Re: On love, lust and boys
"if little or no rapport with the boy has been established. Then it just feels like unadorned lust, brutish and ultimately coarsening."
Yes. It's the rapport you can have with the boy where Thailand is in a premier league of it's own. When we get back to my hotel room I always lie on the bed with the boy lying across me perpendicular while we smoke a cigarette and get to know each other..It's a pleasant way to begin proceedings and tells the boy the style of the off is more personal, casual and hopefully fun than perhaps he's used to. I also think it helps that he knows what I want from him and how much he'll get paid, all matters being discussed prior to offing him. Every off no matter how late ends with me dropping the boy off wherever he wants to go in the greater Pattaya area and a nice kiss goodbye.
FIMP.
Re: On love, lust and boys
A fabulous treasure trove for the new member/ researcher @ChrisAndHisKind
Re: On love, lust and boys
snotface,
What you just wrote is the most thoroughly enjoyable and thought provoking story I've ever read on this or any other forum in the past 20 years.
It's not that I related with SOME of the experiences you described - I related with ALL of them. Your ability to describe your thoughts and emotions so clearly - and with such humility, is very refreshing to say the least..
I'll read your story again, and then challenge myself to see if I can be as honest with myself - as you are with yourself.
Thank you.
Re: On love, lust and boys
Post of the year.
As has been stated here before, you have a wonderful way with words. You write with clarity and honesty.
I can also relate to a lot of what you wrote. However, although I have been seeing the same 2 guys over many years - 1 in Pattaya and the other in Bangkok - we have never been in love with each other, just friends, and so we have avoided the dreaded jealousy issues you have mentioned here.
You have shown that there is more than one way to relate to a Thai bar boy. Some of us want more than just a fuck-em and leave-em "relationship".
Re: On love, lust and boys
Thanks, guys.
I am tempted to discuss the complexities, ambiguities, frustrations and joys of my nearly eighteen years with P....assuming "with" is the appropriate term to use when describing a long-distance relationship.
But I won't; except to say that it is hardly surprising that we find cross- cultural, age- differentiated and limited physical contact-based friendships almost impossible to justify, let alone explain, to outsiders. Add to that issues relating to class, language, religion and economic differences and we are left with something indefinable. At least for me.
All I can say is that the tribulations, fears, worries, disappointments and (of course) financial cost, have all been worth it for me.
Re: On love, lust and boys
Oliver, I have those issues, too.
But having been brought up in an Asian country I have a slight advantage when it comes to relating to the guys.
Although there are far more differences than similarities between Japan and Thailand, they share a common Asian outlook and, dare I say, temperament and attitude towards things. I find it all so very familiar. It's a feeling that I can't put into words. It's a kind of unspoken connection between us.
The guys over the years have often commented that although I am obviously a farang, they get a sort of Asian vibe from me. They often explain it by saying that I "understand" them.
I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels the power difference caused largely by the wide discrepancy in wealth. At times I feel a bit guilty about that and tend to over-compensate when it comes to spending (sharing) my money.
The various differences you refer to make life very interesting. Wouldn't it be boring if we were all the same.
Re: On love, lust and boys
Quote:
Originally Posted by
a447
I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels the power difference caused largely by the wide discrepancy in wealth. At times I feel a bit guilty about that and tend to over-compensate when it comes to spending (sharing) my money.
If you find that burden starting to weigh you down TOO much then please, just contact me and I can send you my bank digits as Id hate to think of you sitting there suffering with your wealth while I struggle here in the UK on the merge pittance we have to accept here as our lot ! A few hundred K deposited into my account would I'm sure make you feel MUCH better - and I guarantee it would certainly help to cheer ME up too ! :-)
Re: On love, lust and boys
Thank you so much for this extremely well written brief of your time in Thailand. I understand and feel you. I am a co-dependent enabler and I am scared to actually retire to thailand... I already support several Thai "friends" I met years ago (and a couple Filipinos). I develop feelings toward vulnerable men very easily.
maybe I should stay in my cold barren life in USA.
Re: On love, lust and boys
can you elaborate on this? there is a short twitter account @ChrisAndHisKind....