What rules do you implement for a Thai BF?

[Dodger]

cdnmatt wrote:

So there has to be some boundaries somewhere there, no?

I know for me there has to be.

The only boundary I have is my budget.

I stay within my budget for "boy fun" regardless if I have a live-in partner or running around on the town as a butterfly. Granted, I've spent way too much money on "boy fun" since discovering Thailand, but wouldn't change it for the world.

[cdnmatt]

Exactly. So what do you do when you have a live-in BF for 6+ months say? Obviously, we're the sponsor, and we know that. Do you put down strict guidelines for an allowance, or just play it by ear, and let your emotions take you for a journey?

There's no right or wrong answer there, and up to the individual.

[roguebear]

BF and I have a lot in common and we are very compatible so haven't needed any rules per se, but we do have our understandings. He is starting to grasp the idea of alone time, but I am the one to initiate. When he works it is manual labor, 9 hour days, 6 and sometimes 7 days a week paying 300 Baht per day. We are only able to spend a month per year together right now so I sure don't want him working while I am there. I asked him if he would like to work for me. The job is to be available to travel for the month when I visit and to study English a little bit each day. He can work or do whatever he wants the other 11 months. The job pays 300 Baht per day, paid once a month and he gets a little overtime when I visit. He accepted my offer and we are in year 2 with no problems. He likes to work so he does work most of the 11 months I am not there. He now has money to take care of himself and works to send money to the family. Before he was not taking very good care of himself because he was sending as much as he could to the family. The only hassle for him is finding a job when I leave.

[Tobi]

So am I paying too much?

Nah.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/3 ... ing-to-app

[francois]

The job pays 300 Baht per day, paid once a month and he gets a little overtime when I visit.

At that rate my BF would quit that job with me.

[Dodger]

cdnmatt wrote:

So what do you do when you have a live-in BF for 6+ months say?

I've only had one partner who lived with me for more than 6 months. In the early days (first 2 or 3 years) I would give him 1,000 baht/day. As time rolled on this daily allowance stuff stopped and we started planning by the month with plans to build a house together. We were together most of the time and of course I paid for everything plus we sent his mom 10,000 baht every month to help make life a bit easier for his family up on the farm. A few more years passed and the house was built. If we were still together I guess things regarding money would be pretty much the same.

I think the important thing is to realize that their mission in life is to have "good face" with the family, and helping to support their parents financially is just ingrained in them. In the West...two people meet...fall in love...form a relationship...and begin building a life for themselves as a couple. In Thai culture building a better life for the parents is always paramount. That's what can get expensive if not controlled. Either that, or find an orphan.

[Manforallseasons]

" I think the important thing is to realize that their mission in life is to have"(guote Dodger) a falang with access to this.

[sjaak327]

I find this thread a bit hilarious to be honest. Providing you guys aren't living together with a teenager, one would expect the subject being a relationship between adults.

I can only say that I personally am in a relationship with a Lao boy (does that count, I think it does, as the cultural differences aren't that great) for 12 years now.

Now the past 6.5 years we have been living together in the Netherlands. and we both have a paying job.

In our household there are no rules as such. Yes there are chores we need to do. And it might come as a surprise, but it is me who tries to get away from those chores, not him. So if anyone actually needs rules to be enforced, I think it might be me, not my boyfriend. Having said that, I often do those household chores anyway.

I guess maybe the one rule that applies is being faithful to each other, and again it is me who has been breaking that rule pretty recently. For which I am partially sorry.

In any case, rules in a relationship shouldn't be needed, unless you indeed date a teenager. Luckily my boyfriend is only 5.5 years younger than me, so hardly a teenager.

[Dodger]

jaak327 wrote:

I find this thread a bit hilarious to be honest. Providing you guys aren't living together with a teenager, one would expect the subject being a relationship between adults.

Who in the hell comes to Thailand to have a relationship with an adult...LOL...just kidding (kind of).

The average age gap in a farang/Thai boy relationship is probably somewhere around 30 years..at least from what I've observed, which ushers in a whole host of challenges that are not present in relationships between two adults of similar age regardless of the cultural differences.

If I embarked in a relationship with a guy my age (60 y/O), (which doesn't interest me in the least), I would fully expect that he would be working...paying half the bills...and remaining faithful, although at that point I really wouldn't care.

[loke]

I have to been giving my BF 1500 per day while I've been here (approx 2 months).
He gets fed and watered although he does get small things for me.
So am I paying too much?
As an aside after these two months how much has he left....answer nothing.
You couldn't dream it up!

1500 baht per day ? So that's around 45k per month . Up to you of course , but its a nice salary here in Thailand.

That's probably why I prefer to stay single in Thailand, I would never want to live a life like that myself . Instead I'll spend my money on boys if I need company for the night. I'm a butterfly anyway .

Also I am not rich so couldn't afford it anyway lol-.