Tiger's dick ...

The Tiger Woods story (i.e. "What's the count today") has evolved, perhaps downwards ... though that would be according to your personal priorities regarding Serious News.
On Google News page it was a 'Top Story' for quite a while, with parts of it having to do with how this will affect his (1) golf game, and (2) his endorsement deals sometimes appearing in the 'Sports' section. Now it has trickled down to popping up in the 'Entertainment' box, only moving back to 'Top Story' when yet another lovely appears on TMZ or Fox News spilling the lurid details as to how 'Tige' had her over the kitchen island "in tiger's own home!" while "Elin was breastfeeding upstairs!!". The count now appears somewhat stalled at a perfect dozen, though everyone is holding their breathe(s) as to when the baker will appear.

THINGS WE NOW KNOW ABOUT TIGER:

• He's sex addict (and according to Megyn Kelly, "needs to get into therapy") [/*:m:3g0jy47z]
• He leaves his dalliances tired and smiling: " ... He's an animal. I felt like a well-used rag doll ... " (she said, smiling)[/*:m:3g0jy47z]
• Tiger is VERY well-endowed indeed.[/*:m:3g0jy47z]
• He's a drug addict.[/*:m:3g0jy47z]
• He can't drive ... but he drives well ... and he drives me well.[/*:m:3g0jy47z]
• Gillette Co. is not amused.[/*:m:3g0jy47z]
• The play on words regarding 'Golf' is the new 'Recession': " ... Wow, that was a REALLY LONG drive into the, er, VERY WET SAND BUNKER ... "[/*:m:3g0jy47z]
• The search for the, er, 'Smoking Gun video' carries on feverishly (especially for gays: Read: 'Tiger is VERY well-endowed indeed'.)[/*:m:3g0jy47z]

THINGS WE KNOW ABOUT LES LIASONS:

• Taking a cue directly from The Elephant Man and Richard Nixon, Tige's Girls, one a time, have declared:
  "I am not a whore"
  "I am not a tramp"
  "I am not an escort"
  "I am not stupid"
  "I am not a bimbo"
  "I am not a homewrecker"
  [/*:m:3g0jy47z]
• And from Gloria Gayner:
  "I will survive"[/*:m:3g0jy47z]
• "Tiger is very well endowed" has now been corroborated by 9 of the (now) 13) young ladies.[/*:m:3g0jy47z]
• Taking a cue directly from Michael Jackson, 13 of 13 of the group have been white. (Please see Mr Jesse Jackson immediately for succour and counselling)[/*:m:3g0jy47z]

He has added penis enlargement to his endorsements, well he says it worked for him. It's an ointment to be applied directly to the dick, known as Tiger's Balm.

Tiger is half Thai but I imagine most of the white world sees him as a black man
and not Asian, especially with the stereotyping of different racial genitalia sizes.. :idea:

We/I knew it all along. For some strange (genetic?) reason I've been blessed with the ability to know whether a guy has a Very Large Cock (VLC ... Elephantspike, please add this to your acronym list) just by looking at a guy's face. I've been on to Tiger for years.

This all came about because of the car crash. It seems strange that the worlds greatest golfer did not use his DRIVER.

I must say I feel a bit sorry for Tiger (which makes a delightful change after years spent envying him). So he's a sex addict - we at SGT can sympathise with that. People should give the poor man a break. I'm sure all this media hysteria is doing more harm than good, both to his family and to the rest of us. After his latest decision to take an 'indefinite break' from golf, it looks like we're all going to be denied one of the great pleasures of sport in watching him regularly reduce all other golfers to tight-lipped wrecks on the course (for a while anyway - if he misses the first major of the new year at Augusta I'll be very surprised). That Thai mother of his needs to get into a huddle with his uppity Swedish wife, no doubt brought up on unsound feminist principles, and explain to her patiently the concepts of major and minor wives. She's got the properties, the money, the children, Tiger's never going to abandon her, so why worry about these bits on the side? She should stop using golf clubs to smash car windows - talk about drawing attention to herself - and accept philosophically that she is in a situation that many women would kill for. As for Tiger, well, perhaps he should cool it for a bit. Nothing wrong with announcing that he is going to try to be a better husband, dee dah, dee dah. Gotta keep those puritanical Protestants happy. But we all know that it won't be long before he's dipping his wick again, don't we? Can't fool us here at SGT. The only question is will we hear again from the sultry, stroppy, club-swinging Swede? If not, we'll know that she had that conversation with Mrs Woods Senior...

