Bali - I need mentoring

Hi Guys,

I'm planning my first vist to Bali, and require mentoring on the gay sex scene.
There're two reports from 2014-5, and from these I learned the following:

The scene is much more constricted than in Thailand: no MoneyBoys in saunas; not every massage place or massuer icludes sex; if it does - it's mostly only handjobs.
Boys aplenty CAN be found in and outside gay bars.
Standard rate - $30.
No problem bringing them to hotelrooms.
MBs are Muslim Indoneese (and NOT Balenese); cut small cocks; speak Eng.

Please correct/update any misunderstandings and wrong info above.

I got the impression that in and around gay bars a lone male is approached/solicited, including sending hands to his crotch and pulling his hands to crotches.
I that so?

One post puzzled me, by suggesting that actually a smile is enough for initiating sex (no money needed).
?????

And finally, there's one post I'm sure I didn't understand.
Visiting Balenese villages, it's possible to strike up a conversation with young guys (not necessarily gays), smilingly refer to their BIG BANANAS, grope/fondle, all is welcomed.....
?????
?????

I'd be grateful for as much guidance as possible.

(-:
Thank you,

I'd also like to know if one tradition still continues, one I noticed when staying outside Ubud twice a year in the early-mid 1980s. Around 5:00 pm it was very common to see boys and men of all ages go to a stream or a water faucet carrying a towel. Once there, they would strip off completely and wash themselves for several minutes, no matter who might be looking at them. My little hillside hotel had no electricity but a water faucet by the little pool and a stream below. Watching these beautiful guys, mostly young, was a joy. Has the much larger inflow of tourists resulted in this no longer taking place in the view of others?

Hi,
Greetings from Bali. I think some of what you've heard/read is correct however there are a few things that are incorrect imo.
"I got the impression that in and around gay bars a lone male is approached/solicited, including sending hands to his crotch and pulling his hands to crotches.
I that so?"
No, not really correct, the bars are crowded and generally Indonesians don't like to make great shows of affection or lust in public. These are not Thai go-go bars after all. Usually arrangements are made verbally and you will 'do the deed' elsewhere.
"MBs are Muslim Indoneese (and NOT Balenese); cut small cocks; speak Eng"
Again there is a huge variation in this, many MB are from Java, Sumatra etc. but not all are Muslim, there are many Christians (cut and uncut) from Flores, Borneo, Sulawesi and other islands and there are also some Balinese MB. Cock size is variable and there are some guys with large cocks, especially the Balinese, it's not all small here.
I have no idea about the Balinese village question but it does sound like your leg at the very least is being pulled on this one, plenty of flirting goes on but taking things any further would be quite insulting unless you were 100% sure the signals you were getting could be relied on.
As with many places in Asia, the apps, Romeo, Grindr, Hornet are often the easiest and safest place to hook up with local guys, most will expect payment.
Cheers

Grindr was very popular when I was there a couple of years ago

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Originally Posted by fedssocr

Grindr was very popular when I was there a couple of years ago

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It still is the most popular app here

Thank you Paulo, VERY much, for your response.

Since you're apparently there now, please share as much as possible:
places, names, rates, tips, recommendations, etiquette, warnings, etc.

And maybe also some adventures.....

Hi is12is1 , I'm about to do the same thing, going to Bali for the first time, how was your trip last year?
Any tips for place to stay, best location to stay, specially where to pick up boys, it would be appropriate if you will share your experiences with us here.
Thx

Bali is NOT Thailand and as far as the sex scene goes we that live here are very glad about that.

'Gay Street' the road that leads to Gado-Gado, in Seminyak, has a string of gay bars, places that we locals would never visit. If you are sexually attracted to screaming queens then you will love it.

There are gay massage places with much more than hand jobs, M Spa, M2, etc., all in the Seminyak/Kerobokan area [mostly non Balinese]...but some of us have more fun by getting the local Balinese straight massage boys turned on enough to participate [Ubud etc], the chase is part of the fun. I have never been turned on by buying sex from a menu!!!!

As I am sure it is in many countries, Bali is a totally different world when you actually live here and develop friendships within the village as the Balinese HIndu has similar attitudes to sex as the Thai Buddhist.....if it feels good, do it!

