Expats -- How do you handle long-term giks?

[cdnmatt]

For the expats, I'm curious, how do you handle long-term giks? Someone you want to meet on a regular basis, but aren't interested in an actual relationship with?

I'm assuming you have your nice, comfortable house and everything. Then you meet a guy, and for the first few times go to a hotel to get to know each other. After that, what do you do? Do you actually let them come to your house, or?

There's one guy I wouldn't mind letting know where I live, because it sucks at the hotel. You know, there's the hotel, then there's my nice house with 3 bedrrooms, 2 baths, loads of food, couple computers, good wi-fi, TV, playstation, etc. Plus it's just degrading towards him to meet at a hotel. That, and I don't like leaving my dogs alone too long at night. During the day they're fine, but at night they get scared being alone.

Would love to bring people back here, because it would be 10,000 times more comfortable for both of us. But... after Kim, I'm quite wary of that. What happens if we stop seeing each other in 6 months from now, even though I always straight-up tell them I'm not looking for a BF, and only looking for fun? I never lie, so I make it very clear I'm not looking for a BF, but instead just some fun times, and I'm happy to help with money.

Doesn't matter though, if I bring them here, and later on they can't afford rent or food, decent chance they will be at my door banging on my doorbell.

I had a condo a while ago for one guy, but he fucked off on me to Udon Thani, so I ended up breaking the lease and giving up my deposit.

So I'm unsure, for you exapts, how do you deal with long-term giks that you want to come around on a long-term basis, but don't want to become an actual BF with them?

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Most of us have more sense than not to live in a condo with security that keeps unwanted visitors at bay. A couple of my friends also have two phones - a cheap phone with a number they give out to boys, and their everyday phone. One even as "time of month" rules - he won't answer his boy phone between the last couple of days and the first few days of the new months - that's when the begging messages come because rent is always due at the beginning of the month

[cdnmatt]

Yeah, but I have two 30kg dogs who I love like my own kids, so condo is out of the question. That's actually the whole reason for the house -- need the gated yard. Besides, rent is only 12,000/month, so why not? I'd be lucky to rent a parking stall in Canada for that.

Guess I could always get a new house in a sub-division that does have 24x7 security, but ehhh... I'm pretty happy and comfortable here.

Can you actually hold a logical conversation cdnmatt? The price of garages outside Thailand is utterly irrelevant

[cdnmatt]

Can you actually hold a logical conversation cdnmatt?

If you can stop being a depressed, queeny bitch, I promise I can hold a logical conversation.

[Nirish guy]

So Matt asked a question about good idea to bring guys back to his nice house or not? Kommie answers with "are you crazy why would live in a house and not a condo anyway?" Matt then explains why and adds that at the great price he gets the rent for why WOULDN'T he live in a house, especially with his dogs to think of etc and goes on to give an example of what great value he believes it is it comparison to his home Country rental costs where upon Kommie then throws insults and gets on like a totally objectionable arsehole for no apparent reason when all Matt was doing was taking the time to answer his first question.

Yep, sounds about the norm for Kommie these days. Kommie you should really change your signature to "Why say something without coming across being a total dick to others most of the time these days"

[catawampuscat]

Threads asking for advise usually spin off and get personal.
Nobody listens to advise because they need to learn for themselves and advise is so
often simply bad.
Matt will figure it out in time.
His lifestyle is far from the usual and I imagine only one in a hundred would choose
living in a village, without a boy and only his dogs. It works for Matt and that's all that
matters.
Every git is different, every relationship is different and advise is worthless unless you
respect and value the giver.

[francois]

cdnmatt, my advice is keep your location secret from one and all. After all you have successfully eluded farang who attempted to visit you so why let some gik, as you phrase it, to know the location of your hideaway ? :-$

Tell one gik and the whole gik and gaboddle in Khon Kaen will be at your doorstep.

For me, I have a short-time accommodation for my guests who rarely, if ever, enter the inner-sanctum.

[bkkguy]

Threads asking for advise usually spin off and get personal.

whereas threads asking for advice ...

my guests who rarely, if ever, enter the inner-sanctum

is that a euphemism for you being a top?

bkkguy

[francois]

my guests who rarely, if ever, enter the inner-sanctum

is that a euphemism for you being a top?

bkkguy

Yes, sort of the Holy of Holies!