TEE HEE

(surprised some of the regular queens haven't protested "What does this have to do with "Gay Thailand?" )

Ok, Tiger Woods isn't exactly "innocent" ; however, with American culture they seem to thrive/ dwell on ones personal sexual faults instead of just ignoring it. (Again another Puritanical double standard). Also, what about the slime whore women that lined up to "please"... They knew he was married. It wasn't like Tiger Woods could hide that! The bitches that are coming out now to be on the night news shows should not be given a chance to expose their dirty laundry with profit.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by thrillbill

(surprised some of the regular queens haven't protested "What does this have to do with "Gay Thailand?" )

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Perhaps because it is not in the Gay Thailand forum, but in the Global forum?!

As Boy Special said to me "He rich, why not". Clearly Tiger can't take up golf as a hobby, so he's taken up sex. Good on him.

Yes. The gay perspective.

What's all this fuss about 13 women? I don't have the details, but he doesn't seem to have had them in 14 days; which would have made him a popular hero like the boy at school who used to wank publicly, to great applause, 6 or 7 times a day. I've known a number of gay men who made it a matter of conscience to have a different partner every night of the week - you have probably known some yourselves. I never, even in my most testosterone-fuelled days, made it more than 9 or 10 days in a fortnight, but I learned early on that there is no better way way of relaxing and recharging your batteries for the next day's challenges and stresses than having sex with a stranger. Great times! I wouldn't be surprised if his sexual adventures had contributed importantly to the calm and precision of his game.

Of course, Tiger Woods was cheating on his wife. About this particular form of hypocrisy I'm not an expert, but it is not in a cynical spirit that I say most men do. The fight between animal nature and the idealistic prescriptions of religion and society is never-ending, and Peter UK's reference above to major and minor wives was not, I hope, tongue-in-cheek.

The loathsome immorality here is not that of Tiger Woods; it is that of the world that sucks in distinguished and talented people and turns them into what they are not in order to exploit their names for commercial purposes, and then spits them out when they cease to be useful or usable. And we let it happen, because we are all guilty of succumbing to the foulness of the kind of journalism that affords us the chance to do what we like best - to gloat and feel outraged at the same time. Nothing more satisfying! That is our immorality.

We live in a very imperfect society. (And that's a very heavily edited version of what I originally wrote!)

Well put!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by piston10

" ... The loathsome immorality here is not that of Tiger Woods; it is that of the world that sucks in distinguished and talented people and turns them into what they are not in order to exploit their names for commercial purposes, and then spits them out when they cease to be useful or usable. And we let it happen, because we are all guilty of succumbing to the foulness of the kind of journalism that affords us the chance to do what we like best - to gloat and feel outraged at the same time. Nothing more satisfying! That is our immorality ... "

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Not 100% sure, but I think I've just been thoroughly chastised?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dickhead

Tiger is also half Thai, if you want to get pedantic.

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Apparently that is not true. Just to be truly pedantic, it seems his late father was of mixed African American, Chinese and Native American ancestry, while his mother is of mixed Thai, Chinese, and Dutch ancestry. This makes Woods himself only one-quarter Thai, while the other three-quarters is one-quarter Chinese, one-quarter African American, one-eighth Native American, and one-eighth Dutch.

Perhaps it is not his sexual but his financial endowment that attracts the women, but 13 certainly seems to be his unlucky number.

What sort of Thai woman would it have been, do you think, who forty-something years ago married a black man, a soldier, while he was on rest-and-recreation activities from the Vietnam War? I doubt they met at a garden party at Chitlada Palace, despite Earl Woods holding the rank of Lieutenant Colonel. His Wikipedia entry provides no details. Philandering seems to run in the family (thank god).

