Best thing you can do for a Issan boy?

Sorry, Matt, I forgot

Conscription which Kim should be coming up for soon. There was a plethora of posts on how best to avoid it last year.

[Beachlover]

When you think about it, why shouldn't that option be available anywhere in the world, if it brings two satisfied parties together and they each get what they want. Kinda makes you think that Thailand is the one place that best comes close to allowing such a simple, mutually advantagious transaction like that.

I thought it was [available anywhere in the world]... except in Western developed countries the cost is probably too high for most on this board. Hence, why guys go to to Thailand where it's cheaper... it's geographical arbitrage. (Not to mention because by nature Thai boys are so friendly and lots of fun to be with).

I think a lot of Thai boys are "opportunists" as well. They're ordinary students or service workers who don't mind sleeping with an older guy to get a bit of cash... but they wouldn't define themselves as prostitutes. .. I think this is something you won't find as common in wealthier Western countries.

I'm pretty sure some of the boys I've picked up at DJ Station are "money boys". They just didn't charge me. Someone told me they are opportunists... ordinary Thai boys who want to have a great night out. But if they happen to hook up with an older farang they make some money as well.

I also found in some Asian cultures, there's less taboo in paying for sex. I spent a night out with a client's team recently... they had this particularly charismatic and good looking work experience student from China... the subject of conversation jokingly came round to prositutes... and he blurted out something like... "yes, why not" lol.

He goes on to say, "yes, why not... prostitute is great... I mean... sometime you just finish exam... and you feel depressed and you want to have sex... so you go to prostitute and is great!... You just have sex with her... and just pay her... you don't have to clean up or anything!" LOL. Everyone was half rolling around laughing and half slightly stunned but then this guy was known for surprising everyone.

[cdnmatt]

As became very clear, he wasn't.

Sorry to hear it didn't work out very well in the end, but sounds like you're in a great relationship now though. Who knows, maybe Kim and myself will turn out to be a disaster as well. However, regardless of what happens in the future, I do know that it's worth trying. And I do know that backing down because I might get (really) hurt in the future is no excuse to pursue things to the fullest. You only live once.

Education.

Thanks again for the well thought out response, but honestly, he's not interested in becoming educated. I honestly agree with him too, because as it stands, it's futile and there's better things he could be doing with his time. For example, I think him dedicating himself to becoming a monk would be a better use of his time than working towards a high school diploma. He's only worried that his little brother and sister get a good education, but as for himself, isn't too interested in the concept.

Fund a Business.

Tons of farangs have done this, and you only need to spend a week or two in Pattaya to see this. Of course I wouldn't care if he was capable of paying me back or not. I wouldn't be entering into it as a typical business relationship, wouldn't be looking for a profit (or to even break even), and obviously I wouldn't be anywhere near as critical as I generally would be with business relationships involved in my work. Really, funding a business is going to cost what in KK? 500,000 for a small 15 table place, maybe? Sure it's enough to worry about, but if I lose it, it's hardly the end of the world. I'm not going to lose any sleep over it.

And no, I don't want to be his business partner. Friends and business don't mix. He's my boyfriend who I'm hoping to love and live with for years to come, so the last thing I'm going to do is get business involved in the relationship. If he turns a profit, then great, and we're both better off. If not, then no worries, shit happens, and life goes on. Getting involved in a business together means all the stress, headache, and responsibility that running a business entails slowly encroaches in our relationship, which I won't let happen. Not to mention, I want it to be HIS, not OURS.

Money.

I agree. That's actually why he didn't get any presents for his birthday, and these days, I've been quite stingy with my money. I was actually worried as to whether or not he'd be pissed because of how little I did for his birthday. Turns out, he was ecstatic, which was great. Regardless, right now he still knows the value of hard work and money, and I don't want to see that ruined by me throwing around a bunch of cash. Hence what I meant before by "coming down to their level", which you gave me hell for. :P

And yes, I know, I know I'm being a hypocrite, because I used to throw tons of cash his way. Live and learn I guess, eh?

Love.

Love is love is love. It's one of those things you can't explain in words, but yeah, it's definitely there. Whether or not it lasts, nobody can tell. Honestly though, in several ways, this is more of a genuine relationship than my actual, genuine marriage ever was. I can very easily see Kim and myself happily living together in five years from now, without question, as the dynamics are there. I could never say that with my ex.

Feeding the Monks. You don't "wake up at 6am three times a week, so (you) can go to the temple, and give the monks some food". You wake up at 6am to give them food on the street, or you give them food in the temple around 7.30; not both.

Sorry, I should have said, "going to the gate of the temple, to give food to the monks". Same shit. You've been in Thailand alot longer than me, so I actually have a question about that. I understand the food and flowers, but I don't understand the reasoning behind slowly pouring a small cup of water into a bowl, while the monk recites / says whatever. What's that about? The best explanation Kim could give was to fend off ghosts, but I'm assuming there's more to it than that, and he just said that due to the language barrier.

