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Who here is truly monogamous?
I'm curious, how many here in a relationship are truly monogamous? My apologies if I'm wrong, but it seems many gay individuals can't and/or don't want to keep their dicks to one partner. Many seem to want a partner, but only as long as they can have friends with benefits on the side. I've never quite understood that, as in my mind, it diminishes the entire relationship, and the entire reason of being together.
So anyway, I'm curious, who here is truly monogamous?
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Originally Posted by cdnmatt
So anyway, I'm curious, who here is truly monogamous?
Why not start out by telling the truth about your status? Many posters ask personal questions of others but don't reveal their own preferences. So Matt, are you truly monogamous?
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Originally Posted by francois
So Matt, are you truly monogamous?
100%, and I wouldn't dream of cheating on him. I'm about 98% certain he doesn't cheat on me as well.
I've been thinking about this lately. I've had a horrible month, and due to everything going wrong that could go wrong, I lost about 18 months of work. That hurt, badly. It also kicked me into gear, forced me to leave my comfort zone, and take risks again. I don't know, and maybe I'm just weak, but I couldn't imagine going at this life alone. Especially when you're an entrepreneur. All that uncertainty, all those risks, people constantly clawing at you like vultures trying to get something from you, and so on.
I need someone to share this journey called life with. I need to know that no matter what happens, everything will be ok, because every night there's always going to be that same person here to give me a hug, to cook dinner with, to sleep beside, to help take care of our dogs, or pay our bills, or go shopping with. Let's me turn myself off from all the bullshit life offers, and I need that to stay strong.
So why would I risk throwing all that away, just to have sex with someone I barely know? Not to mention, do you think we'd ever had great, passionate sex like usual, if either of us knew we were cheating on the other? Never.
That's love for ya.
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Originally Posted by cdnmatt
I've had a horrible month, and due to everything going wrong that could go wrong, I lost about 18 months of work. That hurt, badly. I'm just weak. All that uncertainty, all those risks, people constantly clawing at you like vultures trying to get something from you, and so on.
And that's also why I don't understand a good portion of the gay community. You seem to be completely missing out on what life offers, and what matters.
Since you admit your life is a nightmare, your rotten karma catching up with you no doubt, then why do you preach to others how to live? Do you honestly believe that any sane person would want to be in your shoes after all the crap you have brought up in your posts, once even telling us that your lovely boyfriend would castrate you if he caught you with another boy?
Why is it that the biggest dipshit fucksticks want to tell others what they are missing out on and how to live their lives?
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
I agree with the comments of Thai Dyed above.
OP would you kindly try not to preach to others just because you are in a what you claim to be a monogamous relationship plus you appear to be slightly delusional as well. In my opinion much of of the excitement of the "gay scene"is being able to have a choice of multiple sex partners and the excitement of a new one often.
Monogomy et al is a concept from the straight world etc., and must be very boring.
Whatever the state of your business or work just remember that you are a walking ATM for your current Thai who is suckering you for all you are worth so you had better make sure that the rice bowl you provide to the Thai and the rest of his leeches is not empty.
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
While I am in a relationship, it is an open one.
I get to play with other boys and he gets to play with girls. Just that nobody gets to sleep in our bed or sleep over.
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Originally Posted by homeseeker
Whatever the state of your business or work just remember that you are a walking ATM for your current Thai who is suckering you for all you are worth so you had better make sure that the rice bowl you provide to the Thai and the rest of his leeches is not empty.
I take it, making a comment like that, that you personnally know Matt's other half, and I would also presume that you have been taken for a ride more than once to be able to judge all Thais as only being in a relationship as long as the ATM is full? If you are a regular reader of this forum you will know that there are actually a few who post who are in long term relationships that do not revolve around the size of a bank balance! Matt is also young which unlike a great many who visit places like Sunee doesn't have to buy sex.
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Originally Posted by combat
Matt is also young which unlike a great many who visit places like Sunee doesn't have to buy sex.
Just where the fuck do you think Matt found his boy toy? He picked up a whore. And where? Haven't you followed his epic saga Combat? He has also posted in excruciating detail the sums he has already thrown at him. Don't you remember the stories about all that crap. And you really believe this is a free ride Matt is getting? OMG!
Do you think I give a shit about Matt having a monogamous relationship? He can do what ever the fuck he pleases, but I wish he would stop carping about those of us who do not want to follow in his benighted footsteps. He even knows that most gays are not the least bit interested in having a monogamous affair. He accuses others of not knowing "what matters".
