Amen to that!! Mirrors - powders of all types and thai soap operas should be banned!Quote:
Originally Posted by homintern
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Amen to that!! Mirrors - powders of all types and thai soap operas should be banned!Quote:
Originally Posted by homintern
Though I understand where you are coming from, I don't necessarily agree with the above statements. From a visitor's point of view, there may be validity to your thoughts -- but for those of us who live here and are involved in a long-term, living situation with a Thai, it is quite the opposite. There have, for example, been occasions where I have had to confront my husband on certain matters face-to-face (in private of course) - even though I knew it would cause him to "lose face" to me because he was wrong. Remember, we are in an equal partnership here -- and as important as it is for me to respect his Thai ways -- he must also respect my American ways. In some cases, this means we do it the Thai way, and in other cases not. If you are speaking purely about public situations or relations in the day-to-day world -- then you are right: we are in Thailand, we must conform to Thai values when at all possible. However, in our home, between the two of us -- there HAS to be a blend.Quote:
Originally Posted by Surfcrest
Secondly, I refuse to "sit on my hands" in any personal relationship I have -- whether it be a Thai, South American, African or whatever. After all, my feelings are important too, and to discount them or suppress them would in fact be supporting a one-sided relationship. There must be give and take in every intimate relationship -- there must be appreciation for both sides FROM both sides. Again, in public situations it is a horse of a different color, and Thai society dictates appropriate behavior in these instances.
Fondly,
Chris
PS -- Smiles, we will have to get together for a drink sometime and discuss our common relationship experiences. No doubt we share many other commonalities between our mates!
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Many of us areQuote:
Originally Posted by Doug
This is the part I have a hard time with.Quote:
Originally Posted by American Teacher
What we believe, want to believe and what is isn't always the same.
Surfcrest
Surfcrest,Quote:
Originally Posted by Surfcrest
I can only speak for myself and not for others. I certainly cannot force you to understand or believe my personal relationship with my husband, but I would urge you to look beyond your own stereotypes -- and perhaps beyond the more common situation in Pattaya.
I have been in MANY long-term relationships with Americans and other nationalitites. In all these cases -- including my current one, I have insisted on equal respect and equal partnership. Like in all relationships -- this doesn't necessarily mean equal financial situations or equal cultural norms, but it does mean EQUAL RESPONSIBILITY.
There is more to many relationships here in Thailand -- I believe -- than just the young money-boy/old rich farang model (though there are plenty of these too).
Fondly,
Chris
www.niddynook.com
** Home of Pattaya's Tastiest Cheeseburger **
MANY long-term relationships?
You're either very old, or your "long-term relationships" aren't very long.
Oh, I think you're forgetting that delightful comment from pete1969 (on which I still dine out) - "A year is a lifetime for a gay man, so a long-term relationship is one that lasts a year or more"Quote:
Originally Posted by boygeenyus
You know Chris I always laugh when I hear you Americans saying things like this.Quote:
Originally Posted by American Teacher
Even suggesting you "cannot" leads me to believe the thought has crossed your mind:)
I'm sure you have had a great deal of experience with relationships. Clearly there is a difference between a paid relationship and mutual consent. The common denominator is that there is always a power struggle a sort of "tug-a-war" happening in any relationship including both of these. This might not be noticable in every relationship.Quote:
Originally Posted by American Teacher
When we westerners say things to each other in a heated time, we tend to say things that we know we can take back later. All I'm saying is that the rules in Thailand are very different. I wouldn't advise anyone to wade into an agrument without exploring all the limits. To say things they may regret....and to wind up much like how this thread began.
Surfcrest
Cultural (sorry hawkins) differences are a mine field, the number of promising friendships I have ruined by insulting someone's car for example are incredible. I feel strongly that a Porsche is not for everyone, but just try telling a Chinese donut that, and you are guaranteed never to be spoken too again. Not even in the lift a year later.
This makes me laugh. If only you could be a fly on the wall for some of our arguments! Broad brushed statements just plain and simply can't apply for all!Quote:
Originally Posted by Surfcrest
Fondly,
Chris
www.niddysnook.com
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