Best thing you can do for a Issan boy?

[cdnmatt]

Let's see if this sparks a decent discussion. I'm sure many (most?) of us have met a Thai boy who has touched our hearts in a way unlike the others, and has caused us to spend hours wondering if there's a way we could help them. So, what's the best way to help?

English Lessons -- This is a common one, but unless they're planning to continue living in a tourist city and/or remain in the tourist industry, I think it's pretty useless. Not to mention, even if that's the case, they tend to pickup English as they go anyway.

Education -- Another very common one, but personally, I no longer believe this is a very realistic way to help someone from Issan. Many of these guys dropped out of school early to work, and help support their family. On top of that, the Thai government doesn't seem overly interested in having an educated populace, or at least their education programs don't show it. Alot of these guys are looking at 3 - 5 years of screwing around just to get the equivalent of a high-school diploma, and really, what's the point of that?

A high-school diploma doesn't mean anything in Canada, and means even less in Issan. They need at least a four year university degree to be considered for a decent job. So even if they manage to stick with schooling for say 8 years, which is highly doubtful in probably most cases, they'll probably be in their early 30s by the time they get a decent job, which doesn't seem very viable. Not to mention, formal education isn't exactly a pre-requisite to building financial stability for yourself. For example, I don't have a high school diploma, have taught myself everything needed, and have done just fine for myself.

Buy a House -- I think this is a really good thing, and hey, houses in Issan are cheap. 1 - 3 million baht, the entire family is happy as hell, he'll always have a good roof above his head, and he gets to help out the family in a huge way. The only downside to this is that it's expensive, and is a pure handout, which the Thai didn't do a single thing to earn. Probably not the best way to build character.

Buy them Gold! -- Ok, just kidding actually. This one's just stupid, because we all know how quickly gold turns into whiskey in Thailand. Not to mention, nowadays, I think it's somewhat disrespectful. Mama is busting her ass to bring in 8000/month, and you drop 30,000 on some gold for your BF? Just give the money to mama instead, because it'll more than likely end up in her bank account anyway, except it'll be a smaller amount because the Thai had to sell the gold (and buy whiskey).

Fund a Business -- This is the best thing I can think of. Find out what they're interested in, make sure they work within that industry for at least a couple years to learn the ropes, then fund a small business for them. Don't buy them a business, but instead loan them the funds to buy it, and have them pay you back monthly from the profits. It's a win-win, assuming you have faith that you're Thai BF knows what he's doing, and is capable of turning a profit. In the long-term you get your money back, he gets a huge helping hand to build financial stability for himself, he has something to work towards that builds character, he looks like a superstar during family get togethers, etc. Plus his dignity remains intact, because he's not accepting a handout, but only a loan that he's making monthly payments on.

So yeah, funding a business seems to be the best thing I can think of. And I'm sure in a year or two, I'll be eating for free at a Thai BBQ restaurant in Kohn Kaen quite often. :-)

What do you guys think? Thoughts? Insights? Stories?

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[bing]

I am glad you put English lessons first on the list. I helped one boy to go to Mim at NS travel. She does a basic English
class. I checked to be sure the boy attended on my next trip and was assured by Mim that he attended faithfully. The fact that his English inproved was a good sign the classes worked. I also think that working with farangs in the bar would have also improved in skills. Going to class perhaps helped the process along.

[zinzone]

:laughing3:

OP are u totally effing stupid or what?
Your ludicrous suggestions like buying a house or funding a business for some issan boy whose cock or arse u happen to fancy for a while is just another example of how pathetically naive and gullible some of these 'more money than sense' farangs have when it comes to Thais.
Time and again the experienced ones on this web site try to warn against silly farangs throwing their wordly goods at these prostitutes but u have proven OP that sooner rather than later u will lose what if anything you have.
Mostly what is given to Thais goes to fuel drug or gambling habits or to help keep extended families in their lazy world of idleness and you OP are doing a shocking disservice by posting in this wholly irresponsible manner.

For fuck sake get real!

Was this topic covered in this forum before ... or was it on Thai Visa? I remember that some time last year I cataloged a long list of my failed attempts at helping Thai boys.

