There was an old man called Matt from Manitoba
Who went with a guy called Leo from Laos
But along came Barry from Blarney
Who took a fancy to Leo from Laos
So Matt from Manitoba got in a huff
And they all ended up playing Blind Man's Buff
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There was an old man called Matt from Manitoba
Who went with a guy called Leo from Laos
But along came Barry from Blarney
Who took a fancy to Leo from Laos
So Matt from Manitoba got in a huff
And they all ended up playing Blind Man's Buff
Is this an attempt at a limerick? Here's a real limerick by way of example (dedicated to arsenal)
The Bishop of Central Japan
Used to bugger himself with a fan
When taxed with his acts
He explained "It expands and contracts
So much more than a man"
As you can see, a limerick is a humorous poem consisting of five lines. The first, second, and fifth lines must have seven to ten syllables while rhyming and having the same verbal rhythm. The third and fourth lines only have to have five to seven syllables, and have to rhyme with each other and have the same rhythm.
We can all quote from Yourdictionay.....
http://examples.yourdictionary.com/l...-examples.html
Let me play.
There once was a member called frequent.
Who thinks all his posts are so piquant.
He trolls from the dawn.
Making everyone yawn.
And is thought of as senile delinquent.
It's fun but good luck ryming 'arsenal'.
There is a man here known as Scotty.
Who's obsessed with all things from his botty.
But when he's called scat.
Well he doesn't like that.
So he sniffs and then gets all snotty.
Unfortunately as a limerick it’s a fail. It would start to pass muster if the second line was “who thinks all his posts so piquant”. However the most glaring fault is your obsession with putting a "." at the end of each line. A limerick is more often than not a single sentence. In the above attempt there could arguable be a "." at the end of the second line but definitely not otherwise. Consequently 6/10 and “must try harder”
This one is arguably better but there's still the obsession with the "." This one might get you a 8/10 were it not for the second last line; no educated person uses "Well" in such a way and is almost certainly superfluous. As a limerick the two lines are perfectly acceptable as:
"But when he's called scat
He doesn't like that."
The "So" at the beginning of the last line is also superfluous and again an example of the tendency of uneducated people to begin sentences with "So" when it doesn't add anything to the meaning, as in "So I was reading SGT one day". I don't think we can describe you as having attended Slough Comprehensive, successfully or otherwise. I imagine you as being at some minor prep school like Kings Mead and then god knows where you ended up next but doubtless somewhere that you spent your days not in the classroom but bossing the school cadet corps along the lines made famous by Douglas Neidermeyer in Animal House
Again, I think you're back to 6/10 and "must try harder"
You can't ryme 'arsenal' can you. Disappointed.
Excellent. Bloody good effort.
If I was asked (I haven't been) I would give the win to Arsenal. Both his attempts are slightly more limericksian than Frequency ... nice try but the sweet smoothness is not quite there. Too many splinters to catch my cashmere.
Gerefan started this, but needs work.
Best single use of wordsmithism : "pernicious barnacle"
Best use of a city name who's claim to fame is 'armpit of the world': "Manitoba"
Best use of the word which is also the handle of a Member here: "Snotty"
This is why SGT is such a wonderful community, it is fun yet educational, something you don't often see.
I did not know 'so' is one of those parasitic words. I shall try and avoid it, English can be hard. Frequent, you make me want to be a better English speaker!
It's irritatingly compulsive when you get started. Like crosswords I suppose.
We smiled at the post made by Smiles.
He said mine was the best and by miles.
So I've penned this short ditty.
Which is really quite shitty.
So Scat Boy can post about piles.
Can I enter the limerick contest?
There's a mid-70's codger called Arsenal
Whose outpourings are now beyond farcical.
From morning to night
He invents utter shite
From a brain that's the size of a particle.
It's true Scottish Guy ain't well read.
Nor especially bright in the head.
Barging his way in.
And making a din.
So desperate to join in the thread.
Our freaky and Scatty are chums.
Sharing Viagra and old saggy bums.