It was Matt who said "And that's also why I don't understand a good portion of the gay community." Well, of course he doesn't. He's a self-centered pompous dipshit fuckstick who thinks his shit doesn't stink and expects everyone else to linger over his every pathetic comment born of his self-righteousness.
Matt said "You seem to be completely missing out on what life offers, and what matters." Oh... spare me!
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
'Wow' if a person who posts can make you that angry Thai Dyed what ever are you like when they do it to you in person, it just doesn't bare thinking about? If he gets your goat up that much why don't you put him on ignore?
BTW Do you really think that all those who are in stable longtime relationships actually met their boyfriends in a Temple? I think not, and from your way of thinking "once a whore always a whore" how sad, but each to their own...
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
Can someone explain to me why monogamy is so highly valued? From what I can tell, those who insist on monogamy are placing the price of their relationship on their partner being deprived of the pleasures of sexual adventuring. If you truly loved your partner wouldn't you want them to find as much pleasure in life as possible? I also think that requiring monogamy is laying the groundwork for deceit. Even if one doesn't bed another, I think wanting to is pretty close to the same thing - and that lust is part of being human. Also, does monogamy extend to masturbation? The whole idea seems nutty to me.
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
Monogamy..well i once described it like this I absolutely love vanilla ice cream and always go back to it. But everyone once in a while i have to have some maple walnut or coffee or chocolate or other scrumptious flavor Ice cream is so yummy you just have to try them all. But I will still go back to Vanilla cause thats the one I love best of all. Now I can't say it's good for anyone else but I don't have to. It works for me, that's what matters.... me and my....
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
Monogamy is a decision for the only two people involved and no one else.
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
And let's not forget that Matt makes his living by sucking up to pornographers yet he can't comprehend infidelity. Oh dear me.
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Originally Posted by thonglor55
And let's not forget that Matt makes his living by sucking up to pornographers yet he can't comprehend infidelity. Oh dear me.
You sound like an decrepit old Victorian Spinster from a Charles Dickens novel. Is it lonely on that planet you seem to occupy wherever it is?
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Originally Posted by combat
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Originally Posted by thonglor55
And let's not forget that Matt makes his living by sucking up to pornographers yet he can't comprehend infidelity. Oh dear me.
You sound like an decrepit old Victorian Spinster from a Charles Dickens novel. Is it lonely on that planet you seem to occupy wherever it is?
And what planet sir are you from!
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Originally Posted by combat
You sound like an decrepit old Victorian Spinster from a Charles Dickens novel.
Which character in which novel in particular are you basing that on? I'm familiar with all of Dickens' works but that particular characterisation doesn't ring any bells. Perhaps you can enlighten us (but I suspect not)? You're surely not going to suggest Miss Haversham?
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
wow what's with all the haters?
it amuses me how people always see the world through their own experiences.
expats in pattaya see thailand as gogo bars and money boys and little else.
old promiscuous queens spending their retirement on hookers see the entire
gay world as drugs and prostitution.
maybe there's a whole world out there you're just simply unfamiliar with.
i have many monogamous gay friends. it's not as uncommon as you may
think. anyone can get laid. it takes more than 800 baht and a boner to
have a meaningful relationship.
so kudos to matt, i say. i'm single now but when i'm in a relationship i
much prefer being monogamous over an open relationship. it feels better
giving all of myself to one person who does the same with me.
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Originally Posted by netrix
Maybe there's a whole world out there you're just simply unfamiliar with. I have many monogamous gay friends. It's not as uncommon as you may think, anyone can get laid. It takes more than 800 baht and a boner to have a meaningful relationship.
So kudos to matt, i say. i'm single now but when i'm in a relationship i much prefer being monogamous over an open relationship. it feels better
giving all of myself to one person who does the same with me.
I couldn't agree more with you netrix, and what Matt does or might not do for a living has absolutely nothing to do with his relationship or indeed his original post. It doesn't matter what he or some others post in here they would get attacked or belittled whatever!
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Originally Posted by combat
I couldn't agree more with you netrix, and what Matt does or might not do for a living has absolutely nothing to do with his relationship or indeed his original post. It doesn't matter what he or some others post in here they would get attacked or belittled whatever!
You sound like an decrepit old Victorian Spinster from a Charles Dickens novel. Is it lonely on that planet you seem to occupy wherever it is?[quote combat]
Me thinks white man speaks with falk tongue!
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Originally Posted by White Knight
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Originally Posted by combat
I couldn't agree more with you netrix, and what Matt does or might not do for a living has absolutely nothing to do with his relationship or indeed his original post. It doesn't matter what he or some others post in here they would get attacked or belittled whatever!
Me thinks white man speaks with falk tongue!