While I tend to be more moderate in my language compared to zinzone's postings, I have to agree with him completely on this one. When I started helping Thai boys (Vietnamese lessons, university study, houses, businesses, etc. ..), I would have been shocked by zinzone's conclusions. Now, ten years later, I can only report that more than 90% of what I have tried to do has been a waste of money, time and emotions. Only a few of the many boys have shown any promise of being able to achieve self-sufficiency, which was my original goal for them. Sometimes it is their fault; sometimes the reasons are beyond their control. Limiting factors are level of intelligence, business acumen, demands by immediate and distant family members. If you're lucky, the one (s) you're helping will be smart enough to study or run a business, and will have a family that is not intent on extracting every last baht from the farang. (A farm boy's poverty stricken family is simply not capable of planning for, or looking towards the future. They'll want as much as they can get right now.) More often than not, the boy has unrealistic dreams of becoming self-employed even though he has not a clue about business ownership or operation.

Yes, there are success stories, but they are certainly in the minority. Still, I admire those farangs who are willing to provide help, though I would admonish them that their success rate will be similar to direct mailing campaigns - about 3 per cent. That's three out of a hundred boys --- but less than one boy out of ten.

[Art]

[Missing picture: Banana-style Rolls-Royce, Dollar-style sunglasses and ...]

So, what's the best way to help?

Thais are self-sufficient. Never change a running system. The best assistance is denial of assistance.

[cdnmatt]

Mostly what is given to Thais goes to fuel drug or gambling habits or to help keep extended families in their lazy world of idleness and you OP are doing a shocking disservice by posting in this wholly irresponsible manner.

For fuck sake get real!

Geez, what crawled up your ass, and died this morning? Just because you're not capable of making something work with a Thai BF, doesn't mean it's impossible for the rest of us. And the above remark about fueling drug and gambling habits is a bit arrogant, no?

[Dodger]

Giving is the easy part; Not being able to celebrate any real results becomes a bit challenging.

[allieb]

One of the best things you can do is to go visit his room with him. Pay his landlord 6 months rent for him in advance so that he can't spend it on booze and gambling. Encourage him to get some kind of job where he isn't flogging his asshole. Now that's what I call helping a boy

Just give him a nice tip, a friend and a smile everytime you say good bye?

Our concept of happiness is nothing like theirs. To even try is a fruitless endeavor.

When you fuck him, make sure he's happy with his reward. Simple.

[Beachlover]

Was this topic covered on SGT beforeтАж or was it on Thai Visa? I remember that some time last year I cataloged a long list of my failed attempts at helping Thai boys.

While I tend to be more moderate in my language compared to zinzoneтАЩs postings, I have to agree with him completely on this one. When I started helping Thai boys (English lessons, university study, houses, businesses, etc.), I would have been shocked by zinzoneтАЩs conclusions. Now, ten years later, I can only report that more than 90% of what I have tried to do has been a waste of money, time and emotions. Only a few of the many boys have shown any promise of being able to achieve self-sufficiency, which was my original goal for them. Sometimes it is their fault; sometimes the reasons are beyond their control. Limiting factors are intelligence level, business acumen, demands by immediate and distant family members. If youтАЩre lucky, the one(s) youтАЩre helping will be smart enough to study or run a business, and will have a family that is not intent on extracting every last Baht from the farang. (A boyтАЩs poverty stricken farm family is simply not capable of planning for, or looking towards the future. TheyтАЩll want as much as they can get right now.) More often than not, the boy has unrealistic dreams of becoming self-employed even though he hasnтАЩt a clue about business ownership or operation.

Yes, there are success stories, but certainly they are in the minority. Still, I admire those farangs who are willing to provide help, though I would admonish them that their success rate will be similar to direct mailing campaigns тАУ about 3 per cent. ThatтАЩs three boys out of a hundred --- but less than one boy out of ten.

I think the key if you want to help the boy... don't offer what you might logically think is the right path. Coming from a developed country... we automatically think... oh... a good job is what we need for a better lifestyle... and we need education for this etc. So the thing to do is to give the boy education!

In many cases... if the boy wants to be educated, they'll get out there and make it happen for themselves... or at least go part of the way to making it happen.

I think if the boy has a certain amount of drive... and really wants to get into studying something... then great... give him a little boost (support him). But I think picking up a boy and pushing a "better life" on him won't always work. Like someone else said... there's a reason why these kids dropped out of school. Family circumstances are a common reason, but often, it's because they lacked the desire to finish.