No idea where you got the small cocks from, many are hung like horses [like Kuda as they say].,

Hey guys, correction!!! I meant to say it would be appreciated to share your experiences , not appropriate,sorry ��

Thanks danny99 for your insider tips, I do agree with you, chasing boys is really part of the fun, but in today's world, we want it and we want it now, something like friends with benefits, I guess hahaha

Just a quick update on bali as I happen to be there just now and in case anyone is reading in the near future wondering about a possible visit etc - and just to say I didn't think it possible but the action in Bali is just NON stop !

To be point of having to avoid opening some of the Apps a there are that many messages coming in or waiting for replies or guys telling you oh they've seen you in some bar / the beach and do you want to hook up etc.

Then of course there are the few gay bars already mentioned which are still packed most evenings with plenty of company there should you want it, in my experience all unpaid too ! ( there are paid options floating about too by why other when there are queues of unpaid guys going out of their way to get your attention. !

And just to be be clear I'm 48 and no oil painting as they say so I'm not suggesting "it's me" - I'm also here with a 48 year old English mate ( who I think is a ugly fucker and he says the same re me lol) but the locals certainly don't seem to agree re that ( nor care) and both his and my dance cards are as full as we want them it too be at all times. It's not so much a matter of "pulling" but more deciding who you're going to ageee to give the ( dubious) pleasure of one of your fucks too after they've asked perhaps numerous times and you've ignored them
already as you're so busy elsewhere. And I've seen this same story being applied to guys much older than us so it seems to apply across the board so get yourselves to Bali for a wee change perhaps guys.

Plus aside from the shagging Bali IS lovely as there are SO many great quality bars and restaurants to chose from all day and night, definitely a whole different league than Patts that's for sure.

Nice to hear you're having a great time in Bali and that the bar scene is still pumping.

You must go home totally exhausted after your trips. How on earth do you get any work done back in the office??

Will we ever see you back in Pattaya again? Lol

I don't get much work done in the office, I have staff for that, I just go in, close my office, pretend I'm in high powered meetings and then basically sleep until it's time for my next trip ! ( I WISH)

And being ever mindful of Thais views that it's the sole responsibility in life of white guys to put rice on their tables I was actually in Bangkok for a week before Bali - thank god for DJ station is all I can say as there was little else I can say in Bangkoks defence "fun" wise these days.

Likewise to be sure I'm spreading the credit card debt equally I actually leave Bali this coming Monday ( god knows why !) to return to the ( very questionable) delights of world famous family friendly resort Pattaya for a week or so.

I'm trying VERY hard not to pass judgement in advance of that part of my trip but I'm guessing exchanging the lovely beaches with clean water and unrestricted umbrellas, plus high end shopping and quality restaurants should I want them, not to mention steady stream of hot hot guys here, all up for free and regular sex, compared to Pattayas dirty so called beach plus their finest Mbs / policemen, shop and bar keepers who are there solely to tap my wallet dry of every last single baht that they can wringe out of me, legally or otherwise, for the least possible quality of service it is going to be an interesting return trip indeed.

* although in the interests of fairness and openness I must confess that a guy in a money exchange booth blatantly ripped me off here the other day of 150 pounds ( he literally just took it off the pile of notes when my back was turned) but I'd seperated my money and knew the second I got back to my room and returned and had a very diplomatic conversation with him where I explained I would be rearranging his features somewhat if he didn't return my money forthwith and after due consideration on his part and a continuation of our conversation at a slightly higher level plus my allowing him to keep 20 quid of the money he stole for "face" and to show my stupidity in the first place much to my amazement he DID actually return the money !!! Again I can't imagine that EVER happening in Thailand and I'd of rather need up arrested and paying a police fine for threatening behaviour no doubt.

The money exchange scams are well publicised here in Australia. They often use dodgy calculators. Sometimes they count it out incorrectly and are quite blatant.

100, 000, 200,000, 300,00, 600,000.....

It's no use complaining; they just count it out again.

I once went to an exchange booth with a friend and the guy there counted out the money. Everytime she complained they were short-changing her they just re-counted it. In desperation, she decided to go to the shop next door, borrow their phone and call the police.

