Non-offable boys

[christianpfc]

Non-offable boys

As if I hadnтАЩt had enough trouble and deception and disappointment in finding sex (IтАЩm not even talking about love!) in Thailand, now I became a victim of the тАЬnon-offable boyтАЭ as well.

Saturday 18.05.2013

After having sat at Hotmale bar (water, 40 Baht) for two hours and observing the passing traffic, I stroll through Soi Twilight and there he is, the boy of my dreams at Scorpion Bar! He even smiles at me and invites me to the bar. I ponder if I should go eat first but it is starting to rain, so I enter. Another boy sits next to me and asks if I would like a massage (neck and shoulder), I agree. After massage, he asks for 100 Baht tip, which I give him. Should he have mentioned that the massage is not for free or should I have asked if the massage is for free? But thatтАЩs not my point.

I ask him to call over the cute boy and offer him (the cute boy) a drink. The cute boy does not speak English, so I try in Thai, only to learn that he is Vietnamese. Communication was impossible, I tried in English and Thai, he didnтАЩt understand anything I said and I only understood тАЬmai ruuтАЭ, so everything reported furthers is translated by staff (it seems he understands their Thai).

He is 18 years old (but could be underage, I should have had my request to see the passport translated, so I could be sure about age and know how long and how often he has been in Thailand).After fruitless attempts at conversation, I ask to off him. I wonтАЩt let language problems between us.

Staff member one says he cannot go off because he is new boy, only drinking and talking (if you speak Vietnamese!).

There is a slight probability that the Vietnamese boy I had in Fresh Boys last year badmouthed me because we had a very unpleasant negotiation of his tip (he wanted 2000 for short time, I finally shoved him out of my hotel room with 1600) and this message spread via other boys to this boy.

I donтАЩt give up, wait until another staff member walks past and ask again. Same answer. Finally, they call the owner. He is Thai, but lives in Paris most of the time (he is fluent in Thai, English and French as far as I can judge and has local knowledge of Paris, so I believe him that he speaks Chinese and Vietnamese as well). The cute boy is family (whatever that means) and cannot go off at all, not now and not later. He has been working there for almost a month (didnтАЩt notice him before, should have asked to see his passport!) and returns to Vietnam every 30 days to get a new visa.

Now I wonder: how does he earn money if he canтАЩt be offed? I even wonder how other Vietnamese boys who can be offed, but have to do a visa run every 30 days, can come out with a positive balance (even if they get 2000 for short time).

I pay for our drinks (orange juice, 100 Baht each), no tip for waiter, no tip for boy. I donтАЩt go to bars to drink or to chat with boys (if I could speak Vietnamese), I go to off!

I should have told the owner that I feel deceived.

After four years of whoring around in Thailand, I became slightly jaded, so the moments are rare that I see a boy and within milliseconds I know тАЬthis one and nobody else for tonight!тАЭ. This is the second time it happened this year.

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[bucknaway]

I enjoyed that post so much! I can't stop laughing! :notworthy:

[Brad the Impala]

Thanks Christian for sharing your frustrations. It may be the situation that the object of your lust is already spoken for. Possibly is the owner's boy. Bizarre as it may seem, the owner may feel that he is safer in the bar under the eyes of his staff, than out of sight with his own friends somewhere else. He may be a trophy in a golden, alright gilt, cage.

He may alternatively be so prized that he is not available to all and sundry for occasional offs, but is perhaps looking longer term......and higher.

[jfarmer017]

A few thoughts, which may or may not have anything to do with your particular situation:

1) As a general rule, hosts have more leeway to refuse customers than traditional "go-go" boys.

2) If a guy does not want to go off with somebody for some reason, it is not unusual for staff to make something up to keep the customer from losing face.

3) The commercial sex industry in Bangkok geared towards foreigners is a relatively small group and word travels fast. I think big arguments over relatively small amounts of money are self-defeating. Four hundred baht after all is only only $12 or $13 USD.

4) If I was having regular difficulty finding satisfying sexual partners in Bangkok, I would probably examine what role my behavior was having before looking at what others were doing (or not doing) to me.

5) Even though the sex business is a business, it's still a business that involves human beings, and most human beings (regardless of language or national origin) do not like being treated like objects who are always available for a price.