Four posts and already you are jumping in feet first, I wonder what handle you used before? But only time will tell on that one!
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
I see combat cant answer thonglor55s question about Dickens no surprise really hes always big noting himself.
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
well back to the question,I really want to be monogamous ,i love my boy dearly .
Before i met him i was a butterfly but fell so much in love with him
But i stopped being the butterfly ,i just see 1 other and it still CHEATING
What i think is missing in this relationship is he sincere
for you Matt 98% may aswell be 50 % you have doubt
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
Great topic...
I'm monogamous when I'm in a relationship. I think when you go into a meaningful relationship you should stay monogamous unless you discuss with it with the other guy first or when it's pretty clear it's just in a non-serious "casual sex buddy" thing you have going.
Having said that... the same shoe doesn't fit everyone and I think it's great there's a diversity of approaches. Everyone's needs/situation is different and what works for Matt might not work for someone else.
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Originally Posted by cdnmatt
I'm curious, how many here in a relationship are truly monogamous?
Hehe... when I first read this I was thinking, "so Matt, you've been with Kim over a year now. Starting to get frisky?".
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Originally Posted by cdnmatt
I couldn't imagine going at this life alone.
Yeah, entrepreneurship can be lonely and sometimes I think it'd be a hell of a lot easier having someone beside me. I'm lucky to have really good mates though...
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Originally Posted by cdnmatt
So why would I risk throwing all that away, just to have sex with someone I barely know?
Interesting way to put it...
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Originally Posted by RichLB
Can someone explain to me why monogamy is so highly valued?
I don't think it's the be all and end all, but there's certainly value in it. But life long monogamy from a young age is too much to ask and too much to miss out on.
I've had a lot of one-nighters and flings so far but sometimes get bored of them. I'm in my mid-twenties so I think for now, the thing to do is get it out of my system before I start craving stability too much.
Eventually I'll get in a more emotionally intimate and long-term relationship and that's when things'll change. I'm happy to be monogamous but I can compromise if my partner differs. I'd be comfortable having the odd fling occasionally when the craving arises, perhaps together (threesome...?) but definitely be open and transparent about it. Not healthy to do it behind each other's back. It leads to miss-trust and jealousy issues.
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Originally Posted by RichLB
From what I can tell, those who insist on monogamy are placing the price of their relationship on their partner being deprived of the pleasures of sexual adventuring. If you truly loved your partner wouldn't you want them to find as much pleasure in life as possible?
I agree. Perhaps some people need to think it through a bit more and perhaps some have thought it through and decided they want monogamy. The thing is to be flexible, empathise and understand how your partner might feel and be willing to compromise if you feel it's worthwhile.
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Originally Posted by netrix
wow what's with all the haters?
I agree...
Them haters can't tell you nothing...
Them haters can't tell you nothing...
Them haters can't tell you nothing...
[youtube:2t52kij7]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tAZ33W-cfpY[/youtube:2t52kij7]
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Originally Posted by combat
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Originally Posted by White Knight
Me thinks white man speaks with falk tongue!
Four posts and already you are jumping in feet first, I wonder what handle you used before? But only time will tell on that one!
Happyboy/Undaunted is back throwing out insults and being a ridiculous moron again... Is Gaybutton not keeping him occupied?
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Originally Posted by combat
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Originally Posted by thonglor55
And let's not forget that Matt makes his living by sucking up to pornographers yet he can't comprehend infidelity. Oh dear me.
You sound like an decrepit old Victorian Spinster from a Charles Dickens novel. Is it lonely on that planet you seem to occupy wherever it is?
Homintern/Thonglor55 resides on planet f*ckstick. He's an all-round f*ckstick who actually contributes NOTHING to this forum but jabs and arsehole comments. Nice members like cdnmatt shouldn't have to deal with losers like this but such is life...
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Originally Posted by Thai Dyed
Do you think I give a shit about Matt having a monogamous relationship? He can do what ever the fuck he pleases, but I wish he would stop carping about those of us who do not want to follow in his benighted footsteps.
Well, considering the childish tantrum you just threw, you're obviously not very comfortable in your own skin. You're right, that comment you quoted was out of line, hence why I removed it. Obviously not quick enough, because you seen it before I had the chance to remove it.
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Originally Posted by RichLB
Can someone explain to me why monogamy is so highly valued?
Excellent question. It's because you can share yourself with someone. You're never alone, because there's somebody out there who knows all your secrets and idiosyncrasies, and you know all of theirs. It's all ok though, including the bad stuff about each of you, because you love each other. It's also because no matter what happens, and regardless of how successful or lucky you are, life WILL knock you on your ass. That's just a simple fact of life. When that happens, having someone fully behind you to support you, makes all the difference in the world.
