Best thing you can do for a Issan boy?

[Beachlover]

Responding to the OP...

I don't think you can rule education out... it would be suitable for some boys. I think the issue is many "sensible" farang would just think this is the best way to go so education becomes the "default" way to help and Isaan boy... which is wrong because it's not suitable for every boy. You're definitely right it's not realistic for every boy... and formal education is definitely not a pre-requisite for success.

I like the idea of funding a business... especially through a loan (I think most farang just give the money to the boy to start the business... loan is better) so he feels more self sufficient (i.e. he did it himself... all you did is offer a little "boost").

[allieb]

I think if the boy has a certain amount of drive... and really wants to get into studying something... then great... give him a little boost (support him). But I think picking up a boy and pushing a "better life" on him won't always work. Like someone else said... there's a reason why these kids dropped out of school. Family circumstances are a common reason, but often, it's because they lacked the desire to finish.

I don't think for a moment they lack desire to finish. The type of boys we meet in our Thailand have often been encouraged by their friends to get into prostitution and told of the earnings potential. Not much different from us Farang in a way. I would always go for the easyest way to earn a quid or two. I left school at 15 and have always done well.

[bao-bao]

I think Beachlover made a valid point when he said:

In many cases... if the boy wants to be educated, they'll get out there and make it happen for themselves... or at least go part of the way to making it happen.

I think if the boy has a certain amount of drive... and really wants to get into studying something... then great... give him a little boost (support him). But I think picking up a boy and pushing a "better life" on him won't always work. Like someone else said... there's a reason why these kids dropped out of school. Family circumstances are a common reason, but often, it's because they lacked the desire to finish.

There have been a number of valid points made in this thread, from a variety of viewpoints. My belief is there must be a sincere desire and willingness in a person's mind to make an improvement in their life, and communication is the key to understanding that. Sadly, we тАУ as outsiders тАУ seldom have the skills to communicate well enough to understand.

Part of the problem is a failure to have a true understanding of the desire as it exists in the guy's mind. Few of us Westerners can grasp the multiple levels of logic (or non-logic), societal obligations and cultural nuances involved. Add to that the unfortunate colorings of personality and desires that invariably occur when a "country boy" becomes "Westernized" and things can be mighty difficult to interpret. So what do we do? We do what we think would work in Farangland and then get unhappy when it doesnтАЩt turn out as we envisioned it.

In some cases itтАЩs best to remember the old saying тАЬDonтАЩt try to teach a pig to sing. ItтАЩs a waste of your time, and it annoys the pigтАЭ.

I have made both financial gifts and loans to Thai friends. With the sole exception of a guy who justified his entire philosophy on life - one that fell a little to the left of тАЬwhoopeeтАЭ тАУ (his usual justification delivered with a shrug was тАЬI am Voy Boy!тАЭ) they have been properly used and the loans repaid. Voy was so Westernized he was beyond hope, and I should have known better. The others have used the funds constructively.

You can provide the tools, but it's up to the guy to choose if he wants to build a house or just hit himself on the head with it. Simply throwing money at a problem is rarely the answer.

[Diec]

I will tell you what the best thing is to give an Issan boy. First, it is not to shower them with money or to fund a business for them. They will not ever understand the value of the money, or how hard we as gay farang had to work for that money. Education is also not the way to go. Most of these boys only think in the "now" and do not really plan for their future, especially stupid farm boys from the north. Most of these farm boys do not have any direct contact with successful people and therefore do not understand the value of an education. After all, they make a pretty handsome profit selling themselves on the street.

What these lovely young lads need is a huge dose of LOVE. They don't want our stinking money, they simply want our love. When you give love to these boys, they become richer than they ever thought they could be in their wildest dreams. Love is the universal language, and once these boys know that they have your love, your trust, your devotion, they will do almost anything to make you happy. Yes, there is almost a 50 year difference between me and my future husband, but the love he has for me, and the love I have for him carries us to a realm that many on this board have never experienced.

