Hotel Etiquette (1st time traveller)

So im gearing up for my 1st time trip to Bangkok/Pattaya. (Newbie :mocking_mini: )
I have travelled before, however mostly to places in the Middle East, so bringing someone to your Hotel(room) there was a big No-No.

So im curious, if i meet a guy say in Pattaya and take him to My Hotel (instead of a Love Hotel, i hear they are probably safer but anyway) what can i expect ?
Does the Hotelstaff ask questions ?
Do you need to take a 2pers room instead of your single room with double bed (if he stays all night) ?
Any difficulties ?

Also what are some common rates for short time and long time with a boy ?

Thank You :)

The hotel staff see it every 5 minutes. They do not ask questions but they often want the man's id to hold while he is there. I always book a room for 2 people. In Bangkok ST 2000, LT 3000 bt would be normalish. Cheaper in Pattaya. Do not believe Mamasans on prices. Haggling on the apps is fine.

Are there "single" rooms available in Thailand? I don't think I've ever come across one.

Following Mancs's advice, I'd add two points. Firstly, the most expensive 5* hotels may require a joiner' s fee. Secondly, holding a visitor's ID card is a good thing, providing you with security...and is particularly helpful for a newbie.
Gay hotels in Pattaya always did (do?) this, phoning when the visitor left to ensure all was well. It also enables reception to check that the guy is not under-age. This may be an issue if you use apps.

Speaking of dating apps...which one do you think is most popular for us farangs to use in Pattaya? I'm not looking for long term finds just a nice afternoon or evening with one sexy young guy.

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Originally Posted by Oliver2

Are there "single" rooms available in Thailand? I don't think I've ever come across one.

Following Mancs's advice, I'd add two points. Firstly, the most expensive 5* hotels may require a joiner' s fee. Secondly, holding a visitor's ID card is a good thing, providing you with security...and is particularly helpful for a newbie.
Gay hotels in Pattaya always did (do?) this, phoning when the visitor left to ensure all was well. It also enables reception to check that the guy is not under-age. This may be an issue if you use apps.

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Sounds good and safe with the ID and phoning.
So why do most people say its better to book a different Hotel for the night ?
I mean if you have everything locked in a safe or suitcase with double lock for example... are there other "risks" taking them to your Hotelroom ? besides theft i mean

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Originally Posted by Max6969

So why do most people say its better to book a different Hotel for the night ?
n

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I’m not sure that’s right at all. I would say 99% of people use their own hotel!

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Originally Posted by Max6969

So im gearing up for my 1st time trip to Bangkok/Pattaya. (Newbie :mocking_mini: )
I have travelled before, however mostly to places in the Middle East, so bringing someone to your Hotel(room) there was a big No-No.

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A little off topic, Spent a year in Dubai/Abu Dhabi and at least there no one batts an eye at 2 men in a room or bringing a guest. The help is often Filipino and some are available. (I had multiple Filipinos there, one was a Hotel security guard). Even when I entered a hotel with an Emirati citizen no one cared. I was surprised at this. 3 men for every women there.

AND in 2022 they made it legal for unmarried Male/Female to occupy the same room. (not that that was enforced anymore than the Gay imprisonment law)

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Originally Posted by Max6969

So why do most people say its better to book a different Hotel for the night ?

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Who says so? I know only one person who likes to change rooms just to get a change. I change hotel rooms only for two reasons: I'm not fully happy with the place and will come back to the same city/town, so I try to find somewhere that suits me better. When I meet many (one or more every day) boys for free, I change hotel every two or three nights before staff starts to talk about me (or rather say something to the boy). This won't be an issue in Pattaya, as neither staff nor your new friend will care how many else you had in your room.

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Originally Posted by davidmelba

Speaking of dating apps...which one do you think is most popular for us farangs to use in Pattaya? I'm not looking for long term finds just a nice afternoon or evening with one sexy young man.

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Grindr and probably Blued. Have heard it's quite popular with mbs.

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Originally Posted by maump

A little off topic, Spent a year in Dubai/Abu Dhabi and at least there no one batts an eye at 2 men in a room or bringing a guest. The help is often Filipino and some are available. (I had multiple Filipinos there, one was a Hotel security guard). Even when I entered a hotel with an Emirati citizen no one cared. I was surprised at this. 3 men for every women there.