That's why monogamy is highly valued. You can't have that if you're sleeping around, and sharing your body with others.
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Originally Posted by homeseeker
Whatever the state of your business or work just remember that you are a walking ATM for your current Thai who is suckering you for all you are worth so you had better make sure that the rice bowl you provide to the Thai and the rest of his leeches is not empty.
Is he with me for financial benefit and a better life? Of course, and I'm under no delusions. Would he be with me if I was Thai? Probably not. Does he love me? Absolutely. Is he to be there when life kicks me down, and help me get back on my feet again? Absolutely, and he's proven that several times. Make of it what you will, I don't care.
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Originally Posted by netflix
wow what's with all the haters?
it amuses me how people always see the world through their own experiences.
expats in pattaya see thailand as gogo bars and money boys and little else.
Yeah, you would have thought by now I would have learned not to start discussions on a discussion forum, eh? Geez... I don't give a fuck what anyone else does, and I'm just voicing my thoughts & opinions, hence the discussion part of the forum.
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Originally Posted by BeachLover
Hehe... when I first read this I was thinking, "so Matt, you've been with Kim over a year now. Starting to get frisky?".
Ohhh, I'd be lieing if I said I hadn't thought about it. Head to Pattaya for a week to party, and have every night, massages in the morning, etc. But actions are what count though, not thoughts.
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Originally Posted by thonglor55
And let's not forget that Matt makes his living by sucking up to pornographers yet he can't comprehend infidelity.
heh, you obviously know absolutely nothing about the adult industry, do you? Do you think all that HD porn, extensive and complex marketing campaigns, high-end designs & promotional material, terabytes of data getting transferred every day, and everything else is all done by a bunch of lowlifes with camcorders? If anything, I'd say the adult industry contains a higher caliber of businessmen than most industries, simply because of the amount of money involved.
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
Good retort Matt, well put, but whatever you say or ask in here there are those who need to mock just for the hell of it.
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Originally Posted by combat
Good retort Matt, well put, but whatever you say or ask in here there are those who need to mock just for the hell of it.
Yeah, that's true. And look, you've just got to be thick skinned.
SGT's an awesome board with a lot of entertaining, intelligent, interesting characters but you have to wade through a few f*cksticks and arseholes to enjoy it.
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Originally Posted by Thai Dyed
why do you preach to others how to live?
I think you're a little sensitive or over-reactive, Thai Dyed.
How does Matt "preach" to others how to live? He puts interesting questions out for discussion. He does put his own personal view on the plate, but most importantly he puts it out for discussion.
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Originally Posted by Thai Dyed
Do you honestly believe that any sane person would want to be in your shoes after all the crap you have brought up in your posts...
I'd love to be in Matt's shoes. I love my life now, but I've got a lot of responsibilities to family and attachments. Matt sounds like he's cut the strings, put his balls on the line and started afresh. Good on him.
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Originally Posted by cdnmatt
Ohhh, I'd be lieing if I said I hadn't thought about it. Head to Pattaya for a week to party, and have every night, massages in the morning, etc. But actions are what count though, not thoughts.
I knew it! Hehe... Fair enough.
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Originally Posted by cdnmatt
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Originally Posted by thonglor55
And let's not forget that Matt makes his living by sucking up to pornographers yet he can't comprehend infidelity.
heh, you obviously know absolutely nothing about the adult industry, do you? Do you think all that HD porn, extensive and complex marketing campaigns, high-end designs & promotional material, terabytes of data getting transferred every day, and everything else is all done by a bunch of lowlifes with camcorders? If anything, I'd say the adult industry contains a higher caliber of businessmen than most industries, simply because of the amount of money involved.
Hell, I'll admit I've done work for the adult industry before, but only once. It was interesting but not really the kind of work that gets us more clients so I declined to do more.
Homintern/Thonglor55's just being an general f*ckstick trying to find ways to take jabs at you and implying you're some low-life for being involved in that industry. Ignore him.
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Originally Posted by Beachlover
Homintern/Thonglor55's just being an general f*ckstick trying to find ways to take jabs at you and implying you're some low-life for being involved in that industry. Ignore him.
And you can bet thonglor55 has never been to a Go Go Bar, offed anyone for sex or looked at any porn either. Perhaps he's one of those missionary types living in Thailand attempting to convert everyone to a virtuous life.
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
Combat/Sanook/Beachlover.........having a boring day? How many times have you flooded this board already today? around 20 posts?
Reading some of them, you seem to be in a really bad mood, go outside grab some fresh air, its good for you!
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Originally Posted by the1
Combat/Sanook/Beachlover.........having a boring day? How many times have you flooded this board already today? around 20 posts?
Reading some of them, you seem to be in a really bad mood, go outside grab some fresh air, its good for you!
You must be mistaken as his name is on here eleven times surely he must have a controlling interest or at least someones nephew.......
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Originally Posted by BEASTMASTER
You must be mistaken as his name is on here eleven times surely he must have a controlling interest or at least someones nephew.......
Hypocrite, you've posted 8 times and so far and 7 of them have been today!
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Originally Posted by combat
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Originally Posted by BEASTMASTER
You must be mistaken as his name is on here eleven times surely he must have a controlling interest or at least someones nephew.......
Hypocrite, you've posted 8 times and so far and 7 of them have been today!
Isn't it great and I actually say something other than insulting people!
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
Monogamy and fidelity have two different meanings. Monogamous doesn't mean sexual exclusivity. It means you value that relationship above all others. Fidelity with someone means sexual exclusivity. I am sure that many posters can consider themselves monogamous as they have a 'boy special' they see now and then.
Matt's relationship suits him and whether you approve or not isn't any of your business. Those that are saying negative things about his relationship are probably promiscuous queens than can't maintain anything longer that a week or two. They bring their negativity and paranoia into the situation and eventually destroy it. Too bad for them!
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Originally Posted by Thor69
Monogamy and fidelity have two different meanings. Monogamous doesn't mean sexual exclusivity. It means you value that relationship above all others. Fidelity with someone means sexual exclusivity. I am sure that many posters can consider themselves monogamous as they have a 'boy special' they see now and then.
Matt's relationship suits him and whether you approve or not isn't any of your business. Those that are saying negative things about his relationship are probably promiscuous queens than can't maintain anything longer that a week or two. They bring their negativity and paranoia into the situation and eventually destroy it. Too bad for them!
Thor you get my vote any day...
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Originally Posted by cdnmatt
heh, you obviously know absolutely nothing about the adult industry, do you? Do you think all that HD porn, extensive and complex marketing campaigns, high-end designs & promotional material, terabytes of data getting transferred every day, and everything else is all done by a bunch of lowlifes with camcorders? If anything, I'd say the adult industry contains a higher caliber of businessmen than most industries, simply because of the amount of money involved.
I'm sure that the extermination camps of Nazi Germany were also at the technological forefront of their day; that doesn't make their creators and operators into a moral heroes. Just because most members of this Board are or have at one time or another spent their time chasing prostitutes shouldn't blind us to the view that you are, I thought, promoting - that fidelity is a morally better outcome than promiscuity. My point is that you are confusing morality with commerce and cannot see how morally confused you are by chasing the pornography dollar while espousing monogamy. That's usually known, by the way, as hypocrisy.
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
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Originally Posted by thonglor55
I'm sure that the extermination camps of Nazi Germany were also at the technological forefront of their day; that doesn't make their creators and operators into a moral heroes.
So now people involved in the adult industry in any shape or form are comparable to Nazis? Huh?
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Originally Posted by thonglor55
Just because most members of this Board are or have at one time or another spent their time chasing prostitutes shouldn't blind us to the view that you are, I thought, promoting - that fidelity is a morally better outcome than promiscuity. My point is that you are confusing morality with commerce and cannot see how morally confused you are by chasing the pornography dollar while espousing monogamy. That's usually known, by the way, as hypocrisy.
Once again, you have absolutely no idea what you're talking about, so why do you keep talking? It's a $70 billion per-year industry. What? You don't think there's people within the industry who have a loving wife & kids, a dog they call their best friend, a nice house in the sub-burbs, and all that? And why am I even wasting the time to debate this with you? Go stick your head in your ass, where it belongs.
And if you must know, I sell high-end marketing solutions to affiliates within the industry, who promote various pay sites, who go through agencies to receive their content, who get their content from variety of places, who get their content from producers. I'm about five contacts away from an actual producer, idiot. Not that its any of your business anyway.
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Re: Who here is truly monogamous?
Why does it have to be love = monogamy = fidelity Matt? If that works for you fine. But why does your moral certainty and absolutism have to apply to everyone else. Why is that if I don't live by your moral code my life is somehow diminished?
You clearly don't like the suggestion that your professional life is in moral question because you work peripherally in the porn industry, yet seem to have no problem suggesting that those who have non-monogamous relationships are inferior. And in case you are wondering I couldn't give a shit one way or the other what you do for a living.
In the future when you want to have a discussion about the human condition, try getting off your moral high horse first.