It's always easy to give money, but when you give your love, it needs to be earned, and once you give your love unconditionally, everything else will fall into place.

What these lovely young lads need is a huge dose of LOVE. They don't want our stinking money, they simply want our love.

You've got to be kidding!! If you really believe what you write, you should try sticking your head into the next pool of cold water you come across and then think again.

I have lived in Thailand for 2 years and then returned to the west to finish my studies. I know a fair bit of Thai, and I see the hordes of either female ex-prostitutes or male ex-massage/barboys roaming the scene cafes and discos here. I even have a few Thai friends from that "scene" as well as Thais who came here for studying (which mostly turns out exceptionally hard for them, by the way). These groups (students vs. "garee") do not mingle at all as one group is disgusted by the other and the other cares only for parties, sex and drugs.

There are uncountable numbers of "boys" who have farang sitting at home why they have a good time partying and picking up guys for a "gig", and still manage to play the farang for a fool, such that he never finds out what's going on.

What they want ist: YOUR MONEY. Both your cash and your more "long-term" assets such as your house and car, and all other fine things that we farang tend to get during the course of our lives (inheritances, etc.).
Yes, they make you FEEL they love you, both because they are incredible actors (ever heard the phrase: "lie like Siam"??) and because you're their best chance at a secure future. They are prepared to give a lot for that.

They even give in to your stupid desire to make them "study" your native language or study at universities, although they tend to fail quite quickly. There's also a good way to get quick money out of the farang bf if he insists the thai "should earn his own money", such as losing (= selling) one's mobile phone in the disco and getting the bf to pay for a new one. I won't continue the list here...

But don't dare fall ill, or lose your wealth. Then you will see how fast they run away with their "alternatives".

In my humble opinion, there is only one way to deal with this: As far as rent boys are concerned, fuck and forget. If you like them, give them a tip. Even a very generous tip will never compare to what you're about to lose once you "import" them to your country.
If you want a reliable and truthful bf who really loves you, you have to try to get people who at least have a minimum of education and have learned the importance of hard work in life. Problem is: These people, being Thai, will be both shy and nearly unable to speak English. Unless you manage to find the needle in the haystack.

Diec - wrong. Tiuri - Right.

[cdnmatt]

Diec - wrong. Tiuri - Right.

Both, Diec and Tuiri generalizing = wrong.

[Smiles]

I assume the original post refers to (1) a bar boy, or someone that has been otherwise picked up for sex, and/or (2) someone you are not particularly interested in long term?

If that is the case, I suggest forever discarding the paternalist do-gooder schtick and simply asking him what he'd prefer as a one-shot-deal gift from heaven.

If he says 'money', then give it to him ~ for that's what he'll probably say ~ and attach no strings whatsoever on it's end use. Attempting to guess what would be best for any individual, or ~ even worse ~ decide for him is a waste of time, money, and energy, and will only be a salve for your own ego and/or sense of need: Thai guys being of course the white man's burden.

[Surfcrest]

Tiuri.....that was perfect, a great post! :hello1: :hello1: :hello1:

Attempting to guess what would be best for any individual, or ~ even worse ~ decide for him is a waste of time, money, and energy, and will only be a salve for your own ego and/or sense of need.

So many of our members are, however, absolute experts on the motives and wants of other people. You have only to read what some of those who believe themselves to be intelligent write in attributing motives, feelings and desires to their fellow posters, almost none of whom they have ever or will ever meet, based on their reading (and in some cases misreading) of what that person has written, without any ear for tone. So when it comes to "knowing" what a Thai boy they're fucked once or twice really, really wants, let alone a Thai boy someone else has fucked once or twice but they themselves have never met, then they are world experts. Get a grip Smiles.

Definition of expert: X is an unknown quantity and a spurt is a drip under pressure. (It's not original; I read it somewhere, possibly even on Sawatdee. Was it homintern? Doubtless that fool PeterUK (speaking of experts) will think so. BTW Pete, it's possible to delete PMs before you read them, which is what I do with yours to me.)