"Sorry. Phone not work."
Next shop - "Sorry, no have phone."
Next shop - "Sorry. My friend using phone."
And on it went, halfway up the street.

The bottom line is, they are all in this together. It's the same old line - you're a rich foreigner and we are poor, so it's ok to rip you off.

Sound familiar? Lol

Every time I read about your Bali escapades I'm tempted to go back but at the moment I'm busy overseeing renovations. They've been going on for months with no end in sight. :(

Except for the gay scene, I'm now well and truly over Bali. I used to be a very regular visitor but in recent years I've only stayed a day or two; just enough time for a few delicious meals and then I was happy to come home. But as you say, there are some great restaurants

Kuta was always full of drunken Aussies who then started moving north, through Legian and heading towards Seminyak where the gay bars are.

I had already checked with my hotel and had the number of the cops in my pocket but was told it would cost me 500 rupiah just to get them involved and probably with much outcome - hence me allowing him to keep 500 that he stole if he returned the 2.5 million - which amazingly he did ( still. Or quite why as I'd zero proof other than calling him a theiving cunt and telling him i wasn't there to debate whether he did or not as we both KNOW he did - so, pay up, keep 500 and I go or not pay up and we and you have a BIG problem.

And alas you are also correct re the Aussies slowly creeping into Seminyak and now even more so the gay bars - noticeably so - and with some of fight loving assholes that seem to migrate with that crowd. Thankfully it's bareable but uracil definitely a case of watch this space. I am several others had spoken to the owners and they too are aware they're treading a fine line but of course they need the money but they know if they get the balance wrong they'll kill the goose that's laying their current golden eggs. Even just last night I watched some asshole get all macho just cause some local guy playfully pinched his ass when passing, which of course is all part of the fun in the bars here.

Right on that very point you're now making me nervous that things might change here so as I've only 4 nights left I'd better get out and "do" just as much as I can just to be on the safe side :-)

Bali (Kuta), Pattaya and Phuket (Patong) look all the same to me, and if it wasn't for the language, I couldn't even tell them apart. I dislike all of them. I was scammed at money exchange in Bali, and my other memories of Bali are mixed.

Did I get this right? You exchanged money at a money exchange booth, noticed in your hotel room that you were short changed, went back, complained, and got part of it back? In retail, there is a rule "count your change immediately, no later reclamations accepted", and when I was almost short-changed in Bangkok (16200 THB instead of 19200), I counted the money while it was still on the counter, and without saying a word, the cashier gave me the missing money.

Kuta Is not seminyak Christian ( although parts might be getting more like it I grant you day by day) and I would disagree with you Seminyak looking like Phuket etc, perhaps small parts, but once you travel out and about there are some beautiful buildings, bars and restaurants and ocean views abounding in the local area. I'm also guessing that you also didn't interact well with the locals or feel the relaxed and chilled out vibe in the area ( as I'm guessing you've never felt chilled out and relaxed in your life and a staff member from one of the bars you were in was able to tell me you'd been rude to them - in their opinion and had asked for some info, got your answer, they then tried to interact with you further and you cut them dead and ignored them), the chilled out and being friendly thing Is all part of life here it seems and makes a trip enjoyable - the same as anywhere else I'm guessing and is also the reason you probably don't enjoy too many other places that most seem to find ok too.

And to be monetary for just a second ( which I know you'll like) one MASSIVE difference is that it seems that one can shag themselves to a standstill here, perhaps two and three times a day, every day and over for a reasonably long holiday period at that - and for FREE - try doing THAT in Thailand for even a week ! Hell you live there and still can't seem to manage it in any organised or regular way with having to do a mountain of work to achieve that, here, it's an App reply and a meet 15 minutes later - so I'm told anyway if my BF reads this later !

And re the money changer yes of course I'm familiar with the money must be counted before leaving the store rules etc - but when I went back it wasn't a contract I was waving at him but more my fist and a "real world" proposition of "there's two ways we can sort this out, up to you how"' - and as I said I was both very relieved and surprised that he picked my way - but remember he stole 2.7 million and I only got back 2,2 - so he was still 500 up ! For stealing and me not breaking his face or calling the police, so on reflection he made the right choice. And yes I did of course count my money but he simply pinched some of it back when I averted my gaze for a mere millisecond.

