Lives of/options for gay over-18 year old Thais.

[neddy3]

Agreed. The pleasant disposition of Thai boys who have few opportunities going for them is often very apparent. And welcome.

It makes a contrast to the Western culture.

[kittyboy]

WHY !? Not your fault that he wasn't very good or popular at his job - if I was crap at my job for whatever reason I wouldn't get a pass, I dont see why a Thai guy should be any different and if you didn't fancy him enough to off him that's not exactly your fault either.

To feel bad about that for 20 years is to me crazy - plus it was of course probably all just bullshit anyway and if you went back there the next week you would I'm sure have found him still working away.

For all you know if it WAS true that perhaps you actually did the guy a favour, as maybe his heart wasn't in the work hence why no offs and IF so he lost his job because of that non off then maybe he went back to work elsewhere, is much more happy today because of that and is in fact thanking you for that for all you know.

Either way I'm betting that 20 years later HE still doesn't feel bad about it (or even remember it or care).

I sometimes find posters responses interesting. This being one of those times. From my perspective it does not matter why the OP felt bad about not offing a deaf boy. Opinions about whether a person should or should not feel bad about not offing a deaf boy 20 years ago are opinions that reflect that posters opinions..and as like to say opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink.

For me, what is interesting is what feeling bad about not offing a deaf boys tells us about the OP.
Maybe the OP seems themselves are a decent person who wants to help others...or does not want to harm others..was asked to help someone and did not. I do not know..I am guessing but it may be they see their actions as not consistent with the view they have of themselves and it is that inconsistency that bothers them.
Just a thought.

[Oliver]

I suppose I should clarify....it was twenty years ago and so my recollections are not infallible. I was in Cockpit. At some stage, a group of the dancers approached me and pointed out a friend (in whom I had not been interested) and told me that he needed an off that night or he'd lose his job. Would I please off him? i didn't fancy him and so I said no. It was later- perhaps much later- that I recalled the event and regretted it.
The issue was not his deafness but his impending unemployment; the disability was relevant in so far as it was pointed out that he was deaf and this made it more difficult attract customers.
I was reminded of what happened during thc course of the fascinating discussion of the life-chances and opportunities for working-class youngsters in Thailand.

[Brad the Impala]

I am guessing but it may be they see their actions as not consistent with the view they have of themselves and it is that inconsistency that bothers them.

I think that's a very good point, and looking at Oliver's posts that may well be the source of the regret. I can relate it to a couple of instances in my own life, that still niggle at me, where I could have done more to help someone, and in hindsight should have.

[scottish-guy]

I had a thing going with a deaf lad at home for about 6 months, decades ago.

I can't remember whether it was before or after the thing I had going with the 3 midgets, but gentle readers will be relieved to know it wasn't during.

He was profoundly deaf, with two enormous hearing aids, and poor speech - when I was a kid we'd have called him "deaf & dumb" but of course that's politically incorrect now.

His deafness caused few problems really and he lived in an apartment with two other young lads who were similarly afflicted.

[dinagam]

Did you try setting up a sound equaliser with a screen to project the graphics so that the deaf lads could have noted the pitch and intensity of the groans and moans in the room?

[joe552]

Coincidentally, I'm due to have a hearing test next week, and it's like I'll need a hearing aid.

[scottish-guy]

Did you try setting up a sound equaliser with a screen to project the graphics so that the deaf lads could have noted the pitch and intensity of the groans and moans in the room?

No it wasn't a gang-bang I was only involved with the one of them - don't let's exaggerate!!

[bobsaigon2]

Hope the hearing aid won't be necessary, Joe, but if it is, at least they are quite small these days.

I've an American friend who sometimes went with the boys to the discos. At first I couldn't understand how he could bear the noise. Then I realized that he couldn't hear a thing. He wears two hearing aids, easily removable at discos. Incredible lip reading skill he has.

[scottish-guy]

I always wear ear protection at discos in Thailand or Vietnam - of the type where the volume is clipped to a safe level, but speech can still be heard

I already have bilateral tinnitus and I don't need it made worse thanks to the unregulated sound pressure levels they operate at.