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Pattaya bars - a review
Just returned from a few days in Pattaya, my 30th trip since 1993 and still I return, whilst claiming at the end of each visit that I shall venture further afield in South East Asia and give Pattaya a rest. However, there is some magnetic charm about ‘Patts’ that entices you back year after year, despite being hellishly irritated by the usual things which have always, eh, hellishly irritated us: trying to cross Beach and Second Roads, bloody annoying mamasams (don't you just hate them?)and being levered by drivers' wives into the back of their husbands' baht buses outside smart school 8, bound for Jomtien.
"Christ, woman, there's sixty four of us aboard already, can we get going now?"
"Move up, move up, only eight more. Go soon, no problem. Hey, why that poom-poo-ee farang stop breathing?"
I recall how, from the old wooden pier adjacent to the infamous Siren Bar, above which was a memorable neon Marilyn Monroe with her skirt up around her eyes, I would cast a few coins into the sea and wish to return - which I did, and then wish I hadn't, feeling that I had wasted money with which I could have visited Siem Reap or Saigon. Every bloody year it's the same mantra: “Right, I've done the Pattaya thing, that's it; from now on it's Skegness or Loch Ness." And then, after a few moments madness, I book a flight to Thailand!
Oh, incidentally, many thanks for the nudge about the Pattaya Beer Bar. It was jumping every night and it is indeed a fine place for a sundowner.
In the earlier years I would stay at Dudley's Penthouse - now some kind of 'cattery', for it advertises kittens (I’ve seen the notice outside): a veritable hunting ground these days for the straight clientele destined to treat their dish of the day to an array of toys and apparatus in rooms adorned with mirrors, poles (not from Poland), swings and dance podiums. Do these people ever make it to bed or do they eventually fall asleep on their swings, drop off and fracture an arm? Incidentally, Dudley is a great guy: very inclusive, very old-school English and gay-friendly, but I could not bring myself to use the Penthouse after about the year 2000, as it had become so straight-orientated with an array of heavily tattooed Neanderthals bearing clubs carrying Thai kittens to the playrooms: probably seriously homophobic with few exceptions. Imagine wading through that spectacle of humanity with a young chap on your arm straight from Kawaii Boys?
“This ain’t a place for poofters so best you sling yer ‘ook and head for the hills.”
Maybe they’d be quite unlike that and rather more the welcoming sort.
“Me and my kitten, Yupin, yeah, would like to invite you both to share a little nightcap, and a push on our bedroom swing.”
Okay, enough reminiscing.
Sunee Plaza. Oh my God, it's depressing; year-on-year it gets worse. I don't know about you, but as I wander the Plaza and Boyztown (in the old days of Ian and Robbie at Cafe Royale, and Jim and Gordon at the Ambiance it was "Boystown" and not "Boyztown"), I am accompanied by a hundred whispering ghosts reminding me of when Sunee was vibrant with bars and clubs a-plenty. Memories reach out and claw at you as you pass former venues, now closed, that were so much fun to visit in its heyday. Now, I hear only rumours of its imminent demise and some plans for its development. It’s like walking through the tragedy that is East Aleppo: there are some comparisons.
The Corner Bar changes not one bit, with Mama Pai picking away at chicken behind the bar while her son, Joy, runs around delivering drinks. Okay, strolls around delivering the occasional drink.
And speaking of the Cafe Royale, what on earth have they done to the place? I loved it the way it was. One would enter the bar to find the rotund Ian screaming, "FISH! FISH! FISH!" because a woman had dared to enter the bar to sit and ogle at the young male pianist at the grand piano.
"Come on, darling, what colour are they?" he would ask in a voice not unlike that of Phil Mitchell in Eastenders, as a lithesome waiter wandered past him delivering drinks in his pink shirt and tight white shorts.
"Blue," came the obedient, hushed reply.
Ian would sit up on his bar stool and take interest. "Well come them, darling, let's have look."