Conscription which Kim should be coming up for soon. There was a plethora of posts on how best to avoid it last year.

Yep, no worries, and I'm aware of it. Obviously though, that's all I'm willing to post on a public forum regarding that subject.

Wow, long post... anyway, I guess time will tell! This is definitely one of those times in life where I'm happy to be alive though, and looking forward to what each day brings. You don't get that very often, so I'm savouring it while I can, but hopefully it'll last for years to come. Nonetheless, thanks for the lengthy, and well thought out response.

[cdnmatt]

I take it you've told him that he's going with you and not to worry?

Actually, it's the other way around. I'm going there (Khon Kaen), and hoping to hell he'll be there for me (which I know he will be). :-) I'm going to head to KL for a bit to visit my parents, then goto Lao to get a double entry tourist VISA, which gives me 6 months in Thailand. Then I take the bus to Khon Kaen, and Kim will pick me up there. Then Kim will visit his family and friends while I'm gone, and (hopefully) rent a nice house for us to live in, hookup all the utilities, etc. That's the plan anyway.

But no, he's actually been awesome in the past couple days. He doesn't seem worried anymore at all. I think that breaking down over the past week, and me being there for him cemented things that much more. That, and I let my guard down a bit more too, and let him in on some secrets as well. Plus I've broken down a bit when he did as well. Like I've always told him, "mua-lia kun sanuk, pom sanuk. mua-lia kun long-hai, pom long-hai" (when you're happy, I'm happy. when you cry, I cry).

The future looks quite interesting, that's for sure. Living in Issan, talk about an adventure. :-)

[Beachlover]

I think it's fantastic. Yours is the kind of story I come to this board to read about. Probably the best thing this board's had going in the past year.

Good luck!

The future looks quite interesting, that's for sure. Living in Issan, talk about an adventure. :-)

Won't you get bored without the accruements of Western living around? I guess if you can speak Thai and all it's not too hard, but I always find that I REALLY appreciate whatever morsels of Western stuff I can get occasionally. Would seem boring to live in the countryside without things you're used to around. You guys that do do that I admire. Let us know how it goes.

[cdnmatt]

Won't you get bored without the accruements of Western living around? I guess if you can speak Thai and all it's not too hard, but I always find that I REALLY appreciate whatever morsels of Western stuff I can get occasionally. Would seem boring to live in the countryside without things you're used to around. You guys that do do that I admire. Let us know how it goes.

What do you mean? I'm not going to be living in his mama's village, or anything. We'll be living in Khon Kaen city, which is bigger than Pattaya, and has more than everything I need. I'll have my 7-11, Tesco, a few farang restaurants, and basically all servicing for anything I need. I guess it doesn't have go-go bars, or a well-defined gay scene, but that's not much of an issue for me.

But no, not worried at all. Only two concerns are the language barrier, and the fact that there aren't many farangs around, so I'm unsure how the locals will take to me. I've been warned by many people many locals will generally be shy and reserved, because they're not sure how to deal with a farang, even if I am a nice farang. The language barrier I'm not too worried about. I should know more Thai than I do, but nonetheless, I know enough to get around, and what I don't know I'm sure I'll be learning quickly. That, and I've lived in enough countries now to be prepared for what's to come; the language barrier, culture difference, etc.

I'm actually really looking forward to it. Pattaya is a great place for a holiday and to party, but it's a horrible place to settle down, have a nice, modest house, be in a stable relationship, etc. Pattaya is no good for that at all, but Khon Kaen is. I can't wait. Just a nice, typical, routine based life. Then go on a holiday once or twice a month during the weekend, or something. That's all I really want.

Won't you get bored without the accruements of Western living around?

Doesn't a Yale man know what an accoutrement is?

If you don't mind, please take your immature little bitch fest out of my thread. Thank you!

Seriously though, my 5yo nephew has more maturity than some of the posters here display.

I have to agree completely.

This "forum" continues to disappoint me with the constant negative attitudes and comments to other posters. It is not only disrespectful to other people's points of view but also childish. Thank god I can log onto gaytingtong.com and converse with other forum members that are mature and respectful.
My Thai partner (from Isaan region - Nongkhai) can not believe some of the comments contained within this thread. Some are downright insulting and wrong. How dare people generalise. Lets start generalising us "farangs" - fat, old, ugly men who just go to Thailand because that's the only place they will get a f*** because they can afford to pay for it!
My Isaan partner and I have been together for over a year and he now lives with me in Australia and he works hard, plus studies, and helps with all the house chores. Yes he came from a poor family etc. but he is determined to succeed. (as with all his Thai friends I know).
Maybe if some of the "farangs" think they will find a life partner by picking something up from a bar wake up and realise that you have to get out into the REAL Thailand to meet the man of your dreams!

Feel better I got that off my chest now

Cheers,

Steve

[Beachlover]

I can't wait. Just a nice, typical, routine based life. Then go on a holiday once or twice a month during the weekend, or something. That's all I really want.

Geez... thinking like an old man already :blackeye: