Chiang Mai report

[a447]

I arrived at Chiang Mai airport and right from the start things started off badly and quickly got worse. Where do I start?

My driver wasn't waiting for me. It turns out he went to the international arrivals even though I'd told the hotel I was coming from Bangkok and gave all the flight details.

We got to the hotel and the first of today's 2 highlights was waiting for me ; the guy at reception is absolutely stunning!! Jesus! Just gorgeous!

I got to my room only to find the safe wasn't working. He came up to check it but couldn't fix it. Eventually I was able to use it by swiping my debit card.

Next, the WiFi wouldn't work on my iPad. The keyboard refused to pop up to allow me to enter my username, yet it allowed me to type in my password. WTF? It works ok on my iPhone so it's obviously a problem with the iPad.

Never mind ; I'll just go to 7/11 and pick up a sim card. But they didn't have one. Mr Gorgeous suggested I go to Tesco and get one from AIS. He told me I could walk there but a tuk-tuk passed by so I grabbed it. I asked him how much to go to Tesco and then into town. 100 baht. Done deal. He would wait outside for me.

AIS had a sim card but I didn't have my passport so I couldn't buy it. Please come back tomorrow. Fuck!

I went outside and my driver was nowhere to be seen. He'd just disappeared. No doubt he got A better offer. I waited for half an hour but he never came back. I approached a tuk-tuk in the car park but he demanded 200 baht. (How do you tell someone to fuck off in Thai?)

Never mind ; I'll start walking. One is bound to come by. But none did and I ended up having to walk the whole way back. Problem is I didn't pay attention on the way over so wasn't sure which way to go. I got completely lost and ended up wandering around for over an hour. A girl working in 7/11 is partly to blame - she sent me in the wrong direction.

Eventually I made it back to the hotel, totally exhausted. I was going to put my iPad back in the safe and then try and get a tuk-tuk into town for dinner. But there was a problem - the safe would not open with my debit card! I panicked.

I called reception but Mr Gorgeous had gone home. The girl told me it wouldn't be a problem because a technician could be called tomorrow. Tomorrow??

She eventually came to my room to take a look. Call Mr Gorgeous, I suggested. No, she couldn't do that as he'd already gone home. Well, call the manager. Sorry, he lives too far away.

She left and came back with a knife to open the access door for the key - the very same key she told me only the manager had! It didn't work so off she goes and comes back with a pair of scissors Again, no good. She suggested again that I wait till tomorrow but I insisted she had to open it tonight.

She disappeared and later returned with a technician who managed to get the screws out so the key could be inserted. But the key didn't fit! Turns out the girl had brought the wrong keys - they were for the safe in the room next door.

By now it was 10pm. Eventually she found a key that fitted and managed to open the safe. She tested it but it was kaputt.

Suddenly Mr Gorgeous turned up - you know, the guy she said she couldn't call. He just picked up the safe and walked out the door with it then came back with a new one.

So off to Adams Apple. I was surprised to see so many guys from my last visit - big cocked Korn, hugely hung Harn and Krazy K. He still can't dance, still can't stand still and still can't wipe that stupid grin off his face.

The outline of the boys ' cocks is clearly visible and there are some real monsters lurking in those briefs, including K's. Korn immediately recognised me and smiled. His appendage is truly enormous. I remember offing him last time but forgot if he was any good so I walked over the road to my hotel and checked out what I'd previously written about him on the forum. Yep, he was my best performer that trip so tonight he'd be the one.

He appeared in the show then kind of disappeared. Shit! He's been offer! Damn!

He suddenly reappeared and I managed to make eye contact with him. He came over to say hello and I grabbed him. He was mine!

Back in the room he undressed and put it in my hand. It was soft and felt wonderful. He fucked me last trip so I was really looking forward to tonight's performance.

He got onto the bed, rubbed it for a few seconds and up it came. Jesus! It's huge! How on earth did he ever fuck me with that??

On with the condom. He got the head in but it was quite painful. He somehow managed to get it all in but as soon as he started pumping away it really began to hurt.

'Can not?'

'No, can not. Sorry.'

'Ok. We chuck -wow.'

So we did. And for the first time in a long while I witnessed a truly magnificent cumshot.

'Sorry. I chuck-wow this morning. Tomorrow have bigger cum.'

You mean, that wasn't his normal cumshot??

So that was my other highlight of what was a very dismal first day in CM - a truly awesome cumshot.

As in the past, he showered and was quickly out the door.

Not sure if I'll take him again tomorrow as there are a couple of other guys who are also very attractive and well hung to boot. And I also got to talk to some lovely guys in the smoking room - it's the best place to get to know them. Their demeanour off stage is totally different ; they are very friendly and always willing to chat.

I just hope things go better tomorrow.

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[Jellybean]

The song, Things Can Only Get Better by D:Ream came to mind after reading about your several mishaps a447. At least you give us the warts and all reports and donтАЩt give us the false impression that all is sunshine and roses.

Enjoy the rest of your trip a447. Keep your reports coming.

[Oliver]

I was interested by the problems the poster had with his internet. In the days of "dial-up", I found the local internet shops almost useless while the ones in Bangkok and Pattaya were reasonably effective,
In recent years (and we travel to CM every eighteen months or so), none of the hotels I've used have been able to provide a service that comes anywhere near to that in Pattaya or Bangkok, or even Krabi.
It seems that this is an issue affecting Chiang Mai as a whole...or am I mistaken?

[a447]

I'm now back in my room after my plans went down the toilet yet again.