And the inspection would take place amid the madding crowd.
Oh, and don't get me started on mamasams. The ultimate she-bitch from hell lurks in the dark recesses of Cupidol. One would hang a photo of her above the open fire in a pub to deter children from going to close to it. I had encountered this ladyboy/woman (not sure - 'up to you') on both my visits last year. Jesus, she is the most irritating creature I have ever encountered in my many years visiting Pattaya bars. She takes the crown. BUT...now she has given birth or self-mutated, or a part of her has fallen off in the dark and has lain unnoticed growing into another mamasam, bearing an uncanny resemblance to the shorter queen of annoyance. There are now two bloody mamasams in Cupidol.
The bitch herself hits on you as soon as you enter Twinky Palace. She slides herself over to you and buries herself into your waist, taking your arm and stroking your hand.
"What number?"
"I've only just arrived, can I order a drink?"
"Number twenty, he smoke you good. Number four, he do everything."
Then her bloody annoying offshoot arrives and she spins around with her right arm outstretched like a magician's assistant, as she 'presents' the goods on stage. She smiles broadly but doesn't speak. Indeed, there's something of the mad house about her; locked for years in a short-time room in the old premises, she has suddenly been released into the community.
I must take a break here. I will return tomorrow to continue the report.
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Quote:
Originally Posted by
poshglasgow
Oh, incidentally, many thanks for the nudge about the Pattaya Beer Bar. It was jumping every night and it is indeed a fine place for a sundowner.
I presume you mean Pattaya Beer Garden? Glad you liked there... I will let my BF know you approved it!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
poshglasgow
The ultimate she-bitch from hell lurks in the dark recesses of Cupidol.
Not sure which of the mamasans you are referring to... But I have known Em for years(he used to own Nok Nok and ran Sawatdee boys and MicMy in the past) and I find him ok.
Although opinions on him can be quite polarizing... Note I call Em a "he" as for me he will always be the guy in hip hop clothes I remember from years ago!
One thing for sure is he knows how to recruit cute guys, cupidol definitely has the best collection of twinky boys in Pattaya at the moment... and he also knows to create an atmosphere in a bar (of course atmosphere can again be polarizing - but I prefer a bit of boister to the staid coldness of some of the bars!)
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Poshglasgow: A beautifully written post. Rather a bit too literary to be confined to SGT. Deserves a wider audience.
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Yes. A fantastic combination of memories past and experiences now. Thanks Poshglasgow.
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Wonderful writing, poshglasgow! A quality of prose rarely seen here. Do please post more often.
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Can't wait for the next installment.
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
There was the most incredible dancer in Throb, circa 2003/2004, called 'Art' with whom I very nearly fell in love. That's a lie, I did fall in love with him. He had the most beautiful face and bleached hair, and his dancing prowess was that of a gracious adonis. When I called him over to sit with me after the show on my first encounter with him I felt that I had effected the most beautiful, valuable catch in the whole of the local gay community that evening, until (cue the opening bars of the music for Jaws) a wealthy, colossal German entered the bar with an entourage of pallbearers, punkhawallas, petal scatterers, trumpeters, minders and half a football team of young Thai men hanging on his arms. Suddenly this man became the focus of attention and Art mumbled something about returning later and moved off to join the German's party. I did, however, meet up with Art on many occasions after that night. And then a year later - come on we've all experienced this one - I arrived into Don Muang(as one did in those days)eager to beat a path to the door of Throb to find Art and pick up where we had left off, but he had gone.
"Gone where?" I asked the mamasan.
"Not sure, I think he go with German man."
"Which German man?"
"Not sure."
And then one of the other waiters approached with some good and some bad news. This is a waiter who eventually went to Dream Boys and one whom I had always tipped well when at Throb. He massaged my neck and arms with great care and precision, and although not attractive he was attentive and professional.
"Art, he go new bar: Happy Place. He manager."