AND in 2022 they made it legal for unmarried Male/Female to occupy the same room. (not that that was enforced anymore than the Gay imprisonment law)

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Same here. Always had at least a filipino on each visit to Dubai and Doha. I even brought guys over to Brunei, a place where technically there is sharia law and homosexuality is punished by death. The guy told me that it never get enforced.

May I make a general comment concerning Max6969 and his visit?

I hope that you are getting the advice you need- you will see that there is consensus amongst regulars as to what you will find.

So my general advice is this; don't worry! once you are there, you will see plenty of men just like you, enjoying what Pattaya has to offer safely. Remember that we ( and even more so, those seeking women) are not extras on the Pattaya film but leading characters. Everyone knows why we are there. Even people for the far north and far south....hence the number of people of both sexes who go to work there.

And to be blunt, no one cares, as long as we act responsibly in matters sexual- that is, safely and legally- interact with our new friends with respect and generosity and ensure that our public behaviour reflects Thai and Buddhist values.

I'm envious of you; my first visit twenty-five years ago- perhaps even that first night- was one of the most important moments of my life.

A first visit! wonderful...amazing times ahead for you.

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Originally Posted by Oliver2

wonderful...amazing times ahead for you.

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You can say that again!

Your life will never be the same.

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Originally Posted by maump

A little off topic, Spent a year in Dubai/Abu Dhabi and at least there no one batts an eye at 2 men in a room or bringing a guest. The help is often Filipino and some are available. (I had multiple Filipinos there, one was a Hotel security guard). Even when I entered a hotel with an Emirati citizen no one cared. I was surprised at this. 3 men for every women there.

AND in 2022 they made it legal for unmarried Male/Female to occupy the same room. (not that that was enforced anymore than the Gay imprisonment law)

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Sounds great,
In Egypt even going near your Hotel with a local causes problems.
Shame... but C'est la vie (dammed :( )

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Originally Posted by christianpfc

Who says so? I know only one person who likes to change rooms just to get a change. I change hotel rooms only for two reasons: I'm not fully happy with the place and will come back to the same city/town, so I try to find somewhere that suits me better. When I meet many (one or more every day) boys for free, I change hotel every two or three nights before staff starts to talk about me (or rather say something to the boy). This won't be an issue in Pattaya, as neither staff nor your new friend will care how many else you had in your room.

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Well before i found this Forum i watched Youtube for info on Pattaya's nightlife, just saw another one just now actually (IT IS about Pattaya Women, not boys but i work with i find, not much Gay scene video's...)
aparently they CLAIM a woman you bring to your Hotel, could show up again since they know where you stay and cause problems if they see you with another woman. Not sure if the boys would do that... ? but i guess thats why

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Originally Posted by Oliver2

May I make a general comment concerning Max6969 and his visit?

I hope that you are getting the advice you need- you will see that there is consensus amongst regulars as to what you will find.

So my general advice is this; don't worry! once you are there, you will see plenty of men just like you, enjoying what Pattaya has to offer safely. Remember that we ( and even more so, those seeking women) are not extras on the Pattaya film but leading characters. Everyone knows why we are there. Even people for the far north and far south....hence the number of people of both sexes who go to work there.

And to be blunt, no one cares, as long as we act responsibly in matters sexual- that is, safely and legally- interact with our new friends with respect and generosity and ensure that our public behaviour reflects Thai and Buddhist values.

I'm envious of you; my first visit twenty-five years ago- perhaps even that first night- was one of the most important moments of my life.

A first visit! wonderful...amazing times ahead for you.

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Thank You for that :))
I was hoping to go for my 30th birthday but pandemic prevented that, so it will be 31th birthday.
I am familiar with escorts in Europe and i do respect the people who do it.
I just find it confusing with Sex work being illegal in Thailand... like its not allowed but it happens anyway...
guess i just want to know what im in for, to make sure there are no worries. better prevent than heal :)).
But thank You so much i look forward to it

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Originally Posted by Mancs

The hotel staff see it every 5 minutes. They do not ask questions but they often want the man's id to hold while he is there. I always book a room for 2 people. In Bangkok ST 2000, LT 3000 bt would be normalish. Cheaper in Pattaya. Do not believe Mamasans on prices. Haggling on the apps is fine.

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Okay and what is the average ST and LT times ?

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Originally Posted by Max6969

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Originally Posted by Mancs

The hotel staff see it every 5 minutes. They do not ask questions but they often want the man's id to hold while he is there. I always book a room for 2 people. In Bangkok ST 2000, LT 3000 bt would be normalish. Cheaper in Pattaya. Do not believe Mamasans on prices. Haggling on the apps is fine.