I can agree wholeheartedly with NIrish. I stayed in Bali (Ubud) for a week back in the day, and it was an amazing experience. Was planning to spend a couple months there, but couldn't find anywhere decent with internet at the time. Hotel promised they had internet, but nope. Had about 5 taxi drivers running around looking for a room in a house or similar for me that had internet, and again, nope. Although we did find one house that had dial-up, and I actually regret not taking that offer, becuase I'm sure it would have been an amazing experience.

The one thing I'll never forget about Bali is I don't think I've ever seen the color green as beautiful as it was there. Go outside into the countryside a bit, and the level of green was deep, lush, and beautiful.

The people were absolutely amazing, and extremely friendly. Loads of people would chat you up with a smile, genuinely chat with you about this or that, and never asked for anything. The hotel staff were awesome, and I remember a couple nights we'd end up sitting outside the hotel entrance, on this wodden peir type thing overlooking a rice field, drinking "Iraq" all night, a local alcohol.

But yeah, aside from the shit internet and being forced to use internet cafes, I can highly recommend Bali, or at least Ubud. That Hindu culture is great. And this was about 8 years ago, so I'm sure the internet is just fine now.

Quotes of Nirish guy in italic

Kuta Is not seminyak Christian ( although parts might be getting more like it I grant you day by day) and I would disagree with you Seminyak looking like Phuket etc, perhaps small parts,

The central areas (in Pattaya even from Naklua to Jomtien) look all the same, and are the same boring to me, in Pattaya, Phuket(Patong), Bali(Kuta): traffic jams, scams, money exchanges, massage parlors, bars with alcohol and loud music and the like.

I'm also guessing that you also didn't interact well with the locals or feel the relaxed and chilled out vibe in the area ( as I'm guessing you've never felt chilled out and relaxed in your life

You have a point.

and a staff member from one of the bars you were in was able to tell me you'd been rude to them - in their opinion and had asked for some info, got your answer, they then tried to interact with you further and you cut them dead and ignored them)

I have no idea where and when, and it was not my intent to be rude. Please provide details, either here on by pm. Even when someone who is not my type latches on me, I am diplomatic in getting rid of him.

he chilled out and being friendly thing Is all part of life here it seems and makes a trip enjoyable - the same as anywhere else I'm guessing and is also the reason you probably don't enjoy too many other places that most seem to find ok too.

You have a point.

And to be monetary for just a second ( which I know you'll like) one MASSIVE difference is that it seems that one can shag themselves to a standstill here, perhaps two and three times a day, every day and over for a reasonably long holiday period at that - and for FREE - try doing THAT in Thailand for even a week !

Looking back, boy-wise my trip was ok. My stay was too short for any meaningful statistics.

I have no idea where and when, and it was not my intent to be rude. Please provide details, either here on by pm.

It was in one of the main two gay bars and I'll not go further if you don't mind - and not I assure you as it didn't happen but simply that the guy still works there and it would I'm sure that you all of 3 seconds to work ou who that might be.

I would say this in your defence when the story was told to me about this rude / cold guy that he'd been cold shouldered by I laughed by a "mean guy" as I'd just read your trip report.( they're my words btw as it was a while ago now and I can't recall the exact phases used but that was certainly his meaning - but as I sai in your defence I've no doubt in YOUR head you asked for whatever info you'd requested, got your reply and that was obviously the end of any requirement for interaction between you and he - that I can fully imagine and understand how YOU reach that conclusion. However when you then factor in that whole ethos of both Bali and the bar staff and customers is to be very tactile, chatty and flirty with ALL visitors to the bar ( who normally return the flirting and good humour in equal measure) then THAT would have been why your actions would have been deemed as standoffish and rude.