I left Throb and went immediately to Pattayaland Soi 2 and straight into Happy Place (I think I've got the correct name of the now empty bar which stands next to a restaurant which, in those days, I think was called the New Orleans). Art was there. We picked up where we left off and spent some quality time together. I returned to the UK to make some more money to re-visit. Six months later, I was back in Pattaya to see Art. I was becoming besotted: hooked. Was this what love felt like? I entered Happy Place.
"Art, not work here now."
"Christ, not again. Where he go? Why he go?" I'm in Pattaya five minutes and already I'm speaking like a five-year-old on the verge of a tantrum at the check-out!
"I don't know, I think he go back home."
He consulted one of the other waiters and returned with more news - dreadful news; ghastly news; the worst sort of news short of death by motorcycle!
"Art, he now manager in XXXXX," and he told me the name of a well-known girlie bar in Pattayaland Soi 2.
"Eh?"
"He manager."
"A girlie bar?"
"Sure."
I froze. In a little under five minutes I would enter one of the most vibrant, heel-kicking, Ping-Pong ball-popping, dart-firing girlie bars in South East Asia: no, in the world! Would I survive? The prospect filled me with fear and trepidation. What if a girl were to jump from the stage onto my face? How am I going to deal with an environment which had never held the slightest fascination for me?
Art was there. He was moving around the stage much as a shepherd does near the sheep pen in the final moments of the sheepdog's triumph, and it was some time before he saw me. I was spellbound. I had never seen so many naked tits in my life, and I had a sudden irrational fear that one of the girls would creep up behind me and shove her tit in my mouth! God knows why that thought pervaded my entire psyche at that moment. The last time I had a tit in my mouth was when I was six months old and even then I had to share it with a man who smoked sixty gold flake a day!
Art and I lost touch some years ago. He went for a time to a bar in Soi Twilight and from there to Germany (quelle surprise). The last I heard was that he had returned to Patts, bought a motorbike with a 'mobile kitchen' attached to it and had a patch somewhere near Second Road. I couldn't help thinking that the versatility and speed of his wrists were going to be bloody useful when attacking the wok!
Last week, I drank enough beer to give me enough courage to venture into Eros. My God, how long has the tall blond worked that bar now I wonder? With a skip onto the podium and a flick of the loin cloth he's up in front of your face. Like sharks, the rest of the shoal swim over to circle the new Farang; the scent of the wallet so strong that it attracts them from miles around. I smile politely and avoid eye contact. And then, thank God, and on cue in comes the big fellow with the sticks, white shin-length socks and a hair do not unlike Trump's. He's been on the circuit a few years. He sits down opposite the door and Wham!! They're on him. It's like something out of an Alfred Hitchcock movie. He's covered in boys! They're on his lap, they're at his back, two on the floor: every available seat around his is taken by them. I sit alone, look around me and then I focus, nostalgically, on the curtain which conceals an area where once, on a previous visit, I was led by an enthusiastic host to a couch.
Maybe a few more lines tomorrow, gentlemen? I don’t want to over-stay my welcome.
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
LOVE is a great thing isn't it! It can get you to do things you never once imagined yourself doing.....crawl in some strange places just because of a flicker of love! :)
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Indeed Colmx, it was the Pattaya Beer Garden. It was buzzing with life. Great to see a venue doing so well. Many thanks.
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Thanks again, poshglasgow. Another beautifully written post.
So many of us wind up fixating on a particular boy. If we are lucky, he eventually disappears and we can get on with our lives. If we are unlucky, he remains available and we enter a phase of frustration, jealousy and disappointment in our lack of good sense. There is really no need to fixate. If an Art 1 leaves the scene, there will always be an Art 2, Art 3....
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
The part about Eros. Wonderful.
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Thank you for those posts poshglasgow....you Scottish guys can really write well!
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Thank you everyone for the kind comments, but I get as much pleasure from writing these few lines as some of you are getting from reading them; it brings back great memories for many of us.
Now, everyone needs a Nana! In Scotland it’s a term of endearment usually reserved for grandmothers. In Pattaya, Nana lives at Panorama, next door to Twinkie Palace (Cupidol). I always pay Nana a visit in the early evening when I’m in Pattaya, and Nana, complete with black polo shirt and sensible glasses welcomes his regulars like long-lost friends before leading them willingly into a Goss-Fest like no other. Nana loves a bit of gossip and if Nana doesn’t know what’s going on in Boyztown in terms of who’s doing what to whom and how often then it’s not worth knowing. He scans the soi like an owl and nothing misses his attention. My God, you should have seen the look he gave me when I stopped off at Serene Bar, next door, to chat with the skinny flirtatious Max (who told me last week that he once worked in Sunee). I waved at Nana to indicate that all was well and that he would be my next port of call on my extensive itinerary. I was forgiven.
How many, like me, are amazed at, and often worried by, the superb memories of Thais.
“I look you before; I see you Jomtiem.”
“When?”
“Last year I see you - with dog.”
Rather harsh, I thought, given that I am not in the habit of choosing ugly companions.
And then he proves it by describing the afternoon I tripped backwards over a sleeping dog behind the deckchairs and he helped me to my feet, while laughing hysterically.
Talking of Jomtien, are you aware that there are snakes in the trees above the deckchairs in the gay stretch? Yes, seriously. Now, I’m not sure whether these small green serpents are dangerous or not, but strolling from the Pattaya Park swimming area towards the Police station, passing the ‘area’ with our deckchairs, I saw a ‘stick’ fall from one of the trees a little way ahead of me. The stick moved and then took off towards the deckchairs. A large Thai lady let out a shout, grabbed a brush and pursued it before it shot under a stack of redundant deckchairs. Word got around quickly, and soon a number of resting farang had leapt onto their chairs, while the search continued. The terrified reptile remained deep under the stack of chairs. Soon, everyone lost interest and went back to cooking, massaging, flirting, selling DVDs and themselves. The farang were reluctant to place their feet back on the sand, some sitting hunched for some time like gargoyles on Notre Dame Cathedral.
Pattaya Park, a welcome break from the beach, serves as an excellent sun trap, but oh dear, I recall the tragic drowning of fifteen-year-old British boy about eight years ago. It was a terrible story. He had lost his sunglasses in the water and fearing they had gone through one of the large square filtration holes, at the foot of the pool, protected by an iron grill, he dived down, lifted the grill and was sucked into the pool’s filtration unit. They found his body, in the presence of his desperate father, in the pump house. British dad and Thai mum, all on holiday from the west of England. Tragic; I could have cried when I read that. I often think of the story when I am in the region.
Do remember the old days of the Copa when the bar was managed by Kevin, the chap with throat cancer (not sure if he survived it), and the show was one of the best in the area by far? Boys not Katoeys was the slogan, and there wasn’t a drag queen of the lip-sync variety anywhere on the programme. Hooray!!!!! There were a couple of very amusing acts: one in which a wild, energetic boy dressed as a dog bounded through the club and ‘humped’ various guests. Another excellent act was the ‘Sister Act’ number: I will follow him. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPpd-6X3tEo
I have yet to find a show in Patts where there are no drag queens of the lip-sync variety: can’t bear them: they have the same effect on me as clowns outside a children’s playground. If anyone knows of a bar where only the boys dance and perform, without unwelcome interruptions from some Danny La Rue lookalikes dripping in sequins, wigs like Marge Simpson, clockwork, trembling mouths bearing the most outrageous trout-pouts and with their cocks pulled backwords and inserted into their anuses to form a not very convincing camel toe, then do please let me know for my next visit.
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
These are awesome posts Poshglasgow. But I see X-boys looking tired and 360' bar not getting going and Funny Boys closing and I see Boyztown going the same way as Sunee.