I was intending to go back to Tesco to get a sim card and then head into town for a massage at Two Brothers, so I walked up to the main street and waited for a tuk-tuk. And waited. And waited. Nothing.

I walked through the local market looking for one but, of course, no luck so I went back to the hotel and asked Mr Gorgeous to call me one. He phoned two drivers but they were unavailable.

So he then walked me back to the market to a mobile phone shop and half an hour later I was connected to AIS. Yay!! Problem is, she lost the little tool that opens the sim card slot on the iPad. Oh dear. Maybe a paper clip will do the trick.

The problem being stuck so far out of town is getting any transport. Tuk-tuks just don't come up this way and unless you have your own transport you're basically stuck here.

I noticed a new massage joint has just opened not far from here - It was mentioned in a gay magazine so I think I'll head off there now and take a look.its called Common Massage. I hope it's a mis-nomer!

[arsenal]

I love the idea of leaving the bar and going back to the hotel to check you own review of a gogo boy before offing him.

[anonone]

Interesting to read some reporting on Chiang Mai.
Sounds like transport is a real issue there. Is this more due to where your hotel is located?

Sounds like you would do better to concentrate some effort on Mr. Wonderful. Surely he can be seduced by your many charms...?

[a447]

I HATE Chiang Mai! I HATE IT! HATE IT! HATE IT!

I found a map on the net showing directions to Common Massage. Wow! It's only, like 10 minutes away at most. Ok, walk down the street and take the second soi on the left, then right then left. So easy!

Forty five minutes later I decided it was time to ask for directions. I was again in the middle of nowhere lost amongst the non -decript sois. You know you are hopelessly lost of you can't find a 7/11. I asked a guy in a bike repair shop but he doesn't know where soi Hussadhisawee was. I approached a couple of others but they also had no idea. This was weird. It's quite a large street with many shops how could you live / work in the area and not know?

I retraced my steps and ended up back at my hotel.

Ok, plan B. I'll find Tannin Alley. It leads off the nearby market and straight into soi Hussadhisawee. I walked down the street but couldn't see it. Perhaps they've closed? Never mind, I'll drop into Gemini Massage instead. It's on the same street. But it's closed! Shit!

I turned around and walked back, having given up, and then I saw it - a small sign just off the footpath. Common Massage.

The guy at reception told me the charge for 1 hour was 1,100 baht, including the tip for the masseur. He asked what kind of guy I was looking for. The way I was feeling - hot, sweaty and exhausted - anyone would do. Christ, just a pulse would suffice!

"A guy with a big cock,"

"Good. You've come to the right place."

I went into the room next door and 5 guys are lined up. No -one really stood out so I chose a tall, slim dark guy. I figured dark skin = from Isaan = big cock.

We went upstairs and I got undressed. He stripped down to his briefs, which he quickly removed at my request. I caught a quick glimpse of his cock before he turned the light off.
The room was now lit by a small dim light. What's the user of this? I can't see anything. But he wanted the light off. (Can't say I blame him...lol)

So without a shower the massage began. Now this guy has perfected the technique of avoiding the straying hands of horny farang - he's got it down to a fine art. Normally you get to feel his balls early on in the massage when he sits on your legs. Not this time. He played my legs and sat in between. And he made sure he was sitting at the end of the bed so I couldn't reach his goods. Every time I got close, he move away.

Of we'll, he'll probably start the fun when he turned me over. But he never did. He then stood up, handed me a total and pointed towards the shower.

Ok. So now I get it. I shower first and then the sex part begins. But as I stepped out of the shower I noticed the light in the room was back on. Forever the optimist, I thought I'd enter the room to see him naked on the bed ready for action. But he merely pointed to my clothes, indicating that was it. And it was.

I smiled and thanked him but I was furious. What a complete fucking waste of time. I've had many 'gay" massages over the years but never have I left without so much as touching the guys leg, let alone his cock! Never. Even if the guys don't want to have sex, they always offer at least a chuck-wow. And you always, always get your hands on cock. I mean, isn't that what' it's all about? It's a GAY massage place, for Christ's sake. Guys who refuse to do absolutely ANYTHING have no place here. He should be working at 7/11.

I went outside to put my shoes on. The door slid open. Oh no, it's the guy who's come to ask for a tip. Well, he can go fuck himself.

So much for Common Massage. I'm NEVER coming back! NEVER!!

I finally looked up and saw a a beautiful, handsome hunky guy smiling at me. Gorgeous! Where the fuck was he when I arrived?

"Hello. My name Tor. See you tomorrow?"

'Sure. No problem!"

[a447]

Apologies for the spelling mistakes in the report above. The edit function has gone missing.

[Nirish guy]

"The edit function has gone missing."

Ahhh I noticed that too and assuming it was something to do with my computer just, likewise the quote function button too etc I see - but they are still there actually and if you hover your mouse where you think they should be you'll see their functions still work when clicked, it does just seem that they have visually but not technically disappeared perhaps - Mr Surfcrest - any ideas re this ( ok who pressed a button they shouldn't have !! ?? lol )

Oh and great reporting A447, your style has changed a little of late and your reports are getting better and better ( and were always good to start with anyway) so do please continue. Although I should add that as I'm sitting here in N.Ireland having a shitty "family" Christmas my level of sympathy for you "only" getting to fuck with one guy with a big cock on your first night is of course somewhat limited :-)

[firecat69]

I have to agree. I love A447 trip reports. Never a dull moment!