6) A guy asking for a tip after giving a massage is absolutely standard in "the industry."

[adman5000]

Christianpfc, Thank you for sharing your experience.

I agree wtih JFarmer017 and I think in his last comment he is being too polite. Let me be blunt. I think you are being too cheap. If the boy who gave you a massage had to "ask" for 100 baht tip, and you did not tip the waiter or the boy you were interested in, do you think you improved your future chances at this bar? I think not. Also, you allowed another boy to touch you first, you probably were observed being surprised at being asked to tip 100 baht, THEN expressed an interest in the boy you really wanted. I would have asked to have the wanted boy to sit with you immediately.
Also on leaving, I would have tipped the waiter or captain. In fact, sometimes when I decide to off a boy and then sometimes upon leaving see another boy I am even more interested in, I slip him a tip and smile. Now who do you think he will remember next time?
I would consider testing my suggestion. I understand you may be on a tight budget. But then don't go out as often, but when you do, be a lot more generous. I know it took me a while to become this way because 100 baht or 200 baht seemed like so much. But when you consider what it is in your home currency, it is a small amount. Also try buying a drink for someone who can help you such as the captain.
As you say you are not going to drink or talk to boys but to off. Well, if you aren't being successful enough in offing the one you want, try showing you are more friendly and generous and use that time/money investment to improve your image with the boys/staff. It might help your success in offing.

We all want you to be successful in your adventures because we all enjoy hearing about them since we are not there and would like to be. Go get'em. Good luck.

[christianpfc]

I included the neck-and-shoulder-massage only because I was never offered a massage in a gay bar all the time I have been coming to Thailand. The cold towel and the peanuts were free (included in the price of the drink).

The non-tipping (cute boy and waiter) was not due to lack of money, it was because I was not happy with the situation.

I admit I'm a cheapskate (but I can be generous, I am on good terms with the doormen at Classic Boys, and when they asked me under the right circumstances, I gave them 100 Baht for beer, and I have given money for food to boys at Saranrom Park, but not everytime they ask and not everyone - that would attract the wrong kind of attention), but I'm not on a tight budget.

I walked past that bar many times, so staff probably recognize me, but this is the first time I had a drink there.

In fact, sometimes when I decide to off a boy and then sometimes upon leaving see another boy I am even more interested in, I slip him a tip and smile. Now who do you think he will remember next time?

I occasionally do that (tip boys 100 Baht that just fail to meet my standards for an off by a bit), and two cases I remember hand a positive outcome. One was a host boy in Sunee (now living in Switzerland), whom I later found on gayromeo, and believe it or not, he went with me for free the next time we met.

[latintopxxx]

i dont even know where to start...talk about doing everything wrong and then poisoning the well .......

[Impulse]

This is the second time it happened this year.

I'm curious what happened the first time. Yes I think you were being a cheapskate. Maybe you should stick to regular gay bars where you don't have to pay anything, or go out less often to the comercial bars, but when you go spend a bit more money.

[christianpfc]

The second time that I see a boy and think "this one and no-one else". Usually I think "I might come back for this one" and note bar and number. The first time was in X-Boys Pattaya. I ogle him, and shock! another customers calls him over. Fortunately only for drinking, the customer leaves soon after. Then the boy smiles at me (again!) I smile back, and he sits down next to me and doesn't even ask for a drink! I quickly establish that he is willing to go with me and off him. Back in my hotel room good sex, however he is straight and doesn't show much activity, but that is compensated by a wonderful body! We have a chat in Thai (great success! We can exchange many sentences without difficulties to understand him) before he has to leave.

On my next visit to Pattaya, I had the misfortune to go to his bar to off him again when there was a contest, so I could not off him during the contest and after the contest, the Farang he lives with came to pick him up! (Part of my 3 months report.) With hindsight, just bad luck and slow uptake on my part.

Looking forward to off him again (or even better an afternoon arrangement).

[scottish-guy]

The farang he lives with seems to be very broadminded about what the boy gets up to.

Does anybody else know of situations like this where the boy lives with a farang but rents himself out?

I don't normally think of myself as narrow-minded (although I did get called a"prude" on here once) - but this seems a little out of the ordinary.

Christian, you certainly have a knack for falling into oddball situations LOL