Rosetta Stone Thai language course

I'm gonna impress all my Thai friends next trip with a lecture about the Theory of Relativity in Thai, they gonna love me even more

"Theory of Relativity In Thai" Is that like Papa hit by moto'cy' in hospital; Mama-Mama (Grandma) fall in well--Need money...buy filter; Norng Chai have two baby...one broken leg; Pi Sao me knock' up (Again), sister Papa step on elephant?

Memo: Watch Thai soaps today, be ready for what's coming tomorrow.

[Bob]

Albert Einstein's 1905 paper "On the Electrodynamics of Moving Bodies" introduced the special theory of relativity. Special relativity considers that observers in inertial reference frames, which are in uniform motion relative to one another, cannot perform any experiment to determine which one of them is "stationary". This is known as the principle of relativity. [Admittedly pasted from some idiotic web source].

Now, an explanation in Thai might go something like this:
Somchai, on his motorcy, is driving like a bat out of hell rounding the Second Road/Pratamnak corner on his way to work at Throb. Gop, likewise driving near the speed of light (squared) on his motorcy, is approaching the same corner in the opposite direction, Gop heading to Jomtien because of the whale sighting (don't worry, it turned out to be some fat Aussie midget without a condom).
Edith, dressed in her finery (a yellow polka-dot mini-bra, red pleated skirt, and sandals with black socks), is attempting to cross the intersection on her souped-up zimmer frame while observing Somchai and Gop heading for her (as opposed to heading her) on a direct collision course. Edith's powers of observation have been somewhat diminished as she's just coming off a bender (or, was that she was bending over and just coming?).
Application of the thai version of the Theory of Relativity, the following conclusions are possible:
1) The only thing that's been stationary all month has been Edith (being prone with her legs in the air);and/or
2) Somchai and Gop end up at the temple mortuary and Edith will be paying for cows for both families for eons; and/or
3) In the massive collision, Edith is launched and lands on the Pattaya Water Tower and the tourist police give her a 500 baht ticket for leaving the scene of an accident.

[Dearest Spike, I plead guilty to egregious hijacking of a thread. And, for 200 baht, I'll tell you what egregious means...]

:cheers:

Tnx! I laughed my arse off!... (If only....)

Edith, dressed in her finery (a yellow polka-dot mini-bra, red pleated skirt, and sandals with black socks.)

Not socks, Opera hose--Of which I am the phantom.

for 200 baht, I'll tell you what egregious means...]

Don't waste your baht, Spike--It's that fru-fru evening gown of Pearl's with all the egrets on the shoulders... The one that makes `er look like like a knocked-up Dodo in flight.

signed;
The Phantom of the Opera Hose.