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Okay and what is the average ST and LT times ?

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Traditionally and, I would say, by common consent, the accepted definition of short-time with a bar-boy is, you come, he goes! ;)

Seriously though, short-time is as long as it takes you to have your merry way with the cute lad you’ve just off’d. But if you take too long, he'll soon let you know. Lol! If you really like the lad and want him to stay longer, you can simply ask him, but be prepared for a polite refusal. He may be eager to return to his bar and look for another off. I’ve been in bars many times and watched a punter leave the bar with a cute young lad in tow, only for the young man to return to the bar in what appears to be an unusually short space of time, strip back to his undies and resume his place on the stage. Either I’ve sat in the bar way too long, or it really was a very short-time off. Lol! Alternatively, he may have many other things to do, like meeting up with friends, going to a party or going out to a club, so don’t be too disappointed, you can ask to see him again the following night. But, thinking positively, he may agree, in that case you simply pay him the LT off-fee (or the agreed fee) in the morning.

In my experience, if you see a bar-boy on a regular basis, as an alternative to a long-time off, both of you may wish to extend the definition of short-time without the lad spending the night with you. I’ve known many cases where after the night or day’s activities are concluded we will go out for a meal together, or perhaps go for a swim, lounge by the pool, then go out for a meal. It all depends on the relationship built up with your new found friend. The lad may be interested in seeing the same punter night after night rather than gamble on finding a new punter every night and, it is not unheard of, but there’s a good chance he may really like you and ask to see you again. Of course in the early days you may not wish to commit yourself to seeing the same bar-boy every night and decide to play the field, explore the bars and see what else is out there. That will be, “up to you” a common phrase you are likely to hear quite often.

As regards the definition of long-time, this is generally accepted as having the lad stay with you overnight. If you want him to stop over even longer you will need to discuss the matter with him. You may well have really enjoyed each other’s company so much that, by mutual agreement, you both agree to extend his visit. But bear in mind, as a practical matter, it is entirely likely that he will wish to go home, speak with friends or family, or do any number of things, then return later in the day with a change of clothes etc,.

All of the above is solely based on my opinion, other members may very well advise you differently. Honestly, there are so many variables and my advice, for what it is worth, is to play it by ear, have a great time, enjoy the experience and treasure the memories. :)

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Originally Posted by Jellybean

Traditionally and, I would say, by common consent, the accepted definition of short-time with a bar-boy is, you come, he goes! ;)

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lol Okay easy enough :D
Guess i am used to hours instead body reactions lol.
So i suppose if i just want some company i should just say at the bar or he could wait a long time :D

It really is in your hands. When I was in the game, I was happy with the "you come, he go" arrangement, swearing that I didn't wish to be too involved. Of course, the gods had other plans for me....

You have the wallet and you also have youth on your side. If you make it clear that you will pay well, you will find that the guy will be happy to miss his "second off of the night" which I always suspected was usually something of a pipe-dream anyway. Meeting friends when the bar closes may be more of a pull and so be prepared for that.

By the way, in the bar, the smile works wonders. Both his to you and yours to him. The famous "Thai Smile" even has an airline named after it. You smile, he will smile back and you're in the game.

If you decide to do LT with him, make sure he agrees to have sex with you in the morning - if that's what you want - and agree on what time he can leave.

Blow jobs getting pricey.....

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Originally Posted by Max6969

Thank You for that :))
I was hoping to go for my 30th birthday but pandemic prevented that, so it will be 31th birthday.
I am familiar with escorts in Europe and i do respect the people who do it.
I just find it confusing with Sex work being illegal in Thailand... like its not allowed but it happens anyway...
guess i just want to know what im in for, to make sure there are no worries. better prevent than heal :)).
But thank You so much i look forward to it

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A few things weren't said, so I'd like to add. ST/LT. It's very helpful to set expectations, in order for both you and the boy to be happy. Standard ST from a bar is about an hour. LT does not have to be overnight. LT can be 3 hours, or whatever you agree on (and that's what I'd recommend. More relaxed, less rushed, etc). Highly recommended to spell out precisely (and perhaps crudely) what you want to do in the room. Sounds weird, but you must do it or risk disappointment and misunderstandings.

