the drink. BS! You just thought it would be fun to take that drunken chance encounter further because you fancied the guy. Since then you have given zero thought to the effect on your relationship. You say you are going to have sex with the best friend when you return. But then you say you might dump him. So you show zero self-control. Which is it? More fucks - or thank you and good bye? Whatever you decide, you have shattered your BF's trust and it's up to you to rebuild that. If you don't, sorry to say he doesn't deserve you! If I were him, even after 12 years as your BF, I'd just pack up and leave! After all he has his residency papers, a job and therefore independence.

[francois]

Well, since you asked for "reactions" I think the best word to describe you is "cad". What you have is a real boyfriend and the other is nothing but a fuck-friend, not two boyfriends.

After saying the above, your post was most interesting to say the least! It does illustrate the meaning of "dancing with the devil".

[latintopxxx]

Now i'm going to do the " what the hell us wrong with YOU people", one of the advantages of being gay is the ability to fuck anything that moves. Even straight men struggle to remain monogamous hence all the divorces. I met my partner in a sauna where we were both total sluts, we love sex, sex is a hobby. Been together for over a decade, have substantial assets together, we talk and laugh and fuck together, in a group or seperately. Have had dozens of live in lovers, some only last a week, others up to 6 months....helps we have 2 spare bedrooms in a nice part of town with 2 universities. Issue is MOST of you guys confuse a fuck with love. I cant even recall who I fucked last week, its all done in the moment, like chewing gum...flavour is soon gone and I need fresh meat.

[cdnmatt]

Holy fuck, you must have been the most unloved child I ever met.

[Tobi]

I love two persons.

Nope. The only person you love is yourself.

[latintopxxx]

there u go again ...u old fossil...filed away somewhere in the boondocks....actually i must have been an incredibly ugly/unloved child...attended Catholic schools and NOT once was I touched...and here I had the hots for half the teachers...

[latintopxxx]

whoops that was intended for cdnmatt

[fountainhall]

Issue is MOST of you guys confuse a fuck with love.

If you had read the first post correctly, you'd have realised that it is the OP who is confusing fuck with love!

I certainly developed feelings for the other guy.

[justaguy]

If you had read the first post correctly, you'd have realised that it is the OP who is confusing fuck with love!

It looks like it's you who hasn't read the first post correctly. Let me help you:

As far as I’m concerned, chatting with this guy for 10 weeks, several times a day, has certainly introduced a few feelings for him.

So fuck has nothing to do with it.

[justaguy]

Nope. The only person you love is yourself.

Bold statement, based upon what I have written and maybe left out.

The quoted statement is 100% accurate.