However I would add that for the moment, Pattaya is very well stocked with lots of handsome and willing boys both gay and straight.
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Although I fail to see the comparison between the glamorous and talented Danny La Rue (who always sang live) and the low-rent lip-synchers of Pattaya, the fact is that PoshGlasgow must surely be in line for some literary award......
.....the Hooker Prize maybe?
:p
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Quote:
Originally Posted by
scottish-guy
. . . PoshGlasgow must surely be in line for some literary award . . . :p
. . . Or, the Nob Prize in Literature, perhaps? I can’t recall the last time I saw such fine writing on the forum. Yes, very impressive, poshglasgow. I do believe you are going to be a very welcome member of our small band of brothers.
;)
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Not really relevant but nowhere else to post it
I had a very Thai day today. I got caught in the torrential rain and thunder near Sriracha. The journey back (on a motorbike) involved riding through over a foot of ukky water, discussing with fellow travellers the best way to go, long detours to avoid flooded Sukumvhit, Thais standing shotgun in case a bike got stuck, following in convoy the only guy who knew the way and getting pretty wet while being scared of being struck by lightening. What a hoot.
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Jellybean
I can’t recall the last time I saw such fine writing on the forum. Yes, very impressive,
Oh well, back to the drawing board.
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
I know he's a right cheeky cunt isn't he
:beee:
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Quote:
Originally Posted by
a447
Oh well, back to the drawing board.
Oh dear! Yes, I see. My intention was to praise poshglasgow for his fine writing style and not to criticise other members. My Bad! As a punishment, I shall self flagellate later today. :)
But fear not a447, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your writing style, which is pretty unique and requires no further improvement. Mine on the other hand, well yes, as a primary school teacher once said in my annual report card, “Could do better”, and that still applies today.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
scottish-guy
I know he's a right cheeky [expletive deleted] isn't he
:beee:
Oh my goodness! Such unparliamentary language, such profanity scottish-guy. I’m shocked to the core. In fact, my core has never been so shocked.
Well, it is perfectly clear to me you’re not from the posh side of Glasgow, that’s for sure, not with such a potty mouth.
;)
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
After reading poshglasgow's (can "posh" and "glasgow" be mentioned in the same sentence, let alone the same word?) posts, I'm now reluctant to post my own tales of lust in LOS! I mean, how do I follow that??
Posting here will never be the same again! Lol
Superb style, poshglasgow. I loved every word.
.BTW, the story of the boy who drowned is very sad indeed.
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Jellybean
..it is perfectly clear to me you’re not from the posh side of Glasgow....
Im struggling to acknowledge (as a447 suggests) that there's a posh side of Glasgow at all. The two most expensive areas are technically outside Glasgow City which only leaves Kelvinside where the people are not so much posh as "aw fur coat and nae knickers".
The only time the elderly queens of that area travel Port Out and Starboard Home is on the bus with their concession ticket after a soujourn to Miss Cranston's for tea & scones..... and banter
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YkhtpYIRHAU
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
That sounded amusing. May we now have the translation? :D
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Quote:
Originally Posted by
scottish-guy
Im struggling to acknowledge (as a447 suggests) that there's a posh side of Glasgow at all. The two most expensive areas are technically outside Glasgow City which only leaves Kelvinside where the people are not so much posh as "aw fur coat and nae knickers" . . .
Well, scottish-guy, strangely enough, I was thinking exactly the same thing myself. But after your comment, in reaction to my post at number #16, I was, understandably, reluctant to voice my thoughts on the forum.
God alone knows what a torrent of abuse I might have received. The only thing worse I can think of is something I heard the Scottish gay comedian, Craig Hill, say at a show at the Edinburgh Festival. And that was to call someone, er, em, . . . forgive me, members of a delicate constitution, and do remember I am quoting . . . “Hey you! CuntyMcFuck!”
:mocking_mini:
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Thank you for the kind comments. I am glad that many of you have enjoyed walking with me among some of the ghosts of Pattaya.
Let me reciprocate the compliment. I admire the writing skills of many on this board, particularly (and please understand that this is not a case of the Scots sticking together) Scottish-Guy. I have read many of his posts and enjoyed them immensely – as I have the posts of many of you. What I find slightly disturbing and upsetting are the spats that break out between members but it is great to see some sensible intervention by members and the administrator to cool things down. God knows that at some time in our lives as gay men we have had to overcome attacks and marginalisation from many quarters, without attacking each other at this stage in our lives.
Now, the question was asked: is there are a posh area of Glasgow. Well, when I was born in the city in the early fifties in the Kelvinside area in the West it was indeed a most beautiful area and I’m please to say that many parts of the West End have retained some startling architectural features.
Something completely different. I have been reading the posts about the Daily Mirror’s (not a rag that I read) proclamation that Pattaya is ‘sin city’. What I think we have to watch is the possible fallout - the authority’s reaction to what they perceive to be international bad press. We don’t want them to over-react and carpet bomb areas of the city to clean it up. It is what it is! But there was nothing new in that report and there are so many fine tourist attractions in this great country that talk of prostitutes is not going to harm the tourist trade one bit. One post that I read mentioned the devastating effect of cleansing the city of its ubiquitous nightlife with so many Thai nationals depending on it for their income – much of which is sent back home to the farms and rice fields.
I think the Mirror is doing what the News of the World did for years before its welcome demise: paint Pattaya and Thailand in the worst possible light ever. In so doing - and this is the paradox – it stirred a curiosity among thousands of its readers, inadvertently increasing the number of people who wanted to visit the city!! So, in a way, it was great for tourism. Let them write what they like but we have to watch for any over-reaction which could lead to a gradual dismantling of the Pattaya that we all know and love.
We’ve all been down this road before with the newspaper features on the Sunee Plaza and Royal Garden Plaza of yesteryear. But that sleeze moved on somewhere else a long time ago. I see no sign now, whatsoever, of the issues that once haunted certain areas of the city, and I am quite convinced that the world now has that message too.
Let them write about girlie bars and Walking Street: who gives a damn? My own view? Things are not going to change very much any time soon.
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Poshglasgow,
You write so well. English is my third language, and I have learned so much about writing from reading your posts.
Please also write about the Bangkok scene.
I look forward to your future posts.
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Quote:
Originally Posted by poshglasgow
I have been reading the posts about the Daily Mirror’s … proclamation that Pattaya is ‘sin city’. ……there are so many fine tourist attractions in this great country that talk of prostitutes is not going to harm the tourist trade one bit.
I find that to be a very naïve statement. Most tourists who do indeed visit this ‘great county’ for the ‘many fine tourist attractions’ usually keep well clear of Pattaya, for the very reason of it’s reputation of Sin City. That is what the current government is trying to change.
Hundreds of thousands of Chinese Tourists are starting to travel across Asia and, in the coming years, there are likely to be similar numbers of similarly wealthy Indian tourists. The vast majority of these people are seeking family-orientated experiences and are not sex-tourists intent on spending their Yuan or Rupee in Sunee Plaza or Walking Street.
Quote:
Originally Posted by poshglasgow
I think the Mirror is …[tying to] ….paint Pattaya and Thailand in the worst possible light ever. In so doing - and this is the paradox – it stirred a curiosity among thousands of its readers, inadvertently increasing the number of people who wanted to visit the city!! So, in a way, it was great for tourism.
Another very naïve statement: A few thousand Mirror readers from the UK, whose curiosity is piqued by such titivating articles, will make no difference, one way or other to Pattaya’s tourism industry.
Quote:
Originally Posted by poshglasgow
We’ve all been down this road before with the newspaper features on the Sunee Plaza and Royal Garden Plaza of yesteryear. But that sleeze moved on somewhere else a long time ago. I see no sign now, whatsoever, of the issues that once haunted certain areas of the city, and I am quite convinced that the world now has that message too.