About the legal stuff. Yes it's "illegal". But what two people get up to amongst themselves in a room is NOT illegal. So don't feel like you're doing something wrong..you're not.

Escorts in Europe: This is nothing like that. Please don't treat them as if that's the case. Thailand is completely an alien land. Don't bring European expectations.

In room: 99% of the time, you'll be using your hotel room or wherever you are staying. These boys are NOT the sketchy tweekers like in the Prague train station.

A warning: as the other posters said, this is going to change your life...for the better.

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Originally Posted by Dboy

A few things weren't said, so I'd like to add. ST/LT. It's very helpful to set expectations, in order for both you and the boy to be happy. Standard ST from a bar is about an hour. LT does not have to be overnight. LT can be 3 hours, or whatever you agree on (and that's what I'd recommend. More relaxed, less rushed, etc). Highly recommended to spell out precisely (and perhaps crudely) what you want to do in the room. Sounds weird, but you must do it or risk disappointment and misunderstandings.

About the legal stuff. Yes it's "illegal". But what two people get up to amongst themselves in a room is NOT illegal. So don't feel like you're doing something wrong..you're not.

Escorts in Europe: This is nothing like that. Please don't treat them as if that's the case. Thailand is completely an alien land. Don't bring European expectations.

In room: 99% of the time, you'll be using your hotel room or wherever you are staying. These boys are NOT the sketchy tweekers like in the Prague train station.

A warning: as the other posters said, this is going to change your life...for the better.

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Sketchy tweekers as in the Prague Train Station? Can you expand, I haven't seen anything like that!

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Originally Posted by Keith

Sketchy tweekers as in the Prague Train Station? Can you expand, I haven't seen anything like that!

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Yea, If you're a movie buff, check out the Grodecki films "Body Without Soul", "Mandragora", and "Not Angels But Angels", pseudo-documentaries about the rough trade in Prague (circa 1990's). But not really related to Pattaya. My point is, please treat the boys with respect and love (but do lock up your stuff LOL).

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Originally Posted by Dboy

ST/LT. It's very helpful to set expectations, in order for both you and the boy to be happy. Standard ST from a bar is about an hour. LT does not have to be overnight. LT can be 3 hours, or whatever you agree on (and that's what I'd recommend. More relaxed, less rushed, etc). Highly recommended to spell out precisely (and perhaps crudely) what you want to do in the room. Sounds weird, but you must do it or risk disappointment and misunderstandings.

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Thank You
This extra info is good to know.
So if i want LT to be overnight the price is probably much more i guess ?

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Originally Posted by Max6969

Thank You
So if i want LT to be overnight the price is probably much more i guess ?

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Maybe. Maybe not. This is Thailand, and the price is whatever you agree. He may welcome a night in more comfort than he gets at home, or he may want to get home to his family. You don't know.

Don't overthink it. Although it's good to have some idea about how things usually work, your questions read as though you believe (maybe only subconsciously) there is a rigid set of rules and if you ask enough questions you will achieve certainty. That European mindset doesn't work here.There are no such rules, just some cultural assumptions (and maybe cross-cultural misunderstandings!), and every encounter is different.

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Originally Posted by Keith

Sketchy tweekers as in the Prague Train Station? Can you expand, I haven't seen anything like that!

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There was coffee shop in Central station in Prague in 90's. About half of "inhabitants" were working boys. Most of them were homeless boys from another countries like Slovakia, Ukraine or rural areas of Czech Rep. Cheap and fast sex was easy reachable and price sometimes was hamburger from McDonalds.

STD were common there as well, drugs using too. Most of them were "gay for pay" - i.e. straight boys who sell asses for money because of been jobless. They used that location as "a hiring point" because in about 150 meters was located hostel for homeless. So at late evening "unlucky" boys without clients went to spend night in that hostel for to came to coffee shop at next afternoon for to hunt for clients again.

It is worth emphasising to a newbie that Thailand's commercial scene is very different to the European model. I too remember Prague in the late nineties; there was in my view an ambiance of danger, even menace. And outside the "houses" like Blue Boy, I even sensed it in some of the hustler bars of Amsterdam.

Thailand is different. And much, much better.

Thank you guys. I am also coming to Thailand for my first time in December. The information I have learned from this forum and this Thread especially is very helpful to me. Like @Max6969 - I am a bit nervous not knowing what to expect, and what dangers might exist. You guys have eased a lot of my concerns - and I love how many of you have said that this will be a life changing experience. Thank you for sharing.