Two boyfriends ?

[cdnmatt]

You may think you have two BFs now, but I'm pretty confident you will quickly end up with zero BFs in short order, if you haven't already done so.

Do you have any idea what I would do for a decent BF to love and be loved back by? Here you are being greedy, and trying for two. Unfortunately, they can be greedy too, so you're more than likely going to end up with zero and much less money in your bank account. There's a good chance your "BF" got over the fact you cheated on him so quickly because he colluded with his friend, and they decided "what a dickhead" and are now going to try and take full advantage of the situation.

Now you have two BFs to support, and good chance neither has feelings for you any more.

[justaguy]

You might be right about the zero boyfriends remark, you're way off the mark about the less money in my bank account. I do have a brain you know...

As to being greedy, that's not fair, I didn't ask for all of this, it just happened.

[justaguy]

You may think you have two BFs now, but I'm pretty confident you will quickly end up with zero BFs in short order, if you haven't already done so.

Do you have any idea what I would do for a decent BF to love and be loved back by? Here you are being greedy, and trying for two. Unfortunately, they can be greedy too, so you're more than likely going to end up with zero and much less money in your bank account. There's a good chance your "BF" got over the fact you cheated on him so quickly because he colluded with his friend, and they decided "what a dickhead" and are now going to try and take full advantage of the situation.

Now you have two BFs to support, and good chance neither has feelings for you any more.

Hmm you edited your post. Trust me when I say that there is zero chance they are colluded amongst each other. And my boyfriend is perfectly capable of supporting himself. He has a job over here. The other one can support himself too (albeit barely).

By the way, after 12 years relationship, you really think "BF" is warrented ? Not everyone gets their boyfriends out of a gogo bar !

Way to miss the point, you are way off the mark here.

[cdnmatt]

As to being greedy, that's not fair, I didn't ask for all of this, it just happened.

And it just so happens, thinking with your dick instead of your brain tends to cause a world of hurt.

Enjoy your next trip to Asia.

[justaguy]

And it just so happens, thinking with your dick instead of your brain tends to cause a world of hurt.

Enjoy your next trip to Asia.

Touché.

I wonder how many people wouldn't think with their dick in this situation.

[cdnmatt]

Up to you dude. In my eyes, shrugging your shoulders and saying, "I'm only human" is a pretty lame excuse, especially when you're potentially throwing away a 12 year relationship.

There's a difference here. I think it's colmx who has a really open relationship with his BF, but they've previously discussed it, agreed, and are totally fine with it, so cool deal. You however went behind your BFs back, slept with one of his best friends, and are confused as to why he's so nonchalant about it.

Someone (or mulitple people) are going to end up really hurt out of this ordeal. Again, enjoy your next trip to Asia.

[justaguy]

Up to you dude. In my eyes, shrugging your shoulders and saying, "I'm only human" is a pretty lame excuse, especially when you're potentially throwing away a 12 year relationship.

There's a difference here. I think it's colmx who has a really open relationship with his BF, but they've previously discussed it, agreed, and are totally fine with it, so cool deal. You however went behind your BFs back, slept with one of his best friends, and are confused as to why he's so nonchalant about it.

Someone (or mulitple people) are going to end up really hurt out of this ordeal. Again, enjoy your next trip to Asia.

Yes, altough I would like to point out that initially I did not went behind my BF's back, we did it in plain view of him. I asked him about why he didn't stop me, and he said: I give for you, and when you're drunk, no-one can stop you.

I am fully aware that someone or even multiple people might get hurt by this. I just looking for a way to make this right.

What happened, happened, no way to turn back the clock, however I do think there's still a chance to make this right for all of us.

Oh, and he isn't nochalant about this, he feels very strongly about this now. Did you even read the OP ?

[cdnmatt]

I just looking for a way to make this right.

Make your mind up, and tell the other party it's over. That's the most humane thing you can do.

Don't string someone along telling them you love them, when in reality, you're chasing someone else. I've been strung along before in the past, and trust me, it hurts, so don't do it. Not the same situation as this, but nonetheless... We moved to Budapest from Canada, he decided he's not willing to tell his homophobic friends he's gay, so under the bus I went.

However, for years he kept telling me how much he loves me, probably because I was the bread winner. Even today if I drop him a message, he will tell me how much he cares & thinks about me. The relationship ending obviously sucked, but the part that hurt the most is he didn't know what he wanted, so decided to string me along instead. This lasted years, and it wasn't fun.

Don't do that to either, your BF or this new guy you have on the line. Pick one, be up front with the other, and let the chips fall where they may.

[colmx]

I think it's colmx who has a really open relationship with his BF, but they've previously discussed it, agreed, and are totally fine with it, so cool deal.

Yup that's me, but it was never discussed, just kinda evolved over the last 14 years or so... as we are both have predatory instincts - it kinda works for us

However on my second last trip in October I hunted a lot more than he did... and I was given a stern warning!
"If you want to have so many guys then come to Thailand - but don't let me know!"

That fairly much put me in my place!

[dinagam]

There is a practice in Thailand whereby a man can have a principal(official) wife, and at the same time keeping a second wife( mia noi ) or several more if he has the means. But this is done discreetly.