Naïve statement #3: The world’s perception of Pattaya is still exactly as those articles from yesteryear portrayed it. Most tourists looking for a great location for a family holiday will not be satisfied by the precise age of a sex-worker on an ID card, As long as there are bars with young boys and girls on stage in their underwear, even if they all turned 18 last week, the majority of tourists will go elsewhere.
Quote:
Originally Posted by poshglasgow
Let them write about girlie bars and Walking Street: who gives a damn? My own view? Things are not going to change very much any time soon.
Don’t look now dear, but that was #4: Most other posters on this forum suggest that things have already changed a lot and that the rate of change is increasing…..
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Most kind of you to say so Werner. Good luck with your language studies and continued progress in English.
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Quote:
Originally Posted by
MiniMee
Most tourists who do indeed visit this ‘great county’ for the ‘many fine tourist attractions’ usually keep well clear of Pattaya
I'd have thought many people do indeed think of Pattaya as a great county but I fear you've got one too many vowels there
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
a bit belated...but poshglasgow u most certainly have a way with words..have reread your posts several times and am still able to break out into a fit of giggles every time. As for falling in love...am afraid that Im more the total butterfly type..once I've had him I just want something new...will do seconds but maybe on the next visit.
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Many thanks, Latin, for the kind words.
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Quote:
Originally Posted by latintopxxx
..have reread your post several times and am still able to break out into a fit of giggles every time.
Yes! Me too. Teeeheehee.
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Forgive me, this sudden posting lark will not become a habit, but after a day during which I write for hours in front of a screen I find it incredibly relaxing to come off task and throw my mind six thousand miles over to Pattaya to re-live the past: if only for a few minutes.
Scotty, I’ve been visiting Thailand for nearly thirty years and would love to have seen the poodle on the motorcycle at least once (as the say in Edinburgh, “What a sight!”) I’m sorry I missed it but it must have been quite extraordinary. Mind you, when you see a whole family - including monkey - perched upon a single moped plodding along Sukhumvit I dare say few eyes would have turned at the sight of a poodle on a motorcycle (sounds like the title to the sequel of Paula Hawkins' ‘Girl on a Train’).
I’m still reeling from the disparaging remarks aimed at the gay clientele that I heard in that awful straight bar near the Cattery. The one thing of which I am sure is that the gay community possess a level of intelligence and social decorum that these Neanderthals can only dream of achieving. There is no doubt that in every evil, blasphemous, homophobic diatribe there is jealousy at the root of their dissatisfaction. Some of the most creative, successful, inspirational, charismatic people that ever walked this planet were/are gay; things haven’t changed. Even while listening to those clinging for dear life to the few brain cells that remain after years of thrashing around in the Sea of Singha, I was consoled by the thought that we are, in many quarters, a much-admired community. Yes, of course, we are occasionally let down by a few who embarrass themselves and others but on the whole we are a smart lot and we do attract a degree of jealousy.
I was sitting here in the south of England this evening reading the post of another member when my mind was suddenly transported back years ago to some of the shows that I recall in Pattaya and thinking – with a measure of nostalgia – about the ways in which they have been reeled in. I can still see quite vividly the young men pulling yards, nay furlongs, nay miles of coloured tape from their arses and wrapping them around the chrome poles upon which amazing nocturnal gymnastics were performed at some stage during the evening. There were guys squatting and laying a series of eggs, intact, onto plates; there was much sloshing of soap around the place; there was the drizzling of candle wax over flesh to the accompanying music of Officium, with its haunting saxophone motif creating a fourth dimension to the dimly lit proceedings.