I'm sure this isn't news to you and is all just part of the whole Autism / Asphergers thing you've got going on and you're probably rarely aware ( or care) or others taken the view that they do of their interactions with you. But to be fair it does come across sometimes that you are aware of it and still choose not to intentionally soften your interactions to make you "appear" a nicer guy ( in their eyes) as being blunt you don't "really" care what they think anyway as they're beneath you in way in SO many different ways - meanwhile you leave the bar either unaware of appearing rude or perhaps feeling superior whereas they just go on about their jobs / thinking "asshole" - and I don't mean that as an insult to you, I'm merely trying to show the thought processes involved by others that might take them to that position as I'm guessing ( again no insult intended) that you rarely see or understand that.

And Christian may I suggest you find a new "interaction" coach as the farang you said "gives you tips how to pull boys" doesn't it seem to be doing a great job, either that or you're too harshly interpreting his instructions,

In Bali ( and anywhere in life I find) a little bit of relaxed chat and banter, a little bit of flirting ( ohhh that shirt looks great on you, you're eyes they so bright, ahhh you're a really handsome guy, where you from?) ( pa sound familiar - Thai guys have been doing it to you for years now) goes a long way. Then adding that to "playing the field" until you decide who you're going home with - so not saying no but not cutting off your origins either "awww I not know what my plans are yet, I need to see farang friend soon to eat / drink / discuss tomorrow ..... but maybe we can meet later as you're cute" can also go along way on leaving you a well padded "dance card" to select a willing victim from later - but mainly just be NICE and open and friendly and try to have a bit of a laugh and genuine interaction on some level with the guys will go a long way and also usually improve your chances of having an enjoyable night out.

I'm guessing that the above to you ie standing talking what is basically bullshit all night is the very LAST thing that you would call enjoyable and to you would be both boring, a poor use of your time and non productive as a lot of time would be spent talking to people you may have already decided in your 5 second introductory skin, temperature, tattoo that's etc that they're not the guy for you anyway - but his MATE might be and by cutting him off and making yourself look "weird" you've just killed any chances of that happening either.

So whilst the above may be almost physically painful for you to bare I'm guessing your choices are to carry on as you are ( how's that working out for you) OR to work on your "people skills" so as to learn to bullshit and flirt like the rest of us who don't either suffer or are happy to have ( never sure which it is with you) your condition.

But if your mate there in Bkk isn't telling you this stuff you need to find new mates who know it - and may Ines who talk to "real" guys too every now and then and not just bangkok and pattayas finest money boys as those conversations are about as far removed from real life that you can get.

Ha on that very point - one guy last night messaged me - i come you fuck me - me no thanks - him only 500 !! ( I know that got your attention :/) me - still no thanks ( I was already in bed and couldn't be arsed - so I say "sorry I no change - him, no problem, I come you fuck me 30 minute, you give me 1000, I go get change and I leave you my phone as security until I come back with your 500. ( I still said no for the record as he's bored me by then) - but THAT is a great example of the NON real world conversations that you might only hear in the likes of Pattaya !! Lol

I'll have to go there sometime; Grinder sounds like a fun place.

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Originally Posted by FarangRuMak

I'll have to go there sometime; Grinder sounds like a fun place.

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Well Grindr isn't really a place, more like heaven (or hell depending on your point of view).
Anyway, if you are using Grindr the App in Indonesia you will need to access it through a VPN as it's now one of the gay sites the Government have blocked access to, so download it before you arrive and download a VPN also.

So if Grindr is getting blocked, are all the locals using VPNs & other work arounds to get on the app ? The alternative of a trend back to traditional cruising & use of beaches & bars for dating would be no bad thing.

I've not yet been to Bali, but am aware of the forex scam. When visiting a new destination, googling something like "Bali scams" is a good idea.

I see some Indonesians on Pl Romeo with face pics
and I have been in contact with a few.
I know Bali is an exception in that it's a Buddhist island but don't you think it's risky to use grindr and such like in an environment of increased fanaticism?

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Originally Posted by FarangRuMak

I know Bali is an exception in that it's a Buddhist island but don't you think it's risky to use grindr and such like in an environment of increased fanaticism?

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Bali is predominantly Hindu, not Buddhist! Be glad I discovered this before frequent. :lol:

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Originally Posted by goji

So if Grindr is getting blocked, are all the locals using VPNs & other work arounds to get on the app ?