Quote:

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Woods met his future second wife in Asia. Kultida "Tida" Woods has Thai, Chinese, and Dutch ancestry. They married on or around July 11, 1969 in Brooklyn, New York, and she bore Woods' fourth child, Eldrick on December 30, 1975. His nickname, "Tiger", came from Earl Woods' friendship with Colonel Vuong Dang "Tiger" Phong, of the Vietnamese Army. At a later point in time when Tiger was a teenager, it became known that Woods had an extramarital affair to the dismay of Kultilda as well as a devastated Tiger.

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dickhead

She was a whore.

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My question was rhetorical.

This "Not the Nation" article on Tiger cracks me up :king:

Tiger Woods Embraces His Thai Half By Denying Reality


WINDERMERE, FLORIDA тАУ Tiger Woods, the worldтАЩs number one golfer and one of sportsтАЩ most famous superstars, finally embraced his Thai heritage this week by engaging in fierce and categorical denial of obvious reality.

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I love the last paragraph:

тАЬItтАЩs great that heтАЩs finally acknowledging his heritage,тАЭ said Thongchai Jaidee, ThailandтАЩs top golfer and winner of the 2009 Player of the Year award on the Asian Tour. тАЬBut I wish he could have expressed his Thai-ness some other way тАУ maybe by smiling more, and being nice to people. ThatтАЩs very Thai too, you know.тАЭ

Full article: http://notthenation.com/pages/news/getnews.php?id=860

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beachlover

This "Not the Nation" article on Tiger cracks me up :king:
I love the last paragraph:
тАЬItтАЩs great that heтАЩs finally acknowledging his heritage,тАЭ said Thongchai Jaidee, ThailandтАЩs top golfer and winner of the 2009 Player of the Year award on the Asian Tour. тАЬBut I wish he could have expressed his Thai-ness some other way тАУ maybe by smiling more, and being nice to people. ThatтАЩs very Thai too, you know.тАЭ

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Unfortunately, both the Nation and yourself are mixing up two completely different stories. Thongchai's comments which are quoted in that last paragraph were not aimed at Tiger's multiple cheating problems, but at Tiger's appearance at the Johnny Walker Classic held in Thailand where he 'wai'ed' the crowds there assembled. Thongchai was expressing happiness that Tiger was using the traditional Thai method of greeting.

This happened sometime in mid November ... some weeks before Tiger's Big Problem(s) hit the headlines.

That's because it's a "Not the Nation" satire article... not a real news item from "The Nation".

www.nationmultimedia.com - the real newspaper.

www.notthenation.com - mock newspaper.

If you see the article itself... and others like it on the site you can tell it's just humour: http://notthenation.com/pages/news/getnews.php?id=860

Thanks Beachlover for pointing out the satirical Nation. I had no idea it existed.
This may be the one and only occasion in which you have actually demonstrated a marginally savvy sense of humour. A long time coming, but I'm happy to witness it at last.
:bis:

Never heard of Not the Nation! It has been referred to here on a number on a number of occasions, and the poster formerly known as The Colonel et al, links to it in every post. And yet you patronise others..........................

No dick pic yet

I love Not the Nation... the articles are a hilarious satire on Thai ways.

Sonkhran - http://www.notthenation.com/pages/news/ ... php?id=486

White females in Thailand - http://www.notthenation.com/pages/news/ ... php?id=823

Asians feeling inferior to cuacasions - http://www.notthenation.com/pages/news/ ... php?id=847

"Just like the Oriental, the Gook will eagerly attend to every whim and desire of wealthy Westerners, often with an exaggerated bow and bucktoothed smile,"

Analysts believe the long-toiling Gook may join hands with other Orientals in the region and rise up together in an orgy of blood and violence to reclaim its pride and dignity.

Role of the army in politics - http://www.notthenation.com/pages/news/ ... php?id=850

Army forms "Final Word" political party

Asked by a reporter from Prachatai about the constitutional prohibition of active military personnel serving in the civilian government, General Sonthi responded by shooting the reporter.

тАЬDonтАЩt worry about the constitution,тАЭ the general told the remaining journalists. тАЬWeтАЩll take care of that.тАЭ

What a waste...
I've just spent 800bht on a Xmas dvd, 'Tiger Woods, my 18 favourite holes.'

Turns out it's about golf!!