Best thing you can do for a Issan boy?

I try to convince myself that I've got it all figured out, and that leads to generalizations (no money, no honey), but then I see something like Matt's account of his BF's birthday party, and I feel somewhat guilty that I have so frequently dismissed the "love factor", and I force myself to wonder how much of the "love" that various boys have professed is genuine emotional love, and how much is simply gratitude for financial support. I suppose I would have a VERY different outlook if even just one of "my boys" was originally non-commercial. Haven't yet been in a realtionship with a self-supporting individual, and at nearly 70 yrs of age, I guess that's not likely to happen this time around.

Best of luck to Matt and the small number of other posters who appear to have something very special going on in their lives.

[Diec]

My goodness LMTU, you sure have come back in full force considering you were dieing of tooth cancer last month. Or were you just making up a lovely story about you dieing from tooth cancer to try and make yourself more interesting? Who knew a shot of chemo would make all of your problems dissapear. Your bi-line indicates you had stem cell work. Well...we both know that's a little lie, huh? You little fibber you! I was going to say more but frankly, you bore me so I'm done.

[cdnmatt]

If you don't mind, please take your immature little bitch fest out of my thread. Thank you!

Seriously though, my 5yo nephew has more maturity than some of the posters here display.

some jackass like myself

my 5yo nephew

my thread

So being a jackass runs in the family?

I see that in what Matt is saying. One can imagine the type of mind- and type of loving- that allows these guys to pull off getting close to us, giving themselves up for sex, trying to make a living and all at the same time not hate themselves for being whores. Even worse is the realization that creeps into their consciousness...somewhere...that the guys they are trying to connect with view them as a 1000 baht fuck, to be tossed away after a few hours. I totally get that glimmer Matt's bf experienced...that part of him that saw that Matt actually went beyond any expectation and did something from his heart- no matter how incidental it might have been. I wonder, given Matt's depiction of the act as not much of an effort, if Matt himself was stunned at the revelation, and if he was transformed at all.

What's funny for me is that I tend to pick straight guys and they all are so keen to keep the friendship going even after it's obvious there's no future. They try so hard to keep the connection, though it's impossibly incoherent to be a thai bf to a gay farang when they obviously are not gay and only want the daddy aspect. I wonder if the lack of a strong father figure drives that dynamic.

[Geezer]

I

my 5yo nephew has more maturity than some of the posters here display.

Wow how frightening that you look that close at him, only 5 you say :thebirdman:

LMTU, you must be the only person to draw such an implication from cdnmattтАЩs post.

Many people are aware it costs 500,000 bt. to avoid arrest for having an underage boy.

[cdnmatt]

I wonder, given Matt's depiction of the act as not much of an effort, if Matt himself was stunned at the revelation, and if he was transformed at all.

Not really, no. It did make it hit home as to how intrinsically alone he truly feels, but that's about it. I know he loves me though, and he's actually broken down a few times in the past week now. He'll start crying, and saying things like the only time he's ever been happy is with me, he never really had a mama or papa, never had a chance to be a typical student with his friends, etc. He's always been working in other cities throughout northern Thailand. I'm heading out of country right away for a couple weeks, and when I come back, and going directly to Khon Kaen to start our new life there. So he's pretty worried that I'm not going to come back for him, hence why he's been so emotional lately.

Matt,

I take it you've told him that he's going with you and not to worry? Is it that he doesn't believe you or is the Thai mindset of believing only in living today and he can't grasp that you've planned out for him a future that includes the both of you? We're all familiar with the 'live today, don't worry about tomorrow' attitudes that Thais seem to have. In this case, it appears that just the act of you leaving the country is far more threatening to him than the solace that you plan to come back and take him with you to start your new life. Maybe they can't concieve that planning ahead actually produces good results, and not just disappointment.

The guy seems like you say, very alone. I hope it works out for the both of you. Strange how if you were to take the classic Thai attitude toward him it would be a reversal of the roles many of us have to play while in Thailand.

[CoffeeBreak]

Reading what cdnmatt says about himself and his b/f , it sounds like they both need each other and are well suited. So hopefully we can be kept informed about how the relationship develops.


:love4:

[blueboy]

I agree with matt.

How can you generalise about all Thais boys being whores, thieves ad liars - very sad indeed.

I am in a relationship with a ex-bar boy for 4 years now. We spend a lot of time together and I truly love him, and love his companionship. I believe there is a strong bond between both of us, and yes being 20 odd years younger, I don't expect him to have the same feelings as me, but I know he is happy with me which in turns makes me happy. I do not control his life, wouldn't want to. I am helping him at his pace to think and grow and hope I am doing some good.

I treat him as an equal which is what most people on this board don't do, and why it goes wrong.

However, a relationship is not for everyone and also appreciate some just want to use them for short time fun - please treat them well and they will in return.