They're both rather thick.
With a limp floppy dick.
And neither can do basic sums.
A female sex tourist called Marjorie
Once offed a barboy at a larger fee,
Just to sit and chat
About this and that.
Ha! You thought she wanted him carnally.
Sorry Mr S but the idea is to use a limerick to say something about another member. Like this.
Our member called Francois is Gaulish.
Like me he finds Frequent quite ghoulish.
He loves Fruits de Met.
And pommes boulangere.
But his favourite is meatloaf and goulash.
You don't need me to tell you to take no notice of arsenal, snotface. He fancies himself as a Moderator still. Why does he bother, you ask, given his opinion of the Board. Indeed. To quote something he wrote about SGT earlier today "a little read and ever littler (sic) important gay message board" - https://sawatdeenetwork.com/v4/showt...274#post251274
Absolutely.
The members of Sawatdee forum
Are rarely enough for a quorum
But whenever they post
They sure do make the most
Of the chance to abandon decorum
I'm just glad there's no one here from Nantucket !
Mini Mee is a cunt and a half
Who never can make people laugh.
He should make some improvements
Obsess less with my movements
Or else just go fuck a giraffe!
Yes Scot it was awful. Do you like this better...?
That Limerick was about Matt
The guy most think of as a Pratt
Some say he is blind
Others just don’t mind
But does he do Scat?
He's a scat freak as now named by four.
As time passes on there'll be more.
He can't go a day.
Without having his say.
His fetish is now such a bore.
It was Latin who first called him out.
Then Arsenal and this made him shout.
Then Frequent came too.
Now Getefan2.
His scat love is now not in doubt.
He said you can’t rhyme Arsenal
Just shows he is so marginal
Used to moderate
But was too obdurate
Now he thinks he is a Cardinal
Where has the Freak gone
He will be missed by none
His lexicon is naueaus
His posts supercilious
Perhaps he went to sign on
A brief ditty about our late (un)lamented Forum owner...
A Boyztown bar owner named Neal
Auditioned new boys with a feel.
"You're too small", he opined,
"But quite tasty behind" -
Before parting their cheeks for a meal.
Alternatively, and with not-so-fond memories of interminable Boyz, Boyz, Boyz drag acts...
Madame Jim took the stage with a frown -
Had the stitching come loose on her gown?
No - she'd made up her face
And her boobs were in place
But her drawers had come tumbling down
Another tribute, this time to a more shadowy personality...
Madame Sunee surveyed her two sois
With the bar fronts all closed and no noise.
"This won't do", she did moan
Before using the phone
To call Isaan to summon more boys.
There’s a new poster called Double Dutch
Who knows how to double de-clutch
I think he’s been sussed
But it’s still being discussed
Now he’s been told to get back in his hutch
Marsilius, I'm genuinely impressed. Truly. You're a master of the form. (Such as it is). Gerefan...um...not so much. With all due respect. Thanks for playing.
Gerefan means well but he is no poet - it's clear from his efforts so far that he thinks meter is something the household gas runs through
:p
Our beautiful Frequent has left.
The community is feeling bereft.
Of his posts, oh so fine.
Often only one line.
His trolling was cunningly deft.
He's gone and will never return.
Three bans but he never did learn.
That time comes around.
By few rules we are bound.
Be a cunt and you'll go to the urn.
I'm sorry, but the Muse is upon me again (oo,er, missus...)
On a dark night in Boyztown Soi 3
A comely young "lad" approached me.
But it wasn't a boy,
Just a grasping kathoi
(I could tell when he sat down to pee).
Sorry Marsilius, but my Muse whispers "needs skerric of change, says he". (He's a bitch, but ...). A few words with one too many syllables.
Would roll more smoothly off the mouth if that was cleaned up a bit. And sounds more 'musical'. (Line 1 and 2.)
One night in Boyztown Soi 3
A comely young "lad" 'proached me.
But it wasn't a boy,
Just a grasping kathoi
(I could tell when he sat down to pee)