What rules do you implement for a Thai BF?

[bidreamer]

Well, the lies...for me the culture difference thing is that when thais interact it is my impression that they don't even expect to hear the real story, but a heavily customized version. Everybody knows it and plays along. Whereas at least in the part of Europe I come from, people would be annoyed to find out the actual story and feel that they are being taken for a fool. So for me the cultural adjustment part is to play along but at the same time not to give the impression of a stupid farang who can be made to believe anything. Well I don't realy know if I am succeeding...probably not.

The saving face thing, while certainly important, is not an explanation for everything. Sometimes it is just own conveniece, a lie doesn't lead (or so one hopes) to explanations and stuff. So for example, when I ask how his week has been, he always tells its boring, just work in hair salon and room (and he really does not like to party). But then I discover that he's actually taken the train to visit his friend in Laos.... I already know about that friend, so I ask' why you not tell me you go to see him....he says 'easier if I not tell'. And I don't even care what they do together, I fuck around a bit myself. So, cdnmatt, is it a 'gray' lie?

[cdnmatt]

So, cdnmatt, is it a 'gray' lie?

No, that's just a straight up lie and something I wouldn't tolerate. There's absolutely no legitimate reason for him to lie to you about going to Laos for a few days to visit a friend. More than likely, either he doesn't respect you, or you make him feel insecure. If that was me, I'd do something to rectify it. Either get pissed off and tell him to show me the same respect I show him, or let him know I am actually there for him, he can trust me, tell me anything and I won't get mad, but never lie to me.

Do you know how many times I got chewed out due to percieved lies? So how does this work? Thai guys are allowed to lie to our faces due to "cultural differences", but if we're ever caught in a lie, we get chewed out to no end? Not likely... honesty is a two-way street.

Then obviously, in every relationship there's those times when if you don't want to know the answer, don't ask the question. That comes into play quite a bit too, especially Thai-Farang relationships. I know I've done it quite a few times in the past. Nonetheless, if I ask a question, I expect the truth. Especially if it's someone I'm involved with, because then it impacts my life personally too.

[lego]

What a silly thread title, and then the usual drivel reminiscing Kim! Either the guy is a live-in house boy, then there can and should be rules of employment. Or he's a boyfriend, as in the title. Make up your mind, coz with that slaver attitude, you won't need to worry about finding a boyfriend anyway.

Hint: There's quite a broad spectrum between being a total pushover (10 ladyboys move in without your permission) and being a total ass who won't allow any visits by any friends. Extremist attitudes don't mix well with dating someone from another culture, I think that much is clear.