Lizard (belonging to the infraorder Gekkota)

Time: late, lazy Sunday morning, typhoon passed to the north, no local damage
Venue: a kitchen at Garden Plaza Apartments, Saigon South.
Residents: One American, one Vietnamese, one gecko (of undetermined nationality).

Status: Lizard living under my toaster, or, toaster providing shelter for my lizard (not sure which is more PC).

Your advice is solicited regarding the removal/relocation of one gecko to an exterior locality. It probably entered the apartment when the balcony door was open one evening. After surveying the interior, he chose to establish himself in the kitchen, most of time under the toaster, though sometimes seen scurrying between the toaster and alternate accommodation under the rice cooker. I have no idea what he eats. Surely toaster crumbs could not provide sufficient nourishment and there is no source of insect life within the apartment.

Problem: I very much doubt that my hand-eye coordination is keen enough to allow me to catch the creature as it scurries, and I am not really interested in having a wriggling lizard in my grasp.

On the balcony just now, hearing my Korean neighbor’s screaming infant, I thought to ask them to bring the child to my place. Five minutes of that wailing would drive any amount of lizards away from the apartment. But I don’t speak Korean.

Why am I posting this? Because, as is well known, gay men are more intelligent than the general population. We are skilled at language learning (can easily switch to Pidgin to say “How much short time?” or “Can do everything?”) and we are adept at mathematics (can, without a calculator, mentally add up the cost of drinks, off-fee, ST or LT tip). So very possibly, one of you could provide a solution to this squatting lizard dilemma.

All suggestions would be most welcome (except those resulting in mortal injury to the creature).

Suggestions related to my mental state would not be appropriate.

Just keep it as a pet.
I would suggest naming it Lazarus.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by dinagam

Just keep it as a pet.
I would suggest naming it Lazarus.

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That's really good. I just need to figure out how to take it for a walk so it can evacuate, and how to catch insects for its lizard-appropriate diet. And does one bathe a lizard? Have to check on that.

I have a lizard in my room in Bangkok. I store bananas and other fruit in the open, and the lizard is there more often than can be explained by chance, so I assume it eats from the fruit.

Once I found the lizard trapped in a plastic bag (thick plastic so the bag can stand). I don't know how it got in, but for sure it couldn't get out, and that provides a solution to your problem: put some ripe fruit in a plastic bag or bucket, and a way for the lizard to get in. Then take the plastic bag or bucket with the lizard out of your room and release it.

Well done, Christian. Safe, practical, humane. I'll give it a try.

Christian. Your naturalist skills are woeful. Lizards don't eat fruit, they eat insects. The fruit attracts the insects and the lizard eats them. Bob, I think you should just leave Harry alone. He'll eat the mozzies for you.

But I don't have any mozzies and the supermarkets don't stock them. :confused:

bob, obviously you don't have mozzies - the gecko is eating them all

Good one, Joe. But we really don't have any. Maybe they don't like the flight up to the sixth floor or maybe they just stay away from grumpy old men. :confused:

Can you not just take it along to Dongtan beach and release it?

It would surely be in its element amongst the many other lizards which gather there most afternoons!

:D

Good point, SG. But I live in Saigon. Maybe Thai Air would agree to take it to Bangkok, and I could have someone release it at Dong Tan?

Scottie can be a bit slow on a Monday morning - it's his age

Quote:

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Originally Posted by arsenal

Christian. Your naturalist skills are woeful. Lizards don't eat fruit, they eat insects. The fruit attracts the insects and the lizard eats them. Bob, I think you should just leave Harry alone. He'll eat the mozzies for you.

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I'm sure my lizard eats fruit. There are feeding traces on my bananas (when they get ripe, the peel rips open at the stem, and that's where the lizards eats). I might take pictures if my word doesn't convince you.

No need for photos, Christian. I'll see what a bit of banana will do.

bob, if you're really serious about relocating your gecko to Dongtan beach, I'm willing to give up a couple of days to help you out. All it would cost you would be my airfare. I presume you have a couch I could bed down on with the floozy I pick up at the local hostelry? Foodwise, I eat very little (as does the gecko, apparently, except for the mozzies). I'll pay for my own beer, so really I wouldn't be a burden and I'd be doing you a favour. Don't rush to judgement. We don't have to decide now.

I hold my hands up and admit that in my haste to make a joke I forgot Bob was in Saigon!

Take the Gecko to Nha Trang then, and after releasing it take the cable car over to Vinpearl island and experience a 1960's Butlin's funfair transported to 2017 - including the slowest roller-coaster I've ever been on.

Well worth a visit - except you've probably been there umpteen times already

:D

Ooooh, so who's showing off they've been to Vietnam on their holliers? Or as MiniMee might suggest, been doing a lot of googling (ooh er, missus)

if u gotta name it then scotty or arsetroll would be most appropriate

There’s a group out there that believes the British royal family are lizards

Quote:

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Originally Posted by bobsaigon2

Good one, Joe. But we really don't have any. Maybe they don't like the flight up to the sixth floor or maybe they just stay away from grumpy old men. :confused:

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I'll go with the latter part of your answer bob. My bf comes out in welts when bitten by one mosquito. The mosquitoes that bite me (GOM) die and litter the floors.