Thai guys on first romantic dates. I'm rusty

[Narakmak]

Narakmak began by getting everything wrong from the get-go, and things went predictably downhill from there. Talk about setting one's self up for disaster.
The last thing in the entire world that a Thai guy wants to do with a brand new farang acquaintance is to go on a date to dinner ... ("just us two", how romantic).
Thais love to eat communally when possible, they eat with family and/or friends, they speak at dinner ~ and laugh ~ in Thai (or Lao, or Khymer) only. Narakmak put himself in the position of having to break through four of five layers of Thai comfortableness before even sitting down: continually prodding for feedback (in english) regarding the menu only made matters more edgy. The Thai guy retreated to where he was most comfortable given the situation ... his cell phone: probably hoping to get some of his Thai friends on the line ... the one's he'd like to really have there at the table to make things easier in the presence of this fussy and serious farang.

All wrong ... all went wrong. 'Sanuk' went missing.

If Narakmak had of just invited his new friend out for a few drinks, gotten pleasantly and gently loaded, grabbed a bottle of whiskey, and retreated to the pool table for some snooker (20 baht to the winner of each game), things might well have gone much better.

Exactly right.

I couldn't improve on this adjudication.

Narakmak please note.

I hate to burst your bubble, but not all Thai men are the same.
This particular Thai man does not enjoy drinking at all.
No, I did not know that before I met him.
I think that's charming actually, but I don't like him otherwise.
I was willing to meet him at least half way, listening to what he wanted. That is something human about considering the other person. While I understand the thing very well about pushing things with Thais, I think it actually was a great "test" of his willingness to bother expending any energy at all to meet me half way (asking about the menu).
No, it was certainly not an intentional test, I am no saint, but I'm not that much of an A-hole either.
Yes westerners are different, he claims to want to be with a westerners in a long term relationship, and he's not willing to communicate about things. Forget about it! For me, it would be a total nightmare to live with someone like that. Now I'm curious, some of you guys can live with that? That seems crazy to me.
Yes I know what you're thinking, I'll probably never find a suitable Thai man with my attitude and you may be right. That's why I'm open to meeting Cambodians! (And others.)
I don't mind the hard nosed comments though. I can learn from them, consider what I do in future in light of that input, not that I'm buying all the advice verbatim.

[lego]

I agree with Narakmak, I don't think a dinner is necessarily bad for a first date, it works well with many Thais. I'd even say it's better than getting drunk with someone you don't know yet.

I've met quite a number of Thai guys for lunch or dinner first, and when that didn't go too well, I doubt any other activity would have been better. Always keeping in mind that I usually ask them for suggestions, so I wouldn't take someone to eat who doesn't mention that at all or who comes up with other ideas. Having a meal with someone, you get to know quite a lot about him in a short time and in a relaxed, noncommittal atmosphere, if you're observant.