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Yes, the young scallywags seem to be be treating the Indo government as fools and downloading VPNs...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by FarangRuMak

I see some Indonesians on Pl Romeo with face pics
and I have been in contact with a few.
I know Bali is an exception in that it's a Buddhist island but don't you think it's risky to use grindr and such like in an environment of increased fanaticism?

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Bali is a Hindu island and no one really cares what goes on here in the rest of Indonesia except those religious fanatics in Jakarta.
The expression here is "what happens in Bali, stays in Bali" You may have heard something similar before.

But the Buddha was a Hindu and who the fcuk is frequent?
Bali was probably chosen by the islamists because of what it is.

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Originally Posted by FarangRuMak

who the fcuk is frequent?

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Who the fuck cares!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by paulo15

Well Grindr isn't really a place, more like heaven (or hell depending on your point of view).
Anyway, if you are using Grindr the App in Indonesia you will need to access it through a VPN as it's now one of the gay sites the Government have blocked access to, so download it before you arrive and download a VPN also.

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Good advice, it actually took me a day or two to work out what the fuck was going on as in my hotel and on hotel wifi accessing Grindr was totally fine but yet in the bars and on their wifi etc it was VERY slow to load and only worked intermittently. I then went out and bought a local Sim card to beat this and still found it not working as normal. I eventually figured to try a VPN and all then worked as normal - the strange thing was I asked the staff in the bars (who I know well) had it been blocked by Government etc and every one of them said No and actually the bar manager was quite pleased it had been "slowed" somehow as he said that Grindr was really starting to affect the bars income ( although the bar was full most nights I was there), I had actually figured that the bars where actually reduced their available bandwidth or something perhaps to slow Grindr's use inside the bar maybe even - but no, blocked by the Government for sure ( although not very well) - so yes downloading yourself a free VPN is the way to go in Bali IF you find you need it and your access to fun is being curtailed.

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Originally Posted by Nirish guy

it was VERY slow to load and only worked intermittently. I then went out and bought a local Sim card to beat this and still found it not working as normal.

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As you experienced the block is intermittent, some hotels run their wifi through a VPN or a smart DNS connection so you can still get access. The big baddy is Telkomsel the state owned telecoms company and they and their cable division - Indihome - block loads of things. Although you can still open Grindr either the pictures won't load or only limited pictures will load, what you won't get is any messages without using a VPN.
Cheers

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nirish guy

And Christian may I suggest you find a new "interaction" coach as the farang you said "gives you tips how to pull boys" doesn't it seem to be doing a great job, either that or you're too harshly interpreting his instructions,

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You are mixing something up. I have two Farang friends who have completely different styles, but both much better success than I have, who I occasionally refer to.

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Originally Posted by Nirish guy

I'm guessing that the above to you ie standing talking what is basically bullshit all night is the very LAST thing that you would call enjoyable and to you would be both boring, a poor use of your time and non productive as a lot of time would be spent talking to people you may have already decided in your 5 second introductory skin, temperature, tattoo that's etc that they're not the guy for you anyway - but his MATE might be and by cutting him off and making yourself look "weird" you've just killed any chances of that happening either.

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There is some truth in this. Some days ago, I was walking in Bangkok and passing a group of Thais sitting and drinking, and heard a "hello" called in my direction. I was in a hurry, and even if I hadn't been, without paying particular attention to them, from the angle of my eye I saw when approaching and passing that there was no material that would warrant a stop*, so I continued walking hoping that would pass as "he hasn't heard me" versus "what an arrogant asshole".

*I have such an amazing brain, scanning my surroundings for cute boys goes automatically. I can navigate a broken sidewalk, have a phone call, calculate the third root of two paperless, watch out for my bus, and still be aware "cute boy incoming, two o'clock, 20 meter away".

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Originally Posted by christianpfc

*I have such an amazing brain, scanning my surroundings for cute boys goes automatically. I can navigate a broken sidewalk, have a phone call, calculate the third root of two paperless, watch out for my bus, and still be aware "cute boy incoming, two o'clock, 20 meter away".

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And then STILL fail to connect with him in any meaningful way and walk on wondering "shit, what could I have said to him" as he walks away and you then realise that the moment has passed and you'll now never know if he was your ideal BF or not ! :)