Re: Sister Edith has the answer! (Duh, What's the question?
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Originally Posted by Edith
His own?... Or?
And what is the difference between a priest and an acne pimple? It's obvious. A boy usually reaches the age of 14 before an acne pimple comes on his face
Re: Sister Edith Tells It Like It Is:
"There Ain't Nothin' Like the Real Thing, Baby!" AKA the, 'And People think I'm nuts!' Department.
Dem Popes, Dem Popes, Dem Dry Popes: :pop: *
In the 15th century, or thereabouts, Pope Urban (Ur'-ban) the something-or-other (Methinks would, more appropriately, be pronounced Ur-ban'--But perhaps was not because Urban had bats in her turban.) banned smoking because ... BECAUSE ... she said smoking causes sneezing--And sneezing is the closest one comes (I refuse to stoop to the impolite, 'cums.') to a sexual experience. :sex:
The ban was lifted a hundred years later. Perhaps because during the interval many discovered it was a piss-poor substitute for the real thing--But, more likely because Raliegh brought real tobacco back from his travels and they could stop smoking sheep shit rolled up in tin foil (That was a line in an old lana Turner movie--I don't remember the name of the movie but she said it to Retardo Montalaban.) ... or the Phillip Moris company put a bribe in\explained what a cash cow tobacco would be tax-wise. Anyway, by that time the trendy were smoking AFTER sex when the damage, (AKA: 'Fun'.), was already done.
*Sorry, couldn't find a pic of old Urbby, best (Or worst, depending on how you look at it.) I could do was an emoticon of old Pussy the 12th whose namesakes, Pussy 6 & 9, had banned noisemakers and chewing gum at orgys. While well intended, rather redundant.
Which reminds me: In the vestabule of St. Patrick's Cathedral, there was once an ornate glass case containing a life-size wax likeness of Old Pussy-by-the-Dozen. A queen I knew went crazy, one Saturday afternoon, trying to find where to put a dime to get her fortune told! I offered to take her to 42nd Street but she said it was raining and she was wearing her beat open-showed twos. What one had to do with the other, I've never quite understood.
Re: Sister Edith Tells It Like It Is:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Edith
Which reminds me: In the vestabule of St. Patrick's Cathedral, there was once an ornate glass case containing a life-size wax likeness of Old Pussy-by-the-Dozen. A queen I knew went crazy, one Saturday afternoon, trying to find where to put a dime to get her fortune!
My retirement job is to conduct tours around the 25 or 26 churches and cathedrals dotted throughout the Mediterranean, each of which claims to have as a holy relic the True Foreskin
Re: Sister Edith Tells It Like It Is:
Quote:
Originally Posted by homintern
Quote:
Originally Posted by Edith
Which reminds me: In the vestibule of St. Patrick's Cathedral, there was once an ornate glass case containing a life-size wax likeness of Old Pussy-by-the-Dozen. A queen I knew went crazy, one Saturday afternoon, trying to find where to put a dime to get her fortune!
My retirement job is to conduct tours around the 25 or 26 churches and cathedrals dotted throughout the Mediterranean, each of which claims to have as a holy relic the True Foreskin
As the (rest of) the foreskin story goes; Lord Elgin ... Lord Lovaduck ... some Lord, bought one of those Jesus ones at auction and one that was claimed to be that of St. Peter and another touted as that of John the Baptist.
Lordy set them out, on the coffee table, in an ornate satin-lined gold display box.
The next afternoon, he was having a drinks party.
The Arch Bishop of Canterbury, being first to arrive, thought they were cocktail peanuts.
His Holiness ate one of them.
And told M'lud it was not only gauche but rather silly of him to show his nuts off so; "They are old and dried up and should be removed at once!"