I must share something with you. One evening, many years ago, in Throb, I was pulled, as many customers were in those days, onto the stage, and shoved on my back, in a mock attack. I was rolled around a little and then escorted back to my seat in the front row. After a while, I began to notice the most obnoxious smell. It wouldn’t go away. It followed me to the toilet and followed me back again. I looked around me and then slowly, surreptitiously, began to sniff at my armsand hands. I had only an hour beforehand showered in my room at the Ambiance and put on a fresh shirt. When I came in I smelt of Givenchy Gentlemen. On the way out I smelt like a Turkish Oil wrestler’s jockstrap. It couldn’t possibly be me. I am fastidiously clean and care very much about personal hygiene, but it was all pervading: a veritable assault upon the senses. What the fuck was it? Was I rotting from within? Was this God’s revenge for the excesses of the previous evening? I could stand it no more so I went back to my room and took off my shirt. It was the shirt! The shirt stank. To be precise, the back of the shirt stank, where I had been rolled about on the podium upon which thirty pairs of sweaty feet had danced, jumped, jived and stamped all evening. Foot sweat with, I have no doubt, a good measure of semi-dried jissum mixed into the equation, and the essence of the oily mop used to swab the podium after a cum show! That was exactly what it was: the smell of dirty feet, plus ingredients, and to this day when I’m sitting in a go-go bar watching the dancers in their bare feet I am transported back to that fateful night!
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Be careful as some on here might ask "would you still have that shirt by any chance and if so I'll give you £20 for it!" lol ( and no that's NOT an offer just to be clear ! :-)
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Quote:
Originally Posted by
poshglasgow
. I can still see quite vividly the young men pulling yards, nay furlongs, nay miles of coloured tape from their arses and wrapping them around the chrome poles upon which amazing nocturnal gymnastics were performed at some stage during the evening. There were guys squatting and laying a series of eggs, intact, onto plates; there was much sloshing of soap around the place; there was the drizzling of candle wax over flesh to the accompanying music of Officium, with its haunting saxophone motif creating a fourth dimension to the dimly lit proceedings.
you missed out on the old show the guy pouring a bottle of Fanta up his ass... and then moments later emptying what appeared to be coke back into a coke bottle!
And of course the dart show... which my BF used to refer to as the fart show! And always wait outside until it was done!
I have never heard of Officium, even a google of the music doesn't sound familiar... I always thought that the mandatory music for gogo shows came from enigma!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2OpBBzHCSgI
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1 Attachment(s)
Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Quote:
Originally Posted by
poshglasgow
I can still see quite vividly the young men pulling yards, nay furlongs, nay miles of coloured tape from their arses
Goodness, I had completely forgotten that this was common in most of the go-go bar shows in Bangkok as well. I don't recall any eggs, though! I trust they were hard-boiled and of the quail variety!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
colmx
I have never heard of Officium
It was a hugely popular CD released in 1994 by the Norwegian saxophonist Jan Garbarek along with a quartet of classical singers, the Hilliard Ensemble. Hauntingly beautiful. It was almost as common for a while as John Williams' opening music for Star Wars which always introduced the start of go-go bar shows. It sometimes accompanied the slow sensuous soap bubble on naked bodies routine in the shows. Much classier in those days!!
Attachment 4289
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOmPOfaOx1U
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
Quote:
Originally Posted by
colmx
Awwww that brought me right back, I could almost smell the candle wax dripping on the guys chest and arms as that music played there ! :-)
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
The arse- trumpeting ladyboy in Thai Boys Bar was the most unfrogettable coup de theatre I've seen in Thailand. She squatted down, a kids' toy trumpet was laid next to her voluinous backside and...out it came. Not Dizzy Gillepsie, of course, but a painful squeaking sound. It was in F sharp major, I think.
This marvel then proceeded to shoot darts from her anus at ballooons. Her aim was surprisingly good. Fortunately so, since the bar was very busy. News had travelled fast that she was to perform.
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Re: Pattaya bars - a review
F sharp major would be quite some feat on a toy trumpet probably tuned to C